Aversion
by kzam
Summary: Cadet Cloud Strife has a new instructor, but it turns out the student/teacher fantasy in his mind might have been a bit unrealistic. When Instructor Fair treats him like the runt he is, his emotional state quickly deteriorates until he finds comfort under the guidance of someone he never expected. [temporarily on hiatus - undergoing some revision]
1. Chapter 1

Hey ^.^ So, thanks for checking this story out!

This will be set in a Crisis Core like environment, but will not follow that timeline/series of events at all. I'm secretly in love with Genesis and I refuse to let anything bad happen to him, sorry (okay, I'm not _really_ sorry)!

Warning: Yes, there will be some out of character components to this story. Not just with Zack.**  
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**Chapter One**

Beautiful blue mako-infused eyes scanned the room, their owner smiling warmly as he spoke. Every word was passionate and full of energy, and yet it seemed a distant noise as his audience pondered something significantly more important. Were those brilliant eyes bright like the blue sky, or deep like the color of ocean? Either way it seemed they could find a way to get lost in them, if only they could catch his gaze.

Most had already moved to the edge of their seats, eagerly awaiting the answer as he looked from one to the next, determined to acknowledge every single cadet present. And he didn't disappoint. Soon all were satisfied...

Except the smallest cadet.

He sat there like his peers, despite already knowing the answer after months of watching the man from afar. The possibility of discovering it again made him somewhat giddy with anticipation, and he _might_ have forgotten to breathe for just a moment as those eyes drew closer.

There was more at stake here than simple eye contact, and he knew that somewhere in his heart- if it would just stop beating so loudly he would have heard the rational side of his mind reminding him.

This would be his combat instructor for the term, and it was imperative to make the best impression possible. Combat was his favorite course, though admittedly one where he could use the most improvement. What better an opportunity than with this instructor?

Commander Zack Fair.

Easily the most popular SOLDIER among the cadets, and quite possibly the best looking. Well, at least top 4, most would agree- though it didn't seem fair to compare anyone to _those _three, so in a sense, Zack was in a category all his own.

That broad smile and infectious laughter were just too pleasant for anyone to dislike. When he entered a room, he filled it completely; all eyes would lock onto him, ready to hear his next tale and feel the excitement he radiated as he told it. As if these qualities weren't enough, he was somewhat of a prodigy- talented enough to be promoted to 1st Class at an impossibly young age.

Why he had been taken off field assignment and put in the classroom, no one present knew- but it didn't matter. They were all glad he was there; ready to hang on his every word after catching his gaze for just a moment. It was only an introductory day though, so the cadets' willingness to stare at the handsome SOLDIER all day and absorb whatever knowledge he had to offer was abruptly cut short.

"The real lessons begin tomorrow! Hope you're ready!"

And with that, his warm welcome speech ended, and his glances around the room came to an abrupt halt.

Cloud frowned, openly disappointed. He remained in his seat as his classmates before to rise around him, puzzled about why he had been forgotten. Had he been so far in the corner that Zack had missed him somehow? Or maybe it was just his smaller stature- he did have a tendency to get overlooked by some of his other instructors. He opted to find out, shuffling to the front of the class with the rest of his peers. Zack was waving at them as they left, chuckling under his breath as some cadets openly blushed or stumbled.

"Sir, I-" the boy began, his mouth still open as the commander's face became stern. His gaze became fixated on a point beyond the cadet, and without so much as a word, he swiftly exited the classroom. Cloud stood there a moment, stunned. What had he done? Perhaps trying to address the commander was out of line- everyone else had just offered an awkward salute or wave. Most instructors were approachable though, for questions or concerns at a minimum. The commander in particular had always treated the cadets kindly and with respect, even before he stepped into this role- though Cloud never braved to approach him.

Something urgent must have happened that he needed to check on, the cadet concluded, seeing no other logical answer.

A sharp elbow to the ribs snapped him out of his daze and he looked to the cadet at his side with a slight smile. "Hey, Nerro."

"What'd you do to piss off the commander, Strife?"

His friend spoke with a smile on his face, but the question only made his confusion resurface.

"I wish I knew," Cloud muttered, shrugging his shoulders and trying his best not to look too disappointed.

"Hey, don't look like that! I was kidding. Mako-infused hearing, remember? He probably heard something down the hall and had to check it out in a hurry. Don't worry about it."

Cloud did his best to brush it off as his friend had suggested, but couldn't help feeling disappointed still. When news had spread about Zack Fair becoming an instructor it had been all he could think about. None of this fit into the fantasy he had developed...They were supposed to become good friends somehow after developing a strong student and teacher bond- and that would all start after an amazing meeting on the first day. Sure, it had been a _somewhat _improbable thought, but of all his fantasies it had definitely been the most realistic.

The sight before his eyes as he exited the classroom only turned his dismay into devastation.

Clearly there had been no emergency in the halls. Zack was surrounded by a pack of cadets, answering their questions with a smile prominent on his face. Any trace of sternness was gone, like it had never been there at all. He felt his heart sink as he eyed the group, wondering if the whole thing had just been a misunderstanding on his part...Yet his classmate had noticed the stern look as well, so obviously it wasn't something he had imagined entirely.

_Why then?_

Even Nerro looked stumped, and he almost always had _something _to say. He just offered a quick shrug before walking toward the other cadets, gesturing for Cloud to follow. It sounded like the cadets were just bombarding their instructor with 'training' questions, but really, Cloud knew what they were doing. They were doing exactly what _he_ wanted to be doing; standing in Zack's presence, coming up with any excuse possible to stay there.

Something told him he wasn't welcome though, and he couldn't shake it. Instead he hung his head, trying not to get too emotional as he walked down the hall toward his next class. There was plenty of time before it began, but the idea of sitting alone in his room sulking just because Zack didn't talk to him seemed almost as pathetic as he felt.

"Ah, the troubled look of a broken heart."

Cloud's gaze snapped up from the floor, and he froze in the doorway. What were the odds? Somehow he seemed to remember to salute, but the man before him merely snickered at this, waving a dismissive hand.

"C-commander Rhapsodos."

"What's a cute thing like you doing looking so gloomy?"

The boy was more taken aback by the way the question had been asked than the question itself, and his jaw hung open just slightly. The smirk creeping onto the commander's face didn't help him process the question, nor did the way he beckoned the boy to join him at the desk he was leaning against in the front of the classroom.

Was it luck or some kind of curse that had drawn him so close to two of SOLDIER's finest in one day? He had heard stories about Commander Rhapsodos' beauty and even seen the man from afar, but never dared to look too long. Beauty wasn't the only thing mentioned in those stories; he was one of SOLDIER's most elite officers, and everything about the man intimidated the boy. Cadets did not approach officers like this.

Standing near him was an entirely different experience. The man was tall, almost elegant somehow- yet his expression shrewd as he carefully eyed the boy. His presence wasn't nearly as alarming as Cloud would have expected, but that hardly set him at ease. It was almost overwhelming to be near the man, though for some reason he had no desire to move away. It didn't make sense to the boy, to feel so compelled to stay under the eyes of someone who he had no place being near, but it seemed clear nothing about this man was supposed to make sense.

"The wandering soul knows no rest," the commander said softly, his tone whimsical though gaze growing impatient. "You know, they don't often let me chat with cadets. Apparently I'm a bad influence! You may as well let it out while you can, Cutie. What's wrong?"

"Oh!" He had forgotten that the commander had even asked a question. It seemed strange to tell a stranger what was weighing on his mind, but there was something in those feline eyes that made him feel as if the commander would _know _if he made something up instead of just telling the truth. He couldn't look away. "I just met someone I look up to, and he kinda blew me off. I guess I'm just disappointed, that's all."

A smile curled the commander's lips. "Sephiroth doesn't _appear_ to like anyone. Don't be offended."

Just the idea of meeting Sephiroth was terrifying enough, and the way his day was going, he shivered at the thought with wide eyes. "It wasn't the general, sir. It was Commander Fair."

"Fair?" He arched an eyebrow as Cloud nodded. "As in Commander Zack Fair?" Another nod. "Zack the Puppy Fair? Dreamy blue eyes? Black hair almost as spiky as yours?" Three more nods. "A body I'd be crazy _not _to dream about taking?"

Cloud hesitated at this one. "Um, I mean…" His face was red, and he nearly jumped away as Commander Rhapsodos' eyes bore into him. There was definitely a right and a wrong answer to this question. "Yes?"

The commander laughed, looking thoroughly pleased with the boy's embarrassment. "You are_ too_ cute…Still, I can't believe the puppy would ignore a student, let alone a _fan_. I'll have to have a chat with him."

"No!" Cloud exclaimed, his big eyes somehow growing wider at the idea. "Please, sir! I may have just imagined the whole thing!"

"A better solution then! You should join my fan club instead!" The man looked entirely serious, and perhaps a bit too excited about this idea. "Oh, you'll love it! We do group readings of LOVELESS and if you're in long enough, you get discounts on great leather jackets. I pick them out myself- can't have my fans getting my style wrong."

"Um-"

"It's settled then! Consider yourself a member of Red Leather! I'll have my people contact you…what was your name again?"

"Cadet Strife, sir. Cloud Strife."

The SOLDIER smirked again, winking at the boy as he moved to exit the room. "Oh, and Blondie, tell your instructor I was looking for him. And don't forget the wink- I'll ask him to make sure! Can't have my messages being delivered improperly."

The boy's jaw dropped as the man pranced away, stunned by what had just happened.

_Don't forget the wink? _He felt mortified just thinking about it.

Cursed. It was definitely not luck that had put him in this situation, he decided.

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o.o.o.o.o

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Genesis chuckled softly to himself, unable to get the image of that cute boy's sweet face out of his head. It was almost so much fun that he wished he spent more time playing with the cadets, but alas, Sephiroth had asked him to refrain. While it hadn't exactly been an order, he did respect his friend enough to try. It didn't help that ShinRa painted him out to be some kind of untouchable hero. Sure, it stroked his ego just the way he liked, but it made the cadets too timid to approach him willingly.

Most cadets weren't worth the time anyway, and none were as adorable as Strife.

The blond was definitely cute enough to keep, but it seemed unlikely Sephiroth would allow him to take on a student of his own for a reason like that. They'd had a similar conversation the last time a cadet caught the redhead's eyes, and it hadn't gone well.

_"I believe Angeal is the appropriate choice," the general decided quickly and rationally._

_Genesis rolled his eyes, not quite ready to give up. "It's not like I'd _touch _the boy! Not without permission anyway."_

_Sephiroth didn't seem so amused, but he almost never did. "He is one of our most promising recruits. I expect he will be promoted to 3rd Class before completing his first term of the candidacy program."_

_"That hasn't happened since-" He cut himself off, frowning. "Has that ever happened?"_

_"Technically not. We were already in SOLDIER before the program was established."_

_"Hmph." He folded his arms across his chest, glaring at his friend still. "But why does Angeal get a puppy and I don't?"_

_"Even if the circumstances were different, you are hardly suited-"_

_"Fine, Angeal can have him! Anything to spare me another lecture." His eyes became full of mischief as an idea crossed his mind, and he moved closer to his friend. "Unless I can persuade you-" The general swatted his hand away before it could make contact with his chest, causing Genesis to pout further. "You never were any fun. I suppose I'll have to find other ways to stay occupied for now."_

His request to become Zack's mentor hadn't exactly been serious, and he still had no genuine interest in taking on a student…but the thought of asking Sephiroth again after all these years was entertaining enough to warrant a visit to the general's office. There were other concerns he needed to discuss with his old friend anyway, and so he moved swiftly in that direction. He ignored the annoyed glance from Sephiroth's secretary as he walked by, opening the office door without a knock.

"I am in the middle of something, Genesis." The general didn't look up from the file on his desk, but that didn't surprise his friend. He plopped into the chair across from the desk, crossing his legs and eyeing the silver haired man carefully until sharp eyes flickered up and met his own. "Do you have an important matter to discuss, or can this wait until later? I have an appointment soon."

"You never sound this grumpy when Angeal visits."

"Angeal understands I have certain obligations to fulfill, and does not press me when I tell him I have work to complete." He folded his hands over the file, looking to Genesis with slightly diminishing patience. "What is it you require?"

"I want my own puppy!" he declared eagerly, electric blue eyes dancing as he moved to the edge of the seat. "Though I suppose I'd have to come up with a new name for him- can't have two puppies running around. Can you imagine the confusion that would cause? Plus, this one actually has an attention span. Hmm…I could stick with Blondie, but I didn't really like that one much. There's always-"

"No."

"You didn't even _see _him though, or-"

"No."

"But Seph-"

"Tell me why you came here, Genesis. I know you have no interest in being a mentor, there's too much paperwork."

Genesis narrowed his eyes. "Why do you have to be so observant?"

"It is a trait that-"

"It was rhetorical, Seph! I know. It's just another thing about you that makes you…_you," _Genesis said, smiling a bit. He even saw the slightest hint of a smile curling Sephiroth's lips, and quickly decided it was time to reveal the real reason he had dropped by. "I want to go to Wutai."

The silver haired man stared at his friend, not at all shocked. "You are already aware that I cannot send you."

"I don't like being kept away from Angeal."

"You are not being kept away; the assignment simply did not require both of my top SOLDIERs. I need you here."

Genesis arched an eyebrow, not satisfied with the general's vague explanation or sudden use of his authoritative tone. "Is Lazard _that _bad in bed that you need _me _to keep you company?"

A flare of irritation went off in the general's eyes, dissipating as quickly as it arose. "No, and my personal affairs are none of your business."

"We're_ friends_, Seph. You can't treat to me like the other 1st Classes. I knew about you and Lazard before _you _did," Genesis insisted, shrugging his shoulders. There were a few more things he wanted to say on the subject, but none would help him persuade Sephiroth to send him to Wutai. He chose a different angle instead. "You have someone here, so you won't be lonely. Angeal doesn't."

"Angeal has an entire squadron of 2nd and 3rd Classes to keep him company."

"Yes, well, he's not into that kinda thing. Trust me."

Sephiroth blinked. "Angeal has always cared about the men under his command."

"That's not what I meant, but never mind! You know I'm not just being selfish here; the people in Wutai love me! I'd be an asset to the mission," Genesis pressed, his hope dwindling as Sephiroth's stare grew a bit uncomfortable. "You're going to say no again, aren't you? I can tell you don't want to."

"It displeases me to upset you. It is, however, out of my hands."

"And this has nothing to do with the fact that if I left you'd have no one to duel with?"

"I am not so selfish-"

"I heard the last time you tried to train with anyone other than me or Angeal, the poor boy fainted before you even drew your sword."

"That was an unfortunate incident," his friend responded, looking entirely too innocent for someone who didn't often show much emotion.

Genesis snorted, wishing he had been around to witness such an 'incident'. It never would have happened if he _had _been around though, which reminded him of his current predicament. "Am I really stuck here?"

Sephiroth nodded once. "Yes."

"Then I want a puppy."

A rare moment occurred between the two friends as Genesis pouted again. Sephiroth chuckled softly, though only for a second before a slight smirk returned to his face. It wasn't often the general laughed these days, and the few times he did were moments Genesis had learned to treasure. He couldn't help laughing as well, shaking his head despite the outcome of their conversation. There was obviously more to the general's denial than they had discussed, but being stuck in Midgar wouldn't be so bad if they could share more of these moments.

And if that didn't work out, there was always a certain wide eyed cadet he could track down for amusement. Technically Sephiroth hadn't said _no _to that much, at least.

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**[EDIT 2/8/15]**

Hey! So, in the most recent chapters (14-15) I mentioned in my author's notes that I'd be doing some structural edits - that process is underway now. I'll be elaborating when I post the next chapter (16), but for now I just wanted to leave a quick note in case anyone happens to re-read and notice any slight differences. _None of the edits will be plot altering_ \- I'm just adding a few details predominantly about the setting, and working out some wording redundancies/flow issues. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or concerns before hand, otherwise I'll definitely let y'all know more when the next chapter gets posted (which will be soon)!

Hopefully the story as a whole will be more enjoyable with some extra details, for new and old readers alike ^.^ And, of course, thanks for all the support so far! This story has been a really fun experience for me, and I feel like I'm learning a lot. It's one of my first fanfics ever, and definitely the highest word count piece of writing I've ever done. Y'all have been really motivational, more than I ever could have imagined, soooo I really can't thank you enough :-)


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for reading ^.^ This chapter is mostly back story, so it's a bit dry - hopefully enjoyable still!

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**Chapter Two**

_What was so special about the kid, anyway?_

The question was pulling at the SOLDIER's mind, recurring every few minutes no matter how many distractions he managed to find...and he was particularly good at being distracted. Whatever the answer was, he couldn't see it- he didn't even have a theory, nor did he truly care to develop one. It was almost as if the repeated question were taunting him rather than awaiting an explanation, refusing to accept the desirable solution he had offered up in response: the boy _wasn't _special.

Sure, the cadet was attractive enough, but there were plenty of attractive men at ShinRa- cadets and SOLDIERs alike. This particular cadet was a _bit _unique looking, but only because he was such a runt. It made him seem younger somehow, giving him an air of innocence. And really, someone like that had no place joining an elite military training program.

Those eyes too…There was no denying they were a bit different from the average cadet's. Even from across the training room he could see those big blue eyes staring in his direction, though he stubbornly refused to meet the boy's gaze. He pondered a moment how they'd look if the kid ever _did _make SOLDIER…with mako-infusion they'd shine even more brilliantly...

He blinked, snapping out of his trance with a bit of irritation. This wasn't the kind of distraction he was seeking, and it certainly wasn't going to force his mind to accept his answer to its silly question.

If nothing else, the cadet's blond hair was way too spiky and out of control.

This thought only made him chuckle, quickly remembering it rivaled the spikiness of his own raven locks. Perhaps that was why it bothered him so much…Really, they weren't so different.

The boy hit the ground with a soft thud, rapidly drawing his full attention back to his current surroundings.

After a full week in the lecture hall, they'd finally moved to the training hall for their first practical lessons. Combat courses were unique in that lessons were split every week. They'd spend a few days learning mechanics and technical aspects of combat from their instructor and textbooks, and the rest of the week was spent putting their new knowledge to the test.

The training hall wasn't like a lecture hall; there were no desks or whiteboard. There were padded mats on the ground, and racks of training weapons on the far wall. None of those weapons were a part of their lesson for the day though. Zack had given a brief hand-to-hand demonstration that went along with the material they had already gone over, and he was keeping a careful eye on the students despite the distractions he faced. He had to be ready to assist them, and react if anyone actually got hurt.

The blond cadet wasn't the only one to hit the ground so far; he'd gone over to check on numerous other students, offering tips and encouragement that had them trying twice as hard the next time. There were a few different things he wanted to offer Cadet Strife though. After ignoring the boy's raised hand in class and blatant attempts at eye contact for a week, he_ finally_ had an opening.

"You're not very good at this, Strife," was the best he could come up with as he moved down the training mat to the cadet and his sparring partner. He almost felt bad as the boy looked up at him, the hurt obvious in those big blue eyes- but that pain was nothing compared to what _he _felt. Still, he couldn't continue to meet that stare, and so he turned to the boy's sparring partner instead. "Nerro, right?"

"Yes, sir," the other cadet responded, standing straight as his instructor stood in front of him.

"Don't let up or he'll never learn," he said, patting the cadet's shoulder before circling to the next pair.

Harsh words, but they were true despite the fact it wasn't his style to say things like that. Nothing about this term was typical though, so it seemed inevitable that there would be some adjustments- particularly when it came to _that_ cadet.

Being an instructor was right up his alley, but never something he wanted to do. The cadets always responded well to him, and he was just as happy to give them pep talks when they were accepted into the SOLDIER candidacy program or even before the occasional mission- an entire term of classes though? He hadn't joined SOLDIER to teach; he belonged in the field.

_Angeal, _he cursed, though he couldn't fight the smile that always accompanied thoughts of his mentor.

Just when he had been promoted to 1st Class- just when Angeal had no choice but to accept he was an adult and ready to take on some real responsibility…One _minor _training injury, and suddenly Lazard was pulling the newly promoted 1st into his office and giving him a training post for the term.

_"Just until you're back at 100 percent,"_ Lazard had assured him, as if he had come up with this brilliant plan by himself.

The SOLDIER balled his right hand into a fist before releasing it with a sigh. He already _was _at 100%, but the term had begun and there was no backing out apparently. Coincidentally, his mentor would be on a temporary assignment until more than halfway through the 6 month term, unable to hover close and keep a protective eye on his apprentice.

_"Don't worry, Pup. They'll love you."_

_"I'm not worried about them. I can handle cadets! What I can't handle is you thinking that I'm not capable of doing missions by myself!" He could see the struggle in his mentor's eyes as he spoke, but it was too important not to press this issue. "Why'd you even recommend me for promotion if you don't think I'm ready?"_

_"You _are _ready, Pup. Maybe I'm just not," Angeal confessed, rubbing Zack's arm affectionately. The younger man closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath as a familiar surge of emotions coursed through him. It wasn't fair for someone to hold such power over him- for something as simple as a touch to sway the direction of their debate. "I'd feel better about going to Wutai if I knew you weren't out there being reckless without me close by."_

_"Angeal! I'm not 15 anymore," he whined, his tone not helping his case. His eyes fluttered open, and with all his determination he glared at his mentor. "I don't need a protector, I need a partner!"_

_He could feel the heat in his cheeks as he realized the double meaning behind his own words, though if his mentor detected it, he showed no indication. Instead he offered an indulgent smile, comforting as always. "Then I'll feel better if my _partner _didn't go on missions while I'm gone."_

_"But then why do _you _get to go-"_

_"It's not up to me. If you want to argue about my assignment, I'd suggest you take it up with the general," Angeal said simply._

_Zack scoffed. "I'm not scared of Seph."_

_"Yes, well, that doesn't mean you'll convince him to let me stay."_

_"Doesn't mean he can't be convinced to let me go. He knows what I'm capable of, even if you try to treat me like I'm not." He crossed his arms defiantly, eliciting a soft chuckle from his mentor._

_"I may not be able to convince him to keep you here, but _Lazard _can- and he really does need someone to fill that instructor slot. You should have seen him light up when I mentioned your name. Apparently the number of acceptable candidates has dropped by 15 percent in the last three years and he thinks your smiling face might be the solution for bringing out the best in this batch."_

_"Angeal!" again he whined, shamelessly as his mentor laughed. "I think your fan club is big enough for the both of us- I don't need a bunch of 16 year old boys gawking at me."_

_"You were younger than that when I first met you."_

_"But I didn't gawk at you!"_

_His mentor arched an eyebrow at this. "You worshiped the ground I walked on for at least 6 months before you were housebroken, Pup."_

_"That was different!" Zack exclaimed, desperately trying to hold his ground. "You weren't just lecturing me in a classroom a few days a week, I had to _live _with you. How was I supposed to know that the man behind the legends was actually a big softy?"_

_There were other things to gawk at as well, though he didn't dare mention those. Back then it hadn't crossed his mind, but now? There was no denying the fact that he viewed the man standing before him as more than a mentor. The connection he felt with Angeal was something even he didn't quite understand, but one day he would find the courage to figure it out._

_"You were so much more cooperative back then..."_

_"I'm serious, Angeal! I'll be a terrible instructor anyway."_

_The humor faded from Angeal's face, quickly reverting to his naturally stoic expression. "That's not true. You have plenty to offer those cadets, and they'll be glad to have you. Plus, who knows- you might even find your own lost puppy in the batch." Even though he wanted to be annoyed still, Zack couldn't hold back his smile any longer. He had no interest in finding his own puppy, but the fondness in his mentor's tone made his heart leap. Big, familiar arms pulled him into a firm hug, and he clung to his mentor willingly. There wasn't a single bad thing that could happen that couldn't be healed away when those arms held him close. "I'll be back before you know it, Pup. Behave for me?"_

_He wasn't capable of saying no to a request like that. __"I will."_

Defeated with ease, without ever having drawn his sword. Zack sighed at the thought, though couldn't help smiling again as he remembered Angeal's warm embrace. One day his mentor would see it- see that he was no longer the a child. And then maybe that day…maybe he'd realize there was something different between them, and maybe he would feel the same. The very idea of it made his heart race, but he tried to reel it in as he continued to scan the class- _his _class.

Hand-to-hand usually wasn't something a SOLDIER specialized in or needed, but it was still taught as a precaution in case they were ever disarmed. So far things weren't going particularly well. He'd intentionally kept his demonstration brief, curious to see what the cadets' base level was in this area. Most weren't showing a high aptitude for it, and it was one of the most basic stances they'd be covering. It was somewhat of a relief to see how many cadets were struggling though.

The more cadets who needed help, the more work he'd have cut out for him...which meant staying busy. The busier he would be, the faster this time would pass. He could appease Lazard for the term and then things could get back to normal. Angeal would be back by then, and he could get back in the field. Plus he still remembered _being_ a cadet...granted it was only a brief period of time before his promotion to 3rd Class, he knew well the pressure they were all under. It didn't matter why he was in the classroom or for how long; if he could help them succeed, he would.

Well, most of them anyway. His eyes darted to the blond cadet who had hit the ground again...Even with his opponent clearly holding back, he wasn't holding his own. As if anticipating his instructor's glance, the boy immediately jumped back to his feet and averted his gaze before bracing himself for more. It probably hadn't been wise for the smallest member of the class to pair with the largest, but they _had _all chosen their own partners. Again Nerro had the boy off his feet, rushing in apologetically this time as the cadet let out a soft yelp.

Zack shook his head at the sight, unable to hide the contempt on his face. It was an unfamiliar expression for him to make and even felt strange to bear, but he couldn't help it. Usually he _wanted _everyone to like him, but definitely not this boy.

He moved back to the pair, putting a hand on Nerro's shoulder as he prepared to begin the lesson for the day. The entire class stopped what they were doing as their instructor called for their attention, eagerly awaiting whatever Zack had to say.

"Okay, not bad, but to be honest, we have a lot of room left for improvement!" he told the class, though no one seemed disheartened by this as their instructor offered them a reassuring smile. "That's why we're here though, so relax! You all look way too stressed out and that's the first problem. You're gonna be stuck with me for a few months so one way or another I'll get you to loosen up," he promised, eliciting a few giggles from around the room. "Hand-to-hand though, we've only got a few more weeks to spend on this before we need to move on. I want you to watch again." He didn't need to tell anyone; they were already staring intently, the blond cadet included. Their instructor tapped his hips before taking a stance, jabbing the air with obvious force. It was the same demonstration as before, but the class was focusing more after so many rocky attempts. "For this one, the power comes from your hips. Nerro, you try."

The boy at his side hesitated a moment before trying to mimic his instructor's stance. It was an awkward attempt, and only slightly hinted at the movement Zack had displayed.

"Okay. You have the footing, but your arms…" Zack reached out, adjusting the boy's arms without standing too close. "There. That's your starting point. Remember your hips and try again!"

Again, he struck, but this time harder. The entire class seemed impressed by this, and soon were instructed to try again. It seemed more than a few needed a hands-on reminder as Nerro had received, though Zack did his best not to over indulge their fantasies. He had never noticed the way some of the cadets eyed him before taking this position, but Lazard had made it a point to warn him- he could see very clearly how true it was.

There was something awkward about the idea of the cadets being physically or romantically interested in him. Maybe because they seemed like kids still, maybe because they barely knew him, or maybe because his heart was elsewhere- he wasn't totally sure, but he definitely didn't like getting that kind of attention from them.

What was worse, the blond cadet was one of them. It didn't take much to notice the staring, and those eyes were just too big to conceal emotions. Even without making direct eye contact it was obvious, which was oddly impressive yet mildly bothersome. How the cadet hadn't realized yet that looking to his instructor that way was pointless, Zack wasn't sure. He resolved to continue to make it clear as the boy quietly asked for help. Instead of responding he had turned to Nerro again, instructing him to answer his partner's questions for the day.

No one in this class would get the wrong idea. Especially not Cadet Strife.

When _he _had been a cadet, he was so focused on training that he hadn't even thought about things like silly crushes- granted he had been younger than most of these cadets. A typical cadet joined the program at 16, while he had been 15- and while most cadets had to endure the full two year training regime before attempting their SOLDIER exams, he had gotten to test early thanks to Angeal's mentorship.

It was no simple feat though, despite his natural skill level being more advanced than most cadets. They had put in hours of extra work, which left him no time to consider much beyond his training regime- definitely no time to gawk shamelessly at any of his instructors, or waste on foolish thoughts of things that would never happen. His only pointless crushes were the ones _everyone _had, that he couldn't rightfully deny- but they were never taken seriously, and as he grew up and actually _befriended _those men, it was easy to see beyond his childish crushes.

He'd never seriously considered pursuing a relationship with anyone, really, or thought twice about it until the day he realized maybe that was just because the person he wanted most was the person he was with every day already.

_Angeal, _his heart sank at the thought. There were still several _months_ until his mentor returned, depending on the regional progress that occurred while his team was deployed to Wutai.

A lopsided punch caught his attention, forcing him out of his daydream just in time to sidestep out of range with a chuckle. The student began professing his apology immediately, but really, Zack had appreciated the occurrence. Thinking about how long Angeal would be gone would definitely not bring him back any sooner. He gave the cadet a comforting pat on the back before instructing him to try again so he could see what was going wrong. After a few tips, the disheartened cadet seemed to brighten, finally getting the simple motion down correctly. Seeing the cadet beam up at him actually filled him with an unexpected sense of accomplishment, oddly reminiscent of the way he felt after completing a mission.

Maybe a training post wouldn't be so bad. Just one term.

* * *

o.o.o.o.o

* * *

Angeal had barely been gone two weeks, and yet it felt like he had been in Wutai much longer- perhaps because it wasn't his first stint there. He had spent a long time blocking those memories out though, and preferred to keep them in the past. Instead it made sense to just focus on his current objective.

_Investigate the unrest reported in Wutai._

It had been so vague, and though he knew not all in Wutai liked ShinRa after the war, there was nothing suspicious in the air. In fact, it seemed their arrival had only made things more tense. There was already a small base of operations for SOLDIER in Wutai, so the added manpower only put its residents on edge. All the terrorist activity so far was standard based on the reports, so it was unclear what ShinRa was hoping to accomplish by sending more men to the area.

Whatever it was, he assumed it would become apparent in time. He had been requested specifically for the mission, which didn't happen often. He and Genesis went on a variety of missions, together and separately, but the higher ups at ShinRa only _requested _one of them if it were important. Even Sephiroth hadn't been able to provide any additional information, stating only that the decision came from above Lazard.

They wouldn't have selected him to head the mission if it weren't somewhat important.

He retired to his room after giving his final orders for the evening, letting out a long sigh that he would never allow in front of his men. They looked to him for leadership, and if they suspected he had doubts about the assignment, they may let their guard down. If anything were truly happening, he would at least make sure his men were ready.

"Wonder what the pup is up to," he pondered aloud, moving to his bed and falling to it back first. He ran a hand through his long hair, letting it rest above his head as he continued to let his mind wander.

_Gen won't let him get into too much trouble, _he thought, hoping he was right. _Maybe I should have asked Zack to look after Gen though…_

More often than not, they got each other in trouble, which was hardly a reassuring thought.

He took in a deep breath, letting it out with all his concerns as he forced his mind to remain at ease. They would be fine. Sephiroth would be around to handle the situation if anything happened, and if the general needed anything...well, they could all take care of each other.

Rationally, there was nothing for Angeal to worry about at all when it came to his student or friends.

He'd spent six years as Zack's mentor though, and they had never been separated for more than a day. Being separated was something they would both have to get used to now that Zack had been promoted- now that they were no longer 'officially' mentor and apprentice. At least he could find comfort in knowing that Zack wouldn't be in danger this time.

Part of him regretted recommending his student for promotion at all, though the very thought of this regret only flooded him with guilt. Really, Zack had deserved the promotion over a year before he received it, but it seemed an impossible feat to let him go. It wasn't until even his own friends had pressured him that he knew he was stalling too long.

_"He's too young still."_

_A lie, and he knew it- he was still young, but certainly not _too _young. And what he lacked for in years, he made up for in pure skill and instinct. But he had to grasp at something- anything- to justify his decision._

_"They won't let you keep him forever," Genesis warned, his typically mischievous stare taken over by sympathy. "You trained him too well and there are only so many of us. Better to do this on your terms before they just tear him away."_

_"I find myself agreeing with Genesis for once." Sephiroth reached out to his friend and rested a firm hand on his shoulder. This was about as much sympathy as the general knew how to show, and only made the words hit Angeal harder. "Perhaps it is time."_

_"But what if something happens to him?"_

_There must be something...some legitimate reason. If he could get Sephiroth to agree, then surely Lazard and any of the executives could also be persuaded to wait._

_"He is a SOLDIER. Something will happen to him," the general said, with the same certainty he always exuded in these matters. "He has been through much already."_

_Genesis leaped to his feet, shooting the general an unnoticed glare. "I think what Seph is _trying _to say is, so what? We get hurt, it happens- they have materia for that! Your pet will pull through, like he always does, because you taught him how." It was Genesis' turn to put a reassuring hand on his friend's other shoulder, but neither of his friends' gestures seemed to be sufficient._

_"Our assignments won't always be the same if I'm no longer his mentor. I might be sent away from him…And worse, if he gets sent without me! He'll either be alone or be in charge of the lower ranks sent with him. I don't know if he's ready for that kind of responsibility."_

_"Ang, we've all met your puppy. Even you can't believe what you just said."_

_He didn't. That didn't make it any easier though._

_Sephiroth nodded in agreement once more. "The puppy does tend to inspire quite easily." Both men looked to the general, wide eyed at his use of the nickname Angeal had given Zack so many years before. "The men will follow him, and when the time comes, he will know what to do."_

There had been no delay after that. Sephiroth had ended the conversation by refusing to ask Lazard for more time to consider the promotion, and by then, he wasn't sure if he wanted to keep delaying it himself. His friends were right…And the way Zack had beamed when he announced his recommendation- it had been worth the heartbreak just to see that, though it seemed difficult to remember after being separated so quickly.

Just a few more months…He let out another deep breath, remembering that though this was the first time in years he had been separated from Zack for more than a day, it was not his first time away from people he cared about. It was lonely, but at least _they _weren't alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Cloud was stunned by the number of people showing up at his dorm room, especially since his roommate had gone out for the afternoon. Usually if anyone stopped by, it was just to see Nerro, and that was how he preferred it. Sure, he had a couple friends of his own, but he never went out of his way to make them. Almost immediately after joining the candidacy program he discovered that he didn't exactly fit in among the other cadets, and so the idea of putting himself out there again just made him nervous. The last time he tried to mingle with the other cadets he had quickly been reminded that he was just a tiny, pretty boy who would likely fail out anyway; there was no point in befriending such a person.

So why did it seem like his entire group of classmates for the term were approaching him _now_? He had enough on his mind this term without the added confusion. Virtually every time he was alone his mind would wander back to the mystery that surrounded Commander Fair's behavior toward him. Weeks had gone by without improvement and until he could find some logical explanation, he couldn't rest easily. The incessant knocks only served as an unwanted distraction from his thoughts.

Several facts were undeniable at this point. First, his instructor avoided eye contact aside from the moments he chose to point out the cadet's failures, often so loudly that the entire class would hear. Second, these failures apparently occurred on a daily basis, even when the cadet didn't think he was doing _that _badly. Third, he never provided individual instruction to the cadet despite doing this with every single one of his classmates.

And perhaps the most upsetting...Cloud's heart sank further as he admitted it to himself. The fourth undeniable fact; no matter how poorly the commander treated him, he found himself growing more and more captivated by the man.

When someone acted that way, it would only make sense to dislike that person. So why wouldn't his heart let him grow to despise the man? Surely it would be easier to endure the daily glare and criticism if he could grow to hate Commander Fair. The way he treated the other cadets though...Zack was an excellent instructor. It was almost an out of body experience; he watched the way the commander interacted with everyone and it fit perfectly into his fantasies about what the commander was like. He was exactly the kind, energetic 1st Class SOLDIER the cadet imagined, in every way...Better, even.

Aside from the major detail that he treated Cloud so differently, the the man was perfect. His heart raced at the very thought of his instructor, and his desires only seemed to multiply by the day. It was a dangerous cycle of thoughts though, only making the glares and comments more painful to bear. When it came to Zack Fair, there was no logic great enough to block these mixed emotions out.

The boy sighed, at a complete loss still. No matter how much he thought about it, nothing about this situation made sense. Unless the commander just thought he was weak and didn't belong...Of all the possibilities, this _did _make the most sense, but something about it just didn't fit in with Zack's personality. There were other cadets who were struggling, and he seemed to have no problem with them.

Cloud frowned, realizing that those cadets had also been among those to knock at his door today. They weren't asking to hang out or interested in studying together...Yet they all mentioned how they'd love to partner with him in Zack's class, with some odd sparkle in their eyes. Perhaps they had noticed that he wasn't doing well and felt sorry for him, or maybe they thought they'd look better if they paired with the weakest person in the class. Both seemed possible, and the idea made the cadet feel uneasy.

Another knock on his door pulled him back from his analysis. By now he was getting tired of it, especially with his rising suspicions. Still, he forced himself to answer in case it happened to be something important.

"Hey, Cloud!"

Cloud arched an eyebrow. Usually the cadets all referred to each other by their last names, not their first. He had barely ever spoken more than a couple words to this particular cadet, and noted he was not in the same combat course. "Hey, Tris," he replied tentatively. "Nerro's not here right now, but I can tell him you stopped by." There was no other reason this boy would show up at his door if not looking for his roommate. "So um, see ya-"

A hand on the door stopped it from closing, and Tristan was looking at the boy with a smile. "I'm here to see you, actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I wanted to know if maybe you'd wanna get lunch or coffee or something?"

Suddenly Cloud felt more nervous an awkward than he had originally. This day was just not going the way he expected, at all. "Um…okay. Why though? We don't have classes together this term, so-"

"Like a date, Cloud," the boy clarified, his eyes still hopeful.

Cloud's face went red immediately, and he cursed himself for being so oblivious. This hadn't even registered in his mind as a possibility.

Tristan seemed like a nice enough guy, but was he really interested in _dating _him? He wasn't bad looking; average height and build, but his scruffy brown hair paired with deep brown eyes had its charm...he was definitely no Zack Fair though. Every instinct in his body screamed at him to just say no. His heart and mind were elsewhere, whether it made sense or not, and so it didn't seem right to go out with anyone else. Yet it seemed cruel to deny someone who looked so hopeful. One date couldn't hurt...not too much anyway.

"Okay. A date," he agreed, his hand on his neck nervously as he processed what he had just said. This was his second term in the SOLDIER candidacy program, and he had never _once _been asked on a date or even thought about going out with another cadet. "Um. When?"

"Well I was thinking later, but now that I'm here looking at you…I'm free now," Tristan said, smiling as Cloud's face went red again.

"I'm not really dressed to go out," he protested, only to see Tristan eyeing him with obvious disagreement. If his face weren't already lit up with embarrassment, he was sure he would have gone red all over again. He took a deep breath, trying to relax a bit as he let it out. Why did he agree to this? The answer seemed forgotten already, but maybe it _would _be better to get it over with sooner rather than stress till later...Plus the idea of sulking about Commander Fair and debating with himself for three more hours _was_ mildly depressing. His eyes landed on Tristan's and he gave a quick nod, knowing he'd only change his mind if he waited any longer. "Okay. I don't have classes for a few hours, so now's fine I guess."

"Great! Why don't we just go to that coffee place right outside the base then?"

"Sure."

The taller boy was beaming as they walked, despite the awkward silence that managed to form between the pair. It seemed they were off the base before another word was spoken, and those first words were just their orders at the coffee shop. Finally they sat down across from each other, Cloud sipping at his drink as he mentally berated himself for getting into such an awkward situation.

"Do I make you nervous?" Tristan asked, smiling again as Cloud sunk a bit in his chair. "It's okay. I'm kinda nervous too. I've been thinking about this for a while- you and me. I was really sad when I found out we didn't have any courses together this term."

_I didn't even notice,_ Cloud thought, opting not to mention this detail.

"Plus, you get to have Fair- that must be amazing! I'd give anything to work with him. What's he like?"

Cloud nearly laughed at this question, but managed to hold it back. Was there no escaping thoughts of this man?

"Different than I expected. He's...amazing. Great at every single thing he does. There's something motivating about having someone like him as an instructor." His words were all true, but he hesitated to mention his own personal experiences with his instructor. Tristan seemed captivated by Cloud's explanation, and so he continued, his own heart rate increasing with every word. "He just has this energy about him. Not like the usual instructors who want to keep everyone in line and scare them into succeeding. He treats everyone more like equals, and even if you get the wind knocked out of you, no one cares because he'll just smile at you and that's all it takes. Somehow you have the energy to try again- to try harder, and be better."

_Everyone except me._

"And he's great to look at."

"I guess," Cloud said with a shrug, though mentally he was screaming _yes, yes he is! _In fact, the one good thing about Commander Fair never looking at the cadet was he could stare all he wanted without fear of being caught.

"What'd you mean different than you expected though? That's exactly how I'd imagined him being."

A hand encompassed his own, and Cloud found himself stiffen at the touch. It felt weird, but he didn't pull back. Again Tristan was giving him that hopeful stare, and he couldn't help but try to continue as vaguely as possible. "Well. It's a pretty big class, I guess. Not everyone can have his attention all the time. Sometimes it might seem like he's overlooking someone."

"I'm sure that's not intentional. I bet he can't keep his eyes off you, at least. I can't imagine anyone who could…The moment I saw you, I was hooked," the boy confessed, his own face growing a bit red at the admission. "There's just something special about you."

"I'm not special," Cloud muttered, sighing. "I wish I were."

Tristan squeezed his hand reassuringly. "You are. It's hard to come here to a place like this and stay so…pure. I can see it on your face though. Being away from home, going through all this training- it hasn't taken that away from you. I think that's what drew me to you. That and your eyes. Did you ever…consider me before I asked you out?"

Cloud shifted in his seat, taking a long sip of his drink as he thought about how to answer delicately. "Um…I mean, we didn't really talk ever." Tristan's face showed his obvious disappointment, and the guilt began nagging at him to say something nice. "But I didn't consider dating anyone to be honest. I was just focusing on training and studying. I really wanna make it…It's all I've ever wanted, to be a SOLDIER."

Tristan smiled at this, nodding in agreement. "I think everyone feels that way about being here. They say only about 10 percent of our class will actually make the cut. The rest get to go to the infantry."

"I think I'd rather-"

"Oh, my, gods!"

Cloud frowned, following his date's stunned stare into the coffee shop. The whole world seemed to stop for a moment as he realized who was inside...Zack Fair, looking as charming as ever. He seemed a bit overwhelmed, surrounded by a small group of fans who clearly weren't from the base. Most were girls, and girls were few and far between in SOLDIER and among the cadets.

_So even civilians love him,_ Cloud thought, not surprised in the least.

He was moving toward the exit, coffee in his hand as one of his followers graciously opened the door for him. He muttered a thank you, and as he looked around, his eyes became fixated on the table with his blond cadet. For a moment Cloud felt exhilarated, until those beautiful eyes fell to his hand, linked still with Tristan's. It was irrational, but he wanted nothing more than to pull his hand away suddenly. Zack's gaze had already shifted though, from their linked hands to his date...

"He just…winked at me," Tristan said, his voice barely a whisper. There was a broad smile on his face as he continued to eye Zack, not even trying to be subtle. It was Tristan who ended up pulling his hand back, and Cloud couldn't help but feel relieved and disappointed all at once. He certainly didn't _want _to hold the boy's hand or even really want to be on a date with him, yet the idea that Zack had caused him to pull back was unsettling. "I can't even believe it! I wonder if he thinks I'm-"

He kept talking, but more to himself than Cloud, and the smaller cadet quickly zoned it out as he focused on his now cold drink. Was Zack actually interested in Tristan or was it some kind of friendly wink? The way he treated all the cadets in class was generally a bit hands-off, like he wanted to help but wanted to be clear that was all he was doing. This just seemed strange though. Too strange to be a coincidence. Had it been a deliberate attempt to sabotage his date? His heart rate increased at the idea, but his mind quelled it. If that _were _what happened, it wasn't out of jealousy, it was out of disdain.

Suddenly the cadet was very glad his instructor had taken a few steps away from the coffee shop and was now out of sight. It was impossible to think clearly when he was looking at Zack...Somehow he knew his instructor was still around though, like he could feel his presence nearby. And it didn't help that Tristan was still rambling about the man.

Cloud bit his lip, desperately trying to think of anything else. This was all too much. He could barely cope with the problems in class, let alone whatever was happening now. At least criticism in the classroom made sense, but this just made it abundantly clear that whatever his instructor had against him was personal. For that animosity to extend beyond the classroom just didn't make sense, and if his mind and heart didn't calm down soon, he'd either cry or have some kind of mental break down.

A familiar voice filled the air, only causing the cadet to sink lower in his chair with wide eyes. How was it possible for this situation to get worse?

"Puppy, you know you aren't supposed to leave the base without your leash! Angeal would kill me if I let you wander off! And coffee? Do you not bounce in your boots enough already?"

_Please…please don't notice me,_ he thought desperately, keeping his back turned away from the SOLDIERs.

Tristan was still babbling on about Zack, and Cloud didn't even pretend to listen anymore. Instead he just plotted a way to escape without anyone noticing- or tried to anyway. It didn't seemed possible to get out of such a confined area unnoticed.

"C'mon Gen! I'm not a kid anymore. And this barely counts as leaving the base. Plus, _you _were the one who told me to embrace my fans- and look, fans!" Cloud could just imagine Zack gesturing to the girls who had been following him, and the squeals he heard only seemed a confirmation.

"That's not what I had in mind when I said embrace, and they certainly weren't female fans in my imagination," Genesis countered, causing Zack to laugh loudly. Even the fan girls seemed enthralled by this statement, whispering loudly about what it might mean. "What am I going to do with you, Puppy? I thought Angeal trained you better!"

"Angeal taught me just fine, thanks."

"Perhaps you can give me a demonstration, one on one."

"Pervert!"

"I meant we could have a little duel, but if you prefer, I'd certainly be open to whatever just passed through your mind."

"Not gonna happen, Gen," Zack insisted, laughing once more as Genesis pouted. "If it makes you feel better, I was planning to bring my coffee back with me anyway. I have a class soon."

"Yes, that- just a moment." Cloud froze. Why had Genesis paused mid-sentence? Panic gripped him as he heard footsteps approaching his table, and soon he was looking up at a very stern Commander Rhapsodos. The man's presence was just as startling every time he was nearby, even after all this time. "It _is _you, Blondie! You weren't going to say hello to me?"

He could almost feel his instructor's curious stare burning a hole in the back of his head, but he knew better than to look away from Commander Rhapsodos. Ever since the day he had met Genesis it seemed like he would run into the man several times a week, and every encounter had been as bizarre and embarrassing as the first. It seemed the commander had been as serious as he sounded about Cloud joining his fan club, and nearly every time they spoke the conversation ended with an insistent invitation to an 'official fan club meeting'. Luckily the cadet had managed to find suitable excuses to miss the meetings, but it was pretty clear Commander Rhapsodos wasn't the type to give up easily.

"I..." He wanted to lie; to say he didn't know the commander was present. Those electric blue eyes were too knowing though, as always. "I'm sorry. You were busy, so-"

Genesis dismissed the explanation with a wave of his hand and a wink. "I know, Blondie." He frowned a moment, looking the boy up and down. "Did you receive the jacket I had sent to you?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud responded slowly.

"Did it fit?"

"It did, sir. Thank you."

A dramatic sigh escaped the commander's mouth though, and his gaze narrowed. "Then _why _aren't you wearing it?"

"It's summer-"

"Fashion doesn't take note of the temperature, Blondie. You need more help than I thought. I'll have to beg Sephiroth- plead if I have to!" He raised a hand to his chin as he thought this over, nodding a moment later. "I've never been on my knees in front of him, but I'm certainly not opposed. This is an emergency!"

Cloud had no doubt in his mind that the commander was serious about this, and the idea of the general somehow getting involved in whatever odd relationship they had developed was mortifying. "That- it won't be necessary, sir. I promise, I'll wear it whenever I'm not in uniform."

"I wear mine over my uniform."

"Yes, but sir, you're…well, you're _you. _Cadets aren't allowed to-"

"Neither are SOLDIERs, but no one in their right mind would ask _me _to change. And if I say _you _can wear it, then you can. Simple as that." The commander raised a seductive hand to the boy's cheek, smiling fondly as he went red. "That shade of red really does suit your face. But, I shouldn't touch." He pulled his hand back, smirking as Cloud remained in panic mode. "Now, I have to get going. Next time I see you, I expect to see that jacket."

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed, hoping he would be so lucky as to never see the commander again. That just wouldn't happen though, and he knew it. "Have a good day, sir."

"And you have a good…date?" His eyes finally fell on Tristan, who was staring up in disbelief. "Hmm, interesting. Not bad, but not what I was imagining your type to be, Blondie." His gaze snapped back to Cloud. "Are you sure you don't like auburn hair? Something a bit less plain?"

"I…I don't know, sir."

"Well, figure it out and let _me _know!" He patted the boy on the back before strolling away without another word to the uncomfortable cadet.

Cloud didn't move or turn in his seat, still overwhelmed by a mixture of embarrassment and apprehension. He didn't need to move to listen though, and even though he was still stunned, he was determined to hear what Commander Fair would say now. Luckily it seemed like the two commanders weren't trying to be quiet.

"How do you know that cadet, Gen?"

"I didn't tell you about him? It's an interesting story, actually," Genesis began. Cloud's jaw dropped, these words shaking him free of his frozen position. He spun around in his seat, looking to Genesis with pleading eyes. The commander was staring back at him already, offering only a wink before turning back to Zack. "He's the first in his class to join my fan club! You should be nice to him."

"I'm nice to everyone," Zack responded, shrugging as his friend put an arm around him.

Their voices became distant as they walked away, but that didn't ease the anxiety Cloud felt. What would Zack think of his student being in mentor's best friend's fan club? Not that he had willingly joined, but that certainly wasn't the picture Genesis had painted for him. Would he even care? He couldn't possibly think worse of the cadet than he already did…yet…

"_I'm nice to everyone," _the words replayed in his mind. The words had been spoken with such sincerity, even Cloud believed them. Maybe his instructor didn't even _know _that the way he was acting had upset the boy. Cloud felt a surge of relief at this thought, almost too pleased to think his idol might not hate him after all.

"Cloud." Tristan was waving a hand in front of his date's face, his expression dumbfounded as Cloud snapped out of his daze. "I didn't know you were in Commander Rhapsodos' fan club."

"It was an accident, really," he explained quickly, still openly embarrassed at the thought. "I met him and he kind of…recruited me to it. You saw him- you can't say no to someone like that."

Tristan nodded in baffled agreement. "He's basically a legend around here...I don't think _anyone _would say no to him. Definitely not what I expected! I thought he'd be a lot more...I don't know. Serious."

"He definitely wasn't joking about anything he said," Cloud muttered, sighing at the thought.

"Yeah, but the stories about him! Hell, if I weren't ready to go join Zack's fans, I might go sign up for his with you. Did you see it? The way Zack winked at me?"

Back to this subject…His date when on another rant about Zack, somehow finding new ways to describe his sudden love and admiration of the man before circling back to the things he had already mentioned earlier. Cloud wasn't entirely sure how dates were supposed to go, but this certainly wasn't what he would have expected...He resolved quickly not to put himself in this situation again, no matter how awkward it might be to say no to someone. Luckily he sincerely doubted anyone else was interested anyway, and with Tristan so thoroughly distracted, it seemed no one would be asking him again any time soon.

* * *

**A/N:**

Just FYI, I know people don't always like original characters much – there won't be any regular OC's making appearances from here on out (aside from maybe Cloud's roommate popping up here and there). I just needed to show you Zack's behaviors/attitude toward Cloud extend beyond the classroom, and also show a glimpse of what other cadets think of Zack (and let Cloud talk about it too). So, if OC's are your thing, don't worry - and if they are...none will be a major focus in this story unfortunately.

Thanks for reading, and all the support ^.^


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Having a short attention span was definitely a problem, Zack realized, his face flushed and heart beating a bit too fast as he eyed his class.

_Awkward..._

He balled his hand into a fist, irritated with himself. His mind had strayed too far this time, delving into thoughts he normally only allowed when he was alone- thoughts of his desires that he was in no position to take care of during class. What was worse, there had been an unwanted guest in his mind this time. It definitely wasn't the right time or place to have such intimate thoughts, but there _was _no time or place for anyone other than Angeal to be on his mind like that. Especially not Cadet Strife.

The students were taking their time pairing off, and something about the feel of the blond cadet's stare had made him uncomfortable. It wasn't the typical stare filled with longing or despair; it was almost uneasy this time, and it didn't feel right. Rather than contemplate why, it seemed easier to allow his mind to wander- and when that happened, it almost always wandered to Angeal.

Usually those private fantasies were saved for his dreams though, or at least the quiet moments alone in Angeal's apartment when he was watering his mentor's plants in his absence. The fantasies always seemed more real there somehow, perhaps because the man's scent still lingered in the air of the apartment they once shared. These thoughts certainly had no place in the training room, and he frowned as he wondered what had prompted them here...

It was common knowledge that he had a short attention span, and over the years it had been paired with a particularly vivid imagination. Usually he had _some _control over it, but his emotions had been entirely out of whack since Angeal had left. Maybe it wasn't so strange that it could wander so far even in the classroom.

Why the blond had invaded his daydreams, that was another issue entirely. He could barely stand to look at the kid, let alone harbor any desire for him. If anything it only irritated him further, forcing him to remind himself why the boy annoyed him so much. Strife had no business being in his class- or in the program even. Things definitely were not going according to plan with the kid.

Originally he had resolved to simply ignore the boy after making his position clear during the couple weeks. Now though? His glare had become involuntary and comments habitual. Any time an opportunity presented itself, he would take it- in and out of the classroom. As long as no lines were crossed, it was fine- even if it weren't how he had planned to handle the situation. The boy hadn't broken down in tears or confronted him yet, so obviously the line was still intact.

_Focus, _he scolded himself, drawing on his willpower to think about the task at hand instead.

The class still hadn't finished branching off into pairs, and most the students were bickering with one another about who to choose. One group in particular caught his attention though, as he heard a repeated statement.

"I was hoping I could be your partner today, Strife."

Zack arched an eyebrow, captivated by this exchange. He quickly pretended to be scanning the entire classroom, though he remained fixated on the cadets surrounding the blond. That was the sixth cadet who had volunteered to be Strife's partner. Why? It seemed strange when after nearly two months of classes it was clear that the boy was floundering. Today was their first day with swords, and he expected no better from the cadet. Did they feel sorry for him or was it something else? Most of the cadets seemed to dislike the boy even more than _he _did, often laughing at his frequent failures and missteps.

"Wait, I thought you said you'd pair with _me _today!"

"Um, it's okay. I can pair with one of you today and then the other tomorrow."

"Who gets you today then?"

Cloud shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "Look, I'm just as happy to pair with Nerro if you guys-"

"No! It's okay. Philips can have today and I'll just wait till tomorrow. Don't forget though!"

Finally he couldn't contain his curiosity. All the instructors did it, but it was something he had tried not to…It seemed unethical almost, to intrude on the students' private conversations. He was a SOLDIER though, and with mako-infused hearing, it was only too easy to hear their hushed whispers when he wanted.

_"It's not fair. You guys have him blocked off for the whole week!"_

_"You're one to talk- you got him yesterday!"_

_"Yeah, but Zack barely showed any interest. You know today will be the most hands on- it's sword training, and that's his specialty."_

_"Kinda messed up we have to pair with the worst kid in the class just to try to get some extra attention."_

_"I don't mind. I'd do anything to get those arms around me."_

_"Shut up! If Nerro hears you, he'll tell Strife and blow it for all of us."_

His jaw nearly dropped as he processed the cadets' words. They wanted to pair with Strife so that _he _would give them more attention? The SOLDIER in him was outraged by this- they were in this program to _train, _not to form delusions about their instructors. Another part of him felt guilty for potentially creating this situation, but just for a moment as he thought back on the last few weeks of training. It was true, he did tend to help whoever Strife was working with _first_, but he always continued to help the rest of the class as well. And he always maintained the same, safe distance from the students as he helped them...didn't he? An arm's length away, always.

So why would the blond's classmates feel that way?

Those big blue eyes seemed oblivious to his classmates' whispers; he just looked embarrassed from all the attention he was receiving. Zack couldn't help but wonder how things might have been under different circumstances. Perhaps he would have been glad to help the boy- to give him the extra attention he obviously needed to stay afloat in the program. He tried his best to help the other few students who weren't really grasping basic combat skills, but Strife would always be different. There was nothing he could do to change the circumstances or look at him like the rest of his classmates.

_Angeal,_ he thought, his mind running back its safe place. Angeal would have known what to do; he always gave the best advice, even if it would be awkward to ask about this particular situation. He closed his eyes, allowing the feel of those big arms encompassing him to feel real for just a moment, but not long enough to let his mind wander far away again. Everything would work itself out somehow. As his eyes opened, focus resumed, and he was ready.

"Show me what you've got!" he exclaimed, bouncing a bit as he looked to his class.

Everyone had finally paired off, and it seemed they were used to his beginning routine; establish a base line and work up from there. Most were clumsy with their swords, the same way they had been with hand-to-hand and gun training. As with those though, there were one or two cadets who seemed to have a higher capacity than the rest without any solid training yet. What surprised him was, one of those cadets was the little blond. He raised both brows, unable to look away as the boy disarmed Philips.

_There's a first,_he thought, trying his best not to look as impressed as he felt. Scrawniest kid in the class beating someone who was usually one of the best with ease. He wasn't just okay, he was good...Zack found himself offering Philips a hand though, before it even registered in his head what he was doing. Strife was staring again, as always, though by now the boy knew exactly what to expect.

"Okay, not bad. I want you try this stance though."

_What am I doing?_

The doubt began knocking on his conscience, but it was too late. He was already behind Philips, adjusting his stance and pulling his arms into a better striking position. He almost always tried to stand back when he helped his students, yet here he was, closer than he would have liked- and why? Was this how he always treated Strife's partner for the day?

_Oh. _Suddenly his memory was coming back to him, accurately this time. That stare...it always drove him to do inexplicable things. Perhaps the students' hushed words held a hint of truth after all.

Was this grudge really worth it?

It was too late to change his mind though. He stepped back, giving the pair a nod to begin again. The blond had watched them carefully and attempted to mimic the stance. Even with the adjustment he managed to disarm Philips, looking a bit stunned himself. This never happened. Usually Zack would congratulate the student who succeeded, but instead he moved on to the next pair, this time keeping his distance a bit as he began coaching them on how to stand.

"Um, Commander Fair?"

He looked to the boy who spoke, giving a nod. "What's up?"

"Do you do one-on-one training in your specialty? A lot of the instructors do, and I thought since we were working with swords, you might-"

His hand went to the back of his neck as he contemplated this. "Ah, I don't know. I didn't think about it, you know me." A few students laughed at this, but their eyes seemed to settle on him afterward, waiting for a solid answer. They were right. Usually the instructors _did _do some one-on-one training with at least one student who showed promise in whatever they were teaching. It wasn't anything like the full mentorship he had received from Angeal, but it was a supplement since the courses covered so much material in such a short amount of time. Lazard had told him about this, but he had completely forgotten. "I guess so. Sure! Someone would have to really stand out though, so good luck trying to catch my eye."

The words had left his lips before he really realized what it would mean. If he were going to be training the best in the room with sword combat, right now that'd be the blond runt…His eyes flickered back to Strife and Philips, and he frowned. He was getting a bit better with every attempt, and it was too obvious to deny. Even a novice who knew nothing about combat would be able to tell. How could he go about justifying picking someone else?

There seemed to be a renewed vigor in the room after his words though. Suddenly all the cadets were working twice as hard, and as he began assisting more and more of them, there was distinct improvement. Perhaps someone else would rise to the challenge.

* * *

o.o.o.o.o

* * *

Genesis tapped his feet impatiently, wondering how long it would take the general to acknowledge him this time. Just because he _occasionally _barged in without permission didn't mean he should be ignored for so long…The general seemed oblivious to this though, intently reading the reports in front of him. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, he looked up, shaking his head before Genesis could speak.

"You haven't even heard what I have to say."

The general shook his head again though. "You've come here three times a week since he's been gone, each time with the same request. No."

"But he's been gone all this time and nothing is happening! You sent him away for no reason. Now call him back," Genesis whined, jumping to his feet and pacing a bit. He was restless, anxious even- he hated being apart from Angeal for so long, and the general knew this. The two old friends were on separate assignments often enough, but never for such an extended period of time. "Please, Seph."

"The terms of his assignment state that he will not return until-"

He stopped in his tracks, looking to the general with the saddest face he could manage. Anyone else would have agreed to anything he said with this expression, though he knew the general wasn't quite so easily swayed. "I know, but _why_? You miss him too."

"I do not deny it, but that hardly justifies ending the mission early."

The two friends stared at each other for a long moment, Genesis openly glaring while Sephiroth remained as neutral as always.

"I think you like how often I've been bothering you, and that's why you keep saying no," Genesis declared, smirking as the general shook his head without amusement. "Can I have some leave at least? I'll just go visit for a couple weeks."

"Do you not have enough time between assignments?" Sephiroth responded, not understanding the request. "1st Classes are too few to allow for extended personal leave. You know this."

"It's not like I'm doing much here anyway. I haven't had a challenging assignments for months- since before Angeal left."

Sephiroth studied the redhead for a long moment. "Do you truly wish to leave so badly?"

The words didn't strike Genesis as hard as the uncharacteristically soft tone. "Seph..." He paused, waiting for some kind of elaboration, but it seemed that was all the general intended to say on the subject. "How about I fight you for it?" he offered, pleased to see a hint of amusement in the general's eyes. Words could only get him so far in these situations, but the general rarely turned down a challenge. "If I win, you let me go to Wutai for two weeks!"

"And if I win, you stop asking about this and stop entering my office without knocking first."

He narrowed his gaze. "I'll agree to your terms- but the knocking bit, I'll only stop doing that for a month. Deal?"

"Only if you wait for permission to enter after you have knocked."

"Don't push it, Seph!"

Another smile emerged on his friend's face. "The stakes should not bother you if you are confident in your victory. Do you wish to use the VR, or-"

"Let's go scare whoever's in the gym! It'll be much more fun."

Sephiroth nodded his head in agreement. "It _has_ been too long since I sufficiently demonstrated my skills in front of an audience."

"Plus, I want everyone to see me beat the great General Sephiroth!"

The general smirked, looking to his friend from the corner of his eyes as he retrieved something from his desk. A moment later he tossed an object to Genesis, holding one in his own hand as well.

Genesis stared at the object, intrigued. "Full Cure? Do you really think that's necessary?"

The general nodded before slotting it. "If you intend to beat me, then yes. I assure you, I will not go down so easily."

They exited the office together, Sephiroth's brisk stride easily matching Genesis' eager pace. It was probably pointless to try to duel the general, but he could always hope. Beating Sephiroth had become something of a lifelong dream now. If nothing else though, it would be a good way to blow off some steam.

_Maybe the paperwork has made him sloppy_, he thought, laughing at the very idea of it.

The general had only been assigned a desk job to keep him safe and close in case of an emergency; he would never allow his skills to diminish.

"You know, my fan club is having a meeting in a few days. You should join us. We're reciting and discussing Act IV of LOVELESS," he said, smiling as Sephiroth openly dismissed this idea with a rare eye roll. "You know the whole thing too. I bet the club would love to hear the one and only Sephiroth reciting it! Oh, can you just imagine? I bet your own fan club would go nuts- we could make it a joint effort! It's not too late for me to call-"

"That will not be necessary."

"I want you to meet my Blondie though! I think I scared him enough that he'll show up for this one."

Sephiroth's neutral stare immediately flickered with an anger Genesis recognized, though he didn't raise his voice. "You were to leave the boy alone, Genesis. I told you not to bother the cadets."

Genesis just rolled his eyes, a bit tired of the general's perpetually overprotective attitude about his precious SOLDIERs and cadets- for someone who almost never interacted with them, he cared more about their well being than was reasonable at times. "He joined my fan club! And you know how fan clubs are- if anything, _he _is bothering me!" The redhead let out a long exasperated sigh. "It's such a burden being so loved by so many!"

This was not a satisfactory response though. "You started your own fan club and continue to fuel it because it feeds your ego. That is your decision and I accept it. Forcing a cadet to take part though-"

"Oh, just come and meet the boy! You'll understand, I promise. I don't know what it is, but I can't help myself when it comes to him!" He put a hand on his hip and looked to the general sternly. "Not just because he's too cute for his own good, I mean it! I've been watching him- yes, in a creepy stalker sort of way! Don't give me that look, I've been bored and that's _your _fault." Genesis didn't let up on his glare, and eventually the general's gaze softened just a bit. He might not be able to talk his way to Wutai, but he could win _this_ debate. "He has potential. I never truly wanted to take an apprentice, but I'd reconsider if you let me keep _him. _Plus, the thought of his face when you walk into the room- he'll be terrified! Even if you say no to everything else, you have to come meet him!"

"I will attend this one time, and you will not ask me again. I'll add that to the terms of our duel."

"Agreed!"

They finally arrived at their destination, the other 1st Classes clearing the area without a word as they watched the two legends take their positions across from one another. It wasn't often the two sparred publicly, and so it was always a spectacle when they did. More began to circle the area to watch, though they all seemed to know better than to stand too close.

The two friends only offered the slightest smirk to one another before their blades began to clash.

* * *

**[EDITED 2/8/15]**

Minor scene adjustment at the start of the chapter - nothing plot altering ^.^ Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Cursed; destined never to make SOLDIER. This was the only explanation- the only logical reason he was sitting as one of a dozen wearing red leather jackets and reading from a copy of LOVELESS that he had all but been forced to buy for this 'meeting'- and the only reason feline-like green eyes were repeatedly flickering in his direction. The weight of that stare sent a chill down his spine, causing him to shift uncomfortably every time he felt it.

General Sephiroth…he was probably contemplating a way to discharge the cadet from the SOLDIER candidacy program and army all at once. Cloud was the _only _cadet present, and clearly the general could tell- the way he had jumped to his feet and saluted, stumbling like a fool when he was given permission to remain at ease- and then gawking like a fan girl every time the man wasn't looking in his direction.

Sephiroth was among the reasons he had joined the program, and was definitely someone he admired; he couldn't help staring a bit. Meeting him under these circumstances ranked among the most humiliating situations in his life though. Judging by Commander Rhapsodos' amused expression and periodic snickering, this was quite intentional.

_I definitely failed if this was some kinda test, _Cloud thought, frowning to himself as he felt the burden of the generals' stare once more. He wondered how the other club members were able to stay calm under its scrutiny until he realized they were all so fixated on Genesis that they barely noticed anyone else in the room- even the general. Sephiroth didn't seem to be interested in the other members or the discussion anyway, his eyes only landing on the cadet periodically.

Why couldn't he ever just have a simple day? Go to classes, eat, study, sleep- it all sounded too pleasant to be true. That was how the last term went, and while it wasn't anything spectacular, it was a lot less stressful.

Instead he now found himself carrying his red leather jacket with him wherever he went, ready to throw it on in a hurry if he heard Genesis' distinct voice nearby. Somehow the commander had made a habit of popping up between his classes now, and it didn't help that even on days the commander didn't show up, he still had to deal with the troubles in his combat course.

He felt embarrassed just thinking of his class that day, remembering how he had so foolishly worked up the courage to say something...To try to reach out to Commander Fair in a respectful manner after class. That hadn't been his brightest idea. The entire class was a blur, as he had spent most of it berating himself to at least _try _talking to Zack, especially when it finally felt like he wasn't a complete combat failure. It seemed he would never see eye to eye with the man though, and all he had learned was that maybe it was time to give up his delusions.

_"Um, sir, I was wondering if you have a minute?"_

_Zack stared at the boy, his arms crossed and expression stern. "What can I do for you, Strife?"_

_"Well, I was thinking about what you said about one-on-one training, and I could really use your help." His eyes were almost pleading as he shifted nervously before his idol, disappointed to see the man refuse to maintain eye contact again. "Please, sir."_

_He inhaled a deep breath, shaking his head as he exhaled. "Look, kid, it's not that you're doing terrible like with hand-to-hand, but I'm not sure you're cut out for this program. I can't put the time into doing one-on-one if you can't even get the basics down. Being a SOLDIER isn't for everyone. It's probably not to late to drop out entirely- there must be a dozen career fields you'd be better suited for."_

_Cloud stood there, stunned._

_Was that suggestion supposed to be helpful? He had no interest in another career field. And the tone it had been spoken in...it wasn't harsh, but it hadn't held even the slightest bit of compassion._

_For the first time since Commander Fair had been his instructor, he felt nothing but resentment toward the man. Overlooking his behavior and flaws had become a habit, but this offended the boy on a different level. The SOLDIER knew nothing about him or why he wanted to join this program- he knew nothing about how well he did in every other course. Who was he to make such a judgment based off a couple months of classes? Especially when he all but ignored the cadet when he wasn't being insulting? Combat was certainly the most important class for a SOLDIER, but surely his instructor should _try _to help before giving up on a student entirely._

_How was this man someone he had chosen to idolize?_

_With sword training, it seemed like he might actually excel...and most SOLDIERs preferred to use swords. If he could master this, he didn't need to be great at the rest. He had paired with 5 different cadets over the last few days in a series of tests and demonstrations, beating them all despite the SOLDIER offering them hushed tips._

_Inside he was ready to snap; to yell these thoughts at his instructor and demand he take back his previous statement. Zack's stare had fallen to the distance though, and he knew the conversation was over. His instructor had brushed past him without another word or glance, leaving him to fight it out with himself again._

The memory stung almost as much as the exchange had originally. Any lingering feelings of desire he felt about his instructor faded in that moment, crushed along with his hopes of improving this term.

He'd just have to tough out and pray for a different instructor next time.

"We took a vote, and surely _you're _the gift of the Goddess, Genesis."

These words snapped Cloud from his trance, and he found himself staring at the boy who spoke in disbelief. He was still fairly new to the 'club' and mostly indifferent about LOVELESS...but surely anyone would agree a statement like that was a _bit _ridiculous. Commander Rhapsodos looked thoroughly pleased though, and he began chatting away with his loyal fan club members as the 'meeting' came to a close. Members began trickling out, looking back to Genesis with a disturbing amount of longing in their eyes- a few even dared to eye Sephiroth, who remained content ignoring them all.

Cloud wanted to escape with the other members- with his jacket he could almost sneak out incognito, if not for his easily identifiable hair and stature. Then he could hide in his room and forget this ever happened, at least until the next time Genesis pounced on him in public and coerced him into attending another.

Unfortunately he had been instructed to wait after the meeting, the moment he had walked in the door. Again his thoughts fell to the general- surely he was asked to stay because he was about to be tossed out, an embarrassment to the candidacy program. His life's ambition, ruined because he didn't have the backbone to decline Commander Rhapsodos' repeated requests...or maybe Commander Fair had been right all along; being a pushover was just more proof he wasn't cut out for this program.

"So which way did _you_ vote, Blondie?" Electric blue eyes were locked on him, and the commander smirked openly as he took a seat near the boy. "Am I truly the gift of the Goddess?"

"I think that's subjective, sir," Cloud replied hesitantly, praying his answer was vague enough to not offend the commander.

An unfamiliar sound filled his ears, and his eyes fell on the general. Sephiroth had laughed at his comment, and to his own astonishment, seemed to be smiling in his direction.

"I see what you mean about the boy, Genesis." He rose to his feet, prompting Cloud to do the same. Before he could get to attention and salute once more, the general waved a dismissive hand. "I believe you have been put through enough this evening."

"Please don't discharge me, sir," the words were blurted out of his mouth before he could bite them back.

The general seemed intrigued by this statement. "Have you committed an offence of some kind?"

"No, but…I thought being here, you might-"

"Foolish though it may be, joining a fan club does not violate any policy, and you are not the only cadet to do so. You are simply the only one to join _this _fan club, as I have instructed Commander Rhapsodos on numerous occasions not to bother any cadets." His stare fell to Genesis who was unsuccessfully trying to hold back his own laughter. "Now, I believe there was more you wished to discuss about the boy?"

Genesis' laughter ceased and he arched an eyebrow, surprised by his friend's words. "Truly?"

"Yes. I have met the boy as you requested, and I understand now. This is the one- top marks in all his courses aside from combat. The file was flagged after the last term as a contender."

Cloud's eyes were wide at these words. A contender? He wasn't sure what they were discussing, but hearing that Sephiroth knew who he was before this meeting, or at least had read his file, was a bit exciting.

Suspicion filled the commander's eyes. "Why are you suddenly open to it though?"

"As I said, I have met him now and the information from his file makes sense." He turned to Cloud again, his gaze so heavy that the boy took an involuntary step back, cursing himself as he stumbled once more. Luckily the general seemed somewhat amused by this, though not nearly as much as Genesis. "Cadet, the reason you do not excel in combat is that you lack confidence and are easily intimidated by fools like Commander Rhapsodos. While this is not the characteristic of a SOLDIER, it is something we can fix. Who is your combat instructor?"

"Commander Fair," the boy responded hesitantly.

If he knew Sephiroth better, he might have noticed the surprised expression on his face- it seemed neutral to him though, the same as it had been before. His heart was racing anxiously as he tried to grasp what they were discussing, still lost. He was blatantly being scrutinized by the man now, scanned head to toe rather than passively- he wanted nothing more than to turn or look down, but something compelled him to keep his head up and stay put. Whatever was going through the general's mind seemed dependent on this assessment, and Cloud just hoped it wasn't anything too bad.

Finally Sephiroth nodded, his eyes meeting the boy's again. "Commander Rhapsodos has expressed an interest in becoming your mentor. Usually I would not even consider him as a potential mentor, but perhaps his erratic behavior would be beneficial to a student like you. As your current marks are, none of this is possible; however, if you can raise your combat level, this would be something to consider. Find your confidence."

Cloud's jaw dropped slightly. This was big news, and definitely not what he expected. He wasn't even sure if they were being serious, but was leaning toward disbelief. There was a good chance Commander Rhapsodos just wanted to see what he'd say or do, or maybe he just wanted to see that stunned expression that he liked so much. Mission accomplished if that were the goal.

General Sephiroth didn't seem like the type to joke around with cadets though...

"I'm bored _now, _Seph. I might not be bored next term," Genesis argued, looking a bit like he hadn't quite processed the general's words either.

The general's gaze shifted to his friend, quickly turning into a hard stare. "A mentorship is a bond between apprentice and mentor that binds them until the student achieves the rank of 1st Class. Even when a mentor and apprentice are no longer bound by such titles, most still consider themselves in that role indefinitely, despite being of equal rank. Perhaps you should have considered this before you mentioned it. You have seen this first hand with Commanders Hewley and Fair."

"Hmm, well, when you say it about them it doesn't sound like such a commitment. And I do like my Blondie." He regarded the cadet with a warm smile. "Why don't we do some training then? I'll get you ready to show Puppy the kind of marks you deserve, and maybe then he'll do some one-on-one with you until the term ends. By then you should qualify, and we can talk more about this."

"Um…training? With you?" Cloud squeaked, his heart racing at the idea.

Those words were the confirmation he needed; this was real. It wasn't some weird joke or tease like he might normally expect from Commander Rhapsodos. He had some concept of what it meant to have a mentor, but it had never registered as a possibility to him. Training with someone like this seemed even less likely...There were stories about the man's combat prowess, second only to Sephiroth...what could someone like _that _possibly see in someone like him?

Was he supposed to feel honored or terrified? The boy definitely felt both piling on top of his nerves. Commander Rhapsodos still completely overwhelmed him on most days; the idea of working with him regularly was alarming. Yet only a few cadets were ever selected for mentorship, and they almost always got their promotion to SOLDIER 3rd Class shortly after. If training with Genesis could help his grades, improve his skills, _and _get him approved for mentorship...it didn't even seem possible, but he'd be a fool not to try.

"Don't look so scared! Didn't the general just tell you find your confidence? Trust me, bad things happen when people ignore him," Genesis warned, only raising the boy's anxiety higher. As usual, the boy's stress only amused the commander as he continued, easily slipping back into his carefree demeanor. "I'm offering you a once in a lifetime opportunity here, Blondie. I don't often work with cadets thanks to a certain someone in this room and his silly notions about what's _appropriate _and what's _improper _or _harassment. _This could be fun! But there are rules if you want to work with me! No more of this 'sir' nonsense, no salutes- actually, I want you to call me Genesis. Commander sounds so stiff- so _ordinary."_

"I do not think that is appropriate-"

Genesis rolled his eyes. "See what I mean? Always about rambling about what's appropriate." The general scowled as the commander turned to him. "Hush, Seph, you won't be there and the boy will remember that nonsense when you're around, I'm sure. Right, Blondie?"

"Yes, sir."

"See? He's already got that part down. And you _will _wear that leather jacket with pride! No more dropping your books and hurrying to put it on in the halls when you hear me coming. Don't think I didn't notice- why do you think I started saying hello to other cadets? I'm not interested in any of them, I was trying to give you a warning that I was coming."

"Cadet, even if he tries to tell you otherwise, you are under no obligation to attend these horrid meetings. If he tries to force you to attend, feel free to stop by my office and let me know. I will handle it." A standard phone ring emitted from the general's jacket, and he quickly pulled out his cellphone and answered. "Yes…Understood." He looked to Genesis after the call ended, shaking his head. "I must go."

Genesis frowned. "News from Wutai?"

"No. That was Director Lazard. I am needed in his office quite urgently."

"I'll bet. Hopefully he's naked and ready when you get there." Cloud wasn't aware he could feel any more surprised than he already did until he heard Genesis say _that _to the general. Immediately he recognized a change in Sephiroth's presence; his expression barely shifted, but he was _definitely _angry with his friend. The boy averted his gaze in a hurry as Genesis threw his hands up, muttering a quick apology. "Just let me know if it turns out to be an actual emergency. If anything happened in Wutai, I'm going."

"You lost," the general reminded him, a smirk curling the edge of his mouth.

"Barely! And I agreed I'd stop _asking_ to go. But if something happened, I won't be asking anymore- I'll just be going."

"If anything serious happened I would send you. There is no need for you to be concerned though. Angeal can take care of himself."

Genesis let out a long sigh, not bothering to reply as his friend abruptly turned and exited the room. After a moment he looked to Cloud, amused by his still shocked expression.

"Seph has that effect on all the boys. You actually made that face when we first met, too. I kind of miss it- I have to try so much harder to get you to look like that now," the commander pouted, smirking as the boy looked down. He was trying so hard not to look embarrassed or shocked or anything at all, but it still wasn't working. "So, what do you really think? I'm not so into the serious chats like the general, but that was a lot he just unloaded on you."

"I think it would be amazing," Cloud confessed, looking a bit hesitant as he met Genesis' gaze. For some reason it felt easier to open up to him now though. He had been so skeptical and paranoid about the commander's behavior that he never considered that the man might actually be trying to help. Not only that, apparently he had gone out of his way to make it happen, and that was something Cloud had never experienced. Even in the classes where he did well he was overlooked, the lost runt in the corner. "I'll probably just disappoint you though."

"How can you be so sure?"

"There's a reason my marks are low. Even when I think I'm doing well, I get told that I don't even understand the basics."

"Who told you that?"

"Commander Fair."

Again Genesis arched an eyebrow. "I really ought to have a chat with the puppy. It's not like him to say things like that."

"Sir- I mean, Genesis. Please! I want to handle those issues myself," Cloud asserted, his determination rising. If someone like the commander could believe in him, perhaps he could find _some _confidence of his own. "Maybe if we did train I could get all that down and show him that I'm not a failure."

"Puppy called you a failure?" The disbelief was apparent in his tone, though his expression was sympathetic.

"Not with that exact word. He just doesn't think I belong in this program. If I could find a way to prove him wrong…I'd work as hard as I can, sir! I mean, Genesis," he corrected himself again, letting out a short sigh. Genesis rose to his feet, reaching out to put an arm around the boy as he thought over everything that had been said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even said anything. I know he's your best friend's apprentice."

"He's more than that. Puppy is a pet to the entire 1st Class. Everyone loves him, myself included. Even Seph isn't immune! I can see that you aren't lying, but it's just strange that-" He cut himself off, frowning. "Maybe it's _not _so strange. I might know what's going on, but if you truly want to work it out yourself, that's fine. I'm not your mentor yet, so I won't press the matter. Why don't you meet me at the entrance of the 1st Class gym tomorrow morning before classes? We'll do a trial run, see how it goes between us."

A surge of relief and energy pulsed through Cloud out of nowhere, and to both their surprise, his arms wrapped around Genesis happily. The commander laughed softly, wrapping his other arm around the boy as well. There was something comforting about this simple gesture- something natural that they both felt; it was pleasant, and warm. These certainly weren't the words he would have chosen to describe anything about Genesis until that moment, but it just made sense somehow.

Cloud pulled back a bit, his face a bit red as he realized what he had done. Genesis didn't let go though, instead he looked down at the boy patiently as he tried to figure out what to say. "Um. Do I really have to wear the jacket _everywhere? _I'm not sure if red is really my color."

Genesis smirked, his eyes dancing. "It looks good on you!" As the boy frowned, the SOLDIER let out a short sigh. "Fine! Just wear it for training, and I won't bother you about it otherwise. While we're training, you're _mine_, and I want everyone to know it."

_Mine. _Cloud couldn't even bring himself to be embarrassed by this; it was too exciting. "Okay!"

The commander released the boy, patting his spiky locks with a wink as the boy beamed up at him. It was the happiest Cloud had been in all their many run ins, and though Genesis was always entertained during those encounters, it seemed like this was the happiest he had been as well.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus, and take to the sky." Genesis looked serene as he spoke, and though Cloud wasn't exactly sure what he was implying, it seemed like nothing could ruin his good mood. "Go on! You'll need to get some rest if you want to impress me tomorrow."

The boy scurried away with these words, only turning back once to wave. Part of him was waiting for the commander to tell him to stop- to say he changed his mind about the whole thing. Those words never came though.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

The sight of his Angeal's room filled him, reminding him of the loneliness he felt in his mentor's absence.

Somehow he'd found himself dozing off on his mentor's bed, comfortably distracted from the real reason he'd stopped by. There was too much weighing on his mind, and something about the safety and familiarity of Angeal's apartment helped him relax. He hadn't intended to fall asleep, but it wasn't entirely shocking that he had.

Dreams had fallen so far out of his control that he dreaded them now, to the point where he was avoiding sleep entirely when he could. SOLDIERs didn't require as much sleep as unenhanced, but he was pushing it. It seemed like Angeal's apartment was the only place where his mind could stay focused on the person he wanted it to. Whatever he felt for his mentor was still a mystery, but until he was sure, it was unacceptable for his mind to wander- particularly in the case of the blond cadet that he could no longer escape.

No matter how much he avoided sleep, he still couldn't prevent all the daydreams. It was to the point where he had no choice but to acknowledge that perhaps there was some degree of physical attraction he felt toward the cadet, no matter how much he didn't want to feel it. During the last few weeks or so the boy had brightened so much- it was impossible not to notice, even if he never really looked. The cadet had been smiling and dripping with a new found confidence, presumably from his astonishing progress during sword training. It seemed like nothing could faze Strife now, not even his typical strategies to put the boy in his place.

And there was that moment…he had given the boy his best glare, only to have the boy meet his gaze and smile broadly in response…That was the first day that he had actually broken and smiled back. How could anyone not? There was no reason for the kid to look so happy, and it was practically infectious to witness. It had been a weak smile, but the way the boy beamed after made it clear he had noticed.

His heart jumped at the memory, and he cursed himself for allowing it to resurface. The thought alone made him feel guilty. Angeal's apartment was supposed to be sanctuary, safe from thoughts of the cadet. With a deep breath he took in the familiarity of his surroundings once more and exhaled every unwanted notion.

Part of him wanted to stay there all day, but he had prepare for class still. He forced himself to sit up before rising to his feet with a long sigh. It wouldn't be _that _much longer until Angeal returned, and then he wouldn't have to resort to moping around the man's apartment.

As he exited the bedroom, his eyes fell to the plants by the window- the real reason for his visit…Who'd have thought such a big, brutish SOLDIER would be so into plants and nature? It was just another quality to admire in his mentor.

Zack opened the windows before moving to water them, aware of the sound of footsteps outside the apartment door. When he heard someone pressing in codes to enter though, he frowned. There were only a few people who had the codes to get into Angeal's apartment, and no one else would have a reason while he was gone.

The door swung open a moment later, piercing blue eyes glaring at him. "Aha!"

Zack just rolled his eyes as he continued watering the plants, not concerned by Genesis' crossed arms or keen stare. "What're you doing here?" he asked after a moment, continuing his project without delay.

Genesis scoffed at the oblivious response, shaking his head with disappointment. "I've been trying to catch the fool who's been watering these plants while Angeal's been gone. I should have known it'd be you, but I thought you liked me enough that maybe you wouldn't. Shame on you, Puppy!"

"He _asked _me to water them- probably because he knew you wouldn't," the younger man explained, laughing at the scowl he received in response.

"Plants attract _bugs,_ Puppy. No one wants bugs in their apartment, not even Angeal." He moved closer and tried to grab the water from Zack, but it was too late; the task was complete. He watched Genesis eyeing the plants, familiar with the mischievous look in the man's eyes. Usually that look didn't lead anywhere good. "I could just toss them out the window, accidentally."

"He might not forgive you," Zack reminded him with a smirk.

"Angeal will _always_ forgive me. I've been tampering with his plants for years now! This time he's gone, so he'd have no proof it was me. Plus, I'm usually much more creative- dropping them from a window isn't my style. I can get away with this unless you betray me, and you wouldn't dare."

"Um, only you, me, and Seph have the codes to get in here. Obviously I wouldn't, and as funny as it'd be for you to try to blame it on Seph…I'm pretty sure Angeal's smart enough to figure out who it really was."

"You have too much faith in your mentor. I'm sure I could convince him it was Lieutenant Marks or Tibbs. He never did like them much." Genesis put a hand to his chin as he pondered this, nodding a moment later. "Yes, that would definitely work! I just need _you _to keep it to yourself."

Zack laughed again as he shook his head. "You know I'm not good at lying, even if I wanted to- which I don't. And I'd never lie to Angeal, not even for you."

Genesis looked to the boy from the corner of his eye, moving to Angeal's couch and gesturing for him to follow. Zack did so willingly, reminded briefly of the days the three of them used to hang out after training not so long ago. It had been some of the best years of his life, and the nostalgia only made Angeal's absence more noticeable. He let out a strained breath, hoping Genesis didn't notice. They had an unspoken agreement not to discuss missing their mutual friend, knowing it was somewhat of a sore subject for one another.

"Would you lie to me, Puppy?"

"No, Gen, I just won't throw plants out the window for you. Not Angeal's anyway- _maybe_ someone else's," he replied, smiling broadly at the notion. He had heard a lot of Genesis' weird ideas over the years, and participated in quite a few- still though, he always wondered how the man came up with some of his schemes. There was no doubt in his mind that if Genesis said he could toss them out and convince Angeal it was Lieutenant Marks or Tibbs, he _really _could succeed. The amusement had faded from the elder SOLDIER's face though, and Zack frowned as he noticed. "Why? Is something wrong?"

Genesis studied the younger man closely, his eyes narrow but not harsh. "You look a bit pale."

Zack paused a moment, though he wasn't surprised by his friend's observation. "I'm fine, I just didn't get enough sleep last night," he explained, hoping not to elaborate. The redhead looked skeptical though, and he knew another question was inevitable if he didn't say more. "I'm not comfortable in my new place still. I wish they'd just let me stay here instead, at least till after Angeal's back."

It wasn't entirely untrue, but he did feel a bit guilty for holding back the other reasons from his old friend. Explaining what was going on in his mind and heart seemed complicated though, especially when _he _hadn't sorted it all out yet.

Luckily the redhead seemed satisfied with his response. "ShinRa can be insistent about things like that. They care more about how it reflects on them; if you decline your rank bonus, it's not really a good incentive, is it?"

Zack nodded in understanding, though it didn't make him accept the explanation. "Increased pay was enough for me. I didn't really mind staying with Angeal."

Genesis studied the younger man carefully, noting his uncomfortable shift on the couch. "I need to discuss something with you, Zack. It's important"

It was a bit unsettling to sit under Genesis' serious gaze, but from his past experiences he knew that even though the man was a _bit _ridiculous, he could also be very profound when a situation required it. Some of the best advice he had ever received came from the man, ranging from added combat tips to hairstyles- anything Angeal had ever taught him was supplemented with just a bit of finesse from their amusing friend. He offered the man his full attention, patiently waiting to hear whatever it was his friend wanted to offer today.

After a long pause, finally he spoke, not a trace of humor to be found on his face. "You are _not_ in love with Angeal."

"What?" Zack's eyes went wide, stunned by this sudden statement as he leaped to his feet to pace. "Why would you say that? Or even _think_ that?"

The elder SOLDIER watched his every step curiously. It wasn't often the younger SOLDIER sounded so anxious- it seemed like confirmation that his assumptions had been correct. "You don't need to worry about it. I understand why you might think you love him, and I certainly don't fault you for it. Love is a complicated thing though. Sometimes you can love someone without truly being in love with them. You do love Angeal, but as a mentor. A friend. A protector. Someone who guided you and kept you safe when you needed it. There is a difference-"

"You don't know the first thing about how I feel," Zack interjected, halting in his tracks but still not facing his friend. "What I feel for Angeal is none of you or anyone else's business."

"It used to bother you when people would speculate about what went on behind closed doors. You were young and impressionable. He was older and knowledgeable- handsome and charming in his own way. It was natural for people to make assumptions. You used to get so angry at the very idea of it, but Angeal-"

"Would always stay calm and tell me that it didn't matter." His tense expression lightened at the memory, and he couldn't help but smile weakly despite the frustration he felt from the conversation. The comfort from the memory seemed to reassure him just enough that he found the confidence to turn and face Genesis, their eyes meeting as he continued. "He said that we knew what was really happening, and they would forget in time."

Genesis nodded his head slowly. "A few birthdays and promotions rolled by and you suddenly stopped caring about the rumors. It became a joke between you two rather than cause for concern. The speculation grew less and less…until it just became an occasional whisper instead of a daily nuisance."

"Why're you bringing all this up?" Zack asked, a hand on his neck as he forced himself to maintain eye contact.

"Because I worry about you, Puppy. When you're out of line and Angeal isn't here to notice, I have a responsibility to tell you, even if I don't like doing it. That day…it was part of the joke. You know he was just teasing, don't you?"

"What day?"

"In the courtyard, with Blondie. Angeal didn't mean it."

Zack could feel the way his heart rate increased, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. "What does Cloud have to do with this?"

"Everything. You're his instructor! Why are you shunning him, if not because you took what Angeal said that day to heart? You're too friendly to treat anyone that way otherwise. I connected the dots, and when Angeal is back and hears about this, so will he. And he'll tell you what I'm telling you. You are not in love with him and he is not in love with you."

"How can you be so sure?"

Genesis rose to his feet, putting a firm hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I may flirt, tease, and occasionally grab things that I shouldn't…but the truth is, I know a great deal about love. You'll find what you're looking for, Puppy. He's just not the one."

Zack didn't move from where he stood. Instead he balled his fists as Genesis rubbed his back, trying not to tremble as the emotions tore through his body. What he felt for Angeal was definitely real; he couldn't put a word to it, but he knew it was there, like it had always been a part of him. Was it love? Maybe, maybe not. Being told what it was didn't change the feelings or questions that lingered.

"You know I have to find out for myself."

Genesis pulled back, offering a weak yet reassuring smile. "I do…I just hope you aren't too disappointed when that day comes."

"What aren't you telling me? There must be a reason you're so sure."

"It's not my place to say. Enough questions! Go be nice to my Blondie! He doesn't deserve to be shunned by you."

"I didn't _want _to treat him differently, it's just...hard to see him every day," Zack admitted, relieved that he no longer needed to ignore or deny it completely. Genesis didn't know everything, but he knew enough. The entire situation had been tugging at the younger SOLDIER's conscience for so long that it was threatening to consume him; maybe getting it out in the open would be the solution he needed. At least Genesis had a mild understanding of his behavior, which eased the burden he felt in his confession. "How do you even know about what happens with me and him? I thought you weren't supposed to get too close to the cadets anymore." He paused, narrowing his eyes as Genesis put on his best innocent face. "You weren't serious about that fan club thing, were you?"

"Oh, come on! Who _wouldn't _want to join my fan club?" Genesis countered, waving a dismissive hand as Zack snorted. "You know, he begged me not to say anything to you, but I don't think he understands how stubborn you can be. The truth is, I may have gotten in over my head with him, but I'm actually glad…At first it was just boredom, but it's more than that now. I thought he was adorable and amusing, and the next thing I knew, I'd convinced Seph to meet him too. Now I may end up becoming his mentor if _you _can stop being so hard on him!"

"Mentor?" he repeated, mouth agape as Genesis nodded. "That's pretty serious, Gen! It's not something you can just do on a whim. What were you thinking?"

"I know what I'm doing! Suddenly a lot of things Angeal told me over the years are making a lot more sense when I look at Blondie. And none of it will matter if you keep failing him every other lesson because he won't even qualify. You need to treat him fairly. He _deserves_ this opportunity, and I can't let you take it away over something so ridiculous," the elder SOLDIER scolded, glaring at the younger man. "I've been training with him before classes and I can already see a huge improvement. Even with your insane grudge against the boy, you can't deny it!"

"That does explain how he went from decent to startling overnight," Zack confessed, scratching the back of his head thoughtfully. "Am I really being _that _bad to him?"

Genesis paused, letting Zack ponder his own question a moment. He knew the answer, but had justified it to himself so many times…He had sworn he'd never go overboard or cross any lines, but perhaps that line was blurred by his irrational fears. Those fears paired with the frustration and embarrassment he felt from his dreams and stray thoughts were overwhelming.

Being told by someone he respected that he was out of line only illuminated the guilt he felt. Could this possibly be fixed after all this time? He could try to change his behavior, but would that didn't seem sufficient.

"Puppy! You know I can't stand it when you make the sad face," Genesis said quickly, nudging the boy until he offered a weak smile. "Sometimes our emotions get the best of us. Even SOLDIERs. Just look into those big eyes and let him win you over the same way I did. You won't regret it. He's a bit shy at first, but he's starting to open up…I think he'd do the same with you if you let him. You were his idol until very recently."

"And I suppose you are now?"

"Well, who can blame the boy? I am charming, seductive, curious, and sweet- too handsome to deny and too tempting to resist. Really, I'm surprised he hasn't already plotted his pounce on me the way you have with Angeal. I can only hope he'll know what he's asking for when that day comes!"

Zack burst into laughter, unable to control himself for a moment at the very idea of his quiet, broody cadet doing any such thing- let alone with someone like Genesis. "I actually feel sorry for the kid now, and not because anything _I've _done to him. I may even go to Seph to express my concerns!"

"You wouldn't be the first one. I think a few people already watched us training and ran right to his office…I swear, I only grabbed his butt _once _and it was only for a second, and he basically _asked _me to!"

"Right, the same way I used to ask you to," Zack guessed, nodding along.

"I knew you'd understand, Puppy! And anyway, I'm fairly certain Seph already asked the execs to have a Turk assigned to monitor the situation, so I promise I'll keep my hands to myself as much as possible, except when he asks."

"Or when he _basically _asks."

"Exactly!"

Zack stared pointedly at Genesis for a moment, but it didn't take long before his friend's fiery smirk had him laughing once more.

* * *

**[EDIT 2/8/15] **

Hmm so, this chapter got the biggest edit so far. There was a minor scene alteration at the beginning of the chapter, which lead to a tiny change in the dialogue at the early part of their conversation. Nothing plot altering though ^.^ Also, there was a short bit at the end I removed because it was mostly filler (again, not plot altering).

Thanks for reading and the support as always!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

It didn't seem possible to be entirely worn out from fighting someone who never once struck back, but Cloud found himself in that exact predicament for the third time in one week. Even the sword fell from his hand this time, too worn out to grip it any longer. He reached for it as it clattered to the ground, not ready to quit just yet, but he was a bit shakier than he realized. The sudden movement left him off balance, but before he tumbled to the ground, familiar arms were around him.

It only took a moment before he was set down carefully on the training mat, and another moment to feel a surge of energy coursing through him as a green light surrounded his body. And just like that, the green light was gone along with any soreness he had felt. He was still trembling a bit, as he always did after the energy flowed through his exhausted body- the sensation was a welcomed relief though.

Fighting until he was so tired and sore used to be alarming, but hitting that point was a part of his routine now. It was a feeling he embraced rather than feared, knowing that even in his most defenseless moments, Genesis was nearby if he pushed it _too _hard. Warm arms would always catch him before he hit the ground, and the wariness would always sent away shortly after.

Every day he fought to hit that point, and every day he pushed his limit further. His progress filled him with extra motivation during his courses too- the more he worked with Genesis, the more he could see the results of his strength and endurance training. And it felt good to be able to walk into his combat course with a smile on his face, knowing he could stand against any opponent.

Well, usually. This session had been a bit extreme, even for a highly motivated cadet, and it was clear that even after a Cure he would need to wait before pushing himself again- luckily his first class was just Tactics, and didn't entail any actual fighting. By the time he needed to exert himself, he'd likely be fine.

His eyes fluttered open as his body stopped trembling, and he smiled almost involuntarily as he looked at Genesis. "You don't have to Cure me after _every _lesson, you know."

"Yes, well, you make such a disgusted face when I try to give you potions. This is easier and you can't deny me."

"That's not what I meant. I mean maybe if you didn't heal me every time and I had to _deal _with my loss, I'd train even harder."

And it felt like a misuse of materia, really. Technically aches and pains of all kinds could be healed away, but he wasn't actually injured. That, and the fact that on day _one_ of his first term materia course, the first thing his instructor had taught the class was to be cautious trying to heal away wariness like this. It was too easy to feel a false sense rejuvenation, which could lead to an actual injury; when it came to wariness, the mind needed to catch up even if the body felt fine.

Apparently cadets in particular had been known to train too long, or skip out on sleep because of this, which was part of the reason cadets weren't authorized to have personal materia. The other reason was because cadets couldn't be trusted not to inadvertently light their dorm rooms on fire, which Genesis had been quick to mention when he dismissed Cloud's argument about being cured several weeks ago. He didn't bother bringing it up again, and the slight smirk on the SOLDIER's face now told him that his new argument was about to be dismissed as well.

"Oh? Am I supposed to just leave you collapsed on the floor and walk away to teach you a lesson? I know I'm not experienced with being a mentor, but something tells me that wouldn't be a good idea."

"Well, no, but I usually don't get this tired. Just today."

"It's because you don't know where you limit is anymore. Every day you improve, and every day you have to find it again. It won't be long until you plateau and we get into a good rhythm," the SOLDIER explained, rising to his feet gracefully before helping the boy to his feet.

"Then you'll fight back?" His voice was full of hope...He had heard so many stories about Genesis' combat, and could see bits of it in his defense- but to _actually _experience it would be something special. "I mean, I know you'll have to hold back still, but-"

"Not yet, Blondie. You'll know when the time is right," Genesis assured him, ruffling his blond locks with a wink. "I have mixed feelings about lashing out at you, especially when technically you aren't _mine_ yet."

"Yeah, but the mentor thing is just a formality, right? It won't be that different than it is now."

"It _is _different, and if I managed to hurt you before hand I'm not sure Seph would let me keep you. I'd rather not take the risk until it's too late for him to change his mind."

Cloud stared into the same electric blue eyes that used to intimidate him, finding himself held captive by them for a moment. There was a lot he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure how to say it. He was grateful for all the help Genesis was giving him, but it still felt like the commander was goofing around on most days. Really, the cadet had nothing to complain about- he was having fun, gaining confidence, and making more progress than ever before...

Maybe it was selfish to ask this man for anything else, but he wanted more. "I'm not so fragile anymore."

"I agree," the redhead said with a nod, prompting another smile from the cadet. "That doesn't change the situation."

"How am I supposed to work on my defense if you don't strike back?"

"That's what you have the puppy for! You have a class full of cadets to practice with, and none of them can actually hurt you."

"Doesn't that defeat the point? I can't learn if they can't win."

"Ha! You actually sound a bit like Seph when you say that. All that nonsense about worthy opponents...Don't become overconfident like him, Blondie. One day I'll defeat him just to prove to you that being pompous gets you nowhere."

"I didn't mean it that way! I know I'm not the best, that's why I _want _someone to beat me. And I think you're lying- if you ever beat the general, it wouldn't be to prove a point to me; it'd be so that you could brag."

"Well, the world could certainly use a new hero," Genesis agreed, smirking as the cadet chuckled. "Honestly, you probably don't even need this training anymore. Your strength and endurance has already doubled, and I'm sure your marks will improve enough for the term. In the meantime, all I'm doing is making you too tired to focus during your courses."

"But I like training with you! I can't let loose like this in class."

Genesis smiled fondly at the boy. "I enjoy this as well. That doesn't mean it's good for you."

"But if you became my mentor-"

"I would decide which courses you take, and be able to pull you from class if I wanted to train with you on a particular subject. Right now I can't do that, so instead I'm just doubling your workload and the stress on that cute little body."

"If I put the jacket back on, will you let me keep training with you?"

The redhead laughed at this, a bit surprised that the boy had grown to enjoy their lessons so much. "Last time you wore it during training you tripped on it, which would have been adorable if you didn't have a sword in your hand. I think seeing you in it on your way to and from training will suffice for now."

"I thought you wanted everyone to know though. That I was…" he cut himself off, his face red as he realized what he was saying.

"That you're mine," the SOLDIER finished, looking entirely too pleased as the blond nodded. "Trust me, they know. You're kind of oblivious to the gossip around this place, but I'm right in the center of it all. I hear everything. Right, Reno?"

Cloud looked around, wondering who Genesis was referring to. There were a few other 1st Classes in the gym, as always, but he had come to remember their names after training every morning for several weeks. It was always the same early morning crowd.

"He's right, yo!" The voice had come from above, he realized, and he looked up in awe. Sure enough, there was a vent near the ceiling, and he could almost see what appeared to be a hand waving to him between the cracks. "Good angles from up here!"

"We're done for the day, Reno," Genesis responded, rolling his eyes after hearing a disappointed sigh. "You do get all the good angles though. Same time tomorrow!"

"I'll be here!"

"He's our Turk," the SOLDIER explained before the boy could ask, shrugging as he retrieved the training sword Cloud had dropped. He swiftly moved to return it to the training rack, giving the boy a moment to grab his jacket and put it on over his uniform. Genesis offered a quick nod of approval, prompting a warm smile from his cadet as he put an arm around the boy. They began walking, Genesis selecting a slower pace than usual so the boy could keep up as they left the gym.

"So tell me, Blondie…has your favorite instructor been treating you better?"

Cloud groaned, tired of the redhead referring to Commander Fair as his 'favorite'. They had talked about Zack a few times since they started working together, and it seemed the less enthusiastic he sounded about his instructor, the more the SOLDIER teased him about the man. "Um…I guess. I mean, he hasn't done anything or said anything at all to me lately, good or bad," the cadet realized, frowning a moment. "You didn't talk to him, did you?"

"I may have," Genesis admitted, staring down as the boy glared up at him. He gave the boy's arm a firm squeeze, easily drawing out another smile. "I know you wanted to handle it yourself, but I have a responsibility to Zack as well as you. He may not have been _my _puppy, but he's a close friend still. If he's out of line, he needs to know, and with Angeal gone that responsibility falls to me."

"Isn't Commander Hewley returning soon?"

A deep sigh escaped Genesis' lips. "Never soon enough. But in terms of what you mean, yes. Next week should be his last in Wutai, and then he'll be back. Unfortunately, I have an assignment slotted the day after he returns. Actually, as soon as we get to your class, I'm off to go argue with Seph about that one."

"You don't _have _to walk me to class. You cured me already, I'm fine."

"I want to. The truth is, without you around these past few months, I would have been bored with Angeal gone. Seph has been busier than usual, and Zack has less free time as an instructor. I don't really bother with many other people, but you've been a delightful surprise. In a way, I owe you a debt."

"Will I get to meet Commander Hewley?" the cadet asked, unsure if he should feel hopeful or worried by the idea.

Commander Hewley was the only legendary SOLDIER he had yet to meet, and he couldn't deny that he was curious. If it were anything like meeting Sephiroth though...he shuddered at the thought. The man was pure intimidation without even intending to be, and Genesis had been alarming in his own way at the start as well. Who knew what the last of the famous three would be like? Especially the one who had taught his instructor...

Genesis seemed torn by the question as well, considering it a moment before responding. "I'm not sure if that's the best idea. You'll meet him eventually, it's inevitable- but maybe not right away."

"Okay," the boy responded, trying not to sound too disappointed; it would have been a relief if not for the uncertainty in Genesis' voice.

"That look doesn't suit you, Blondie," the SOLDIER stated, shaking his head as Cloud forced a crooked smile. "I much prefer when you're actually happy." He paused again, staring down pointedly until the cadet's smile grew into something more genuine. "That's better. It's not personal; I'll make sure you meet Angeal after the term. For now though, he's been gone a while, and I expect most of his time will be monopolized when he returns. A lot of people have missed him, myself included."

"And Commander Fair," he guessed, resentment obvious in his tone.

"Of course. And the general. If you want, I can always tell Seph he has to wait to see one of his oldest friends because _you _want to meet the man, but you've seen how he gets and-"

"No, sir!" The exclamation was out before he could stop it, and he quickly looked to Genesis apologetically. "I mean, that's okay, Genesis. I don't really need to meet him when I have you."

"You're getting good at that. You only slip with the sir nonsense when you're worried," the SOLDIER noted, patting the boy's hair as they came to a halt. "And, yes, you will still have me around even when Angeal is back. Except when I'm on missions, of course."

Cloud nodded his head, a sense of relief flooding over him as he smiled up at the redhead. "Good!"

The commander smirked, but bit back whatever he was about to say. "Your class is about to start," he said instead, eyes flickering into the room before meeting the cadet's once more. "And I have a meeting to go interrupt! I still can't believe Seph would try to send _me _out right after Angeal gets back."

"I'm sure the general has a good reason," the cadet responded, though Genesis scoffed in disagreement. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yes, tomorrow. Don't strain yourself too much, even for the puppy. You overdid it a bit today," the SOLDIER reminded him, giving the boy a quick wink before turning on his heel and walking the other direction.

Cloud stared after him a moment, oblivious to the whispers that were now filling the room behind him. He snapped out of his daydream as the commander turned a corner and was no longer in sight, quickly remembering to shrug off the leather jacket before entering the classroom. For so long he dreaded that jacket, but now he found himself _wanting _to wear it more despite the fact it clashed with his uniform and violated cadet dress code. Something about it filled him with an odd sense of pride, but he rationalized it was in his best interest not to wear it often regardless.

He shuffled to his seat, vaguely aware that his instructor began the day's lecture the moment he sat down. The entire lesson was a blur, and he knew that was just an indication that he _had _overdone it during training. Whenever he was tired he had trouble focusing, and even a cure couldn't stop his mind from wandering now.

How did his bad luck turn into something so good? Genesis has been so frightening the first several times they met, but now he was like an entirely new person. He still teased, but it was almost enjoyable even when it was embarrassing. It was like one idol had been shattered and another rose out of nowhere to take his place.

He smiled at the very thought of it. It seemed strange, the way Commander Fair had been so cruel yet dominated his mind for so long. Now he barely noticed how his instructor was treating him, and he definitely didn't allow it to impact his training. Any negative words were easily cancelled out by the memory of Genesis' encouragement.

"Strife!"

He snapped from his daze, eyes wide with surprise as he saw his roommate standing in front of his desk. "Yeah?"

"Class is over, man. What's with you? You looked like you didn't hear a word."

Cloud couldn't deny it. "I guess I'm just tired. I was training with Commander Rhapsodos this morning."

"What's with that anyway? I thought it was just till your marks improved, and they already have," Nerro pressed, staring at his friend patiently. "Is there something else going on?"

"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, frowning. Nerro kept staring at him, giving him an odd look until his face went red at the realization. "No! Definitely not! I think he's great, and I look up to him, but…no."

His roommate wasn't convinced. "So you _aren't _into him?"

"No…I mean, I think he's good looking, but everyone thinks that."

"Um, yeah, but they're too scared out of their minds to even talk to the guy. You actually _know_ him! I bet there's something- you just don't see it yet! Why else would he pick you? This is big news!"

"It's not news! Nothing is happening," he insisted, his heart racing anxiously. "I don't want him to think that I think something _is _either, because I'm not that stupid. He just likes to tease me because he thinks it's funny. I'm not interested in him or anyone right now."

"Not even Commander Fair?"

Cloud snorted. "Yeah, maybe before I met the guy. I basically worshiped the ground he walked on, and all he ever did was stomp on me. Why would I continue to feed into that fantasy?"

"I guess I don't blame you when you have someone like Commander Rhapsodos to keep you company," Nerro agreed, looking stunned still. "It's just so weird though! We're cadets! This kind of thing doesn't happen to us, and it's happening to _you_!"

"Nothing is happening. He's just helping me out."

"Not yet! But you hear the whispers about what happens with mentors and apprentices. I hear that Commanders Fair and Hewley used to have a thing too, when he was younger. Everyone's seen you in the halls with Commander Rhapsodos and they're speculating already. Do you think he'll actually become your mentor?"

"I don't know. I mean, I hope so. My marks are up but still not where they need to be and Commander Fair isn't exactly doing me any favors."

"He's lightened up on you a little."

"Yeah, because Genesis _asked _him to," Cloud said, not biting back the bitterness he felt.

"At least the other guys are done fighting over pairing with you. It was getting annoying. Apparently they noticed Fair giving more attention to your opponents, so they all kept fighting over who got you. I didn't hear about it till it stopped though, or-"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Was that really why?" He covered his face with his hands, mortified. He knew he was naïve about some things, but this…surely this should have been blatant. "I thought they just felt bad that he was so hard on me…That they were trying to be nice!"

Nerro patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Maybe in the way far back of their minds."

"I guess that's all the more reason I should be glad I'm done caring about what Commander Fair thinks of me."

"Don't kid yourself. If he smiled at you today, I bet you'd fall right back into those fantasies."

"Doubt it."

He couldn't ignore the fact that his heart jumped a little at the notion, but he could deny it to his friend. There had already been a moment where he thought he caught the commander smiling in his direction, and despite his best efforts, it had definitely prompted some old wishes to resurfaces. They were easier to manage now, and didn't hold the same power of him.

"That he'd smile at you, or that you'd have a fantasy about it?"

"Both!"

"It's not so hard to believe. Maybe he can't look at you because he's afraid he'll want you," Nerro said with a shrug. "Instructors can't date students, so he ignores you instead."

Maybe two months ago he would have considered such a delusion, but now? The idea was laughable at best, even to someone who went into class day one thinking his instructor would become his best friend _at least_.

"Yeah, right! You've been coming up with reasons for him to act that way since our first class, but the truth is, he just thinks I'm a worthless runt, and that's it. Someone like Zack Fair would _never _be interested in someone like me."

"Strife…you're kinda good looking, you know? I wouldn't be surprised if you caught a lot more attention than you realize. You really should start paying attention to the people around you more and you'd notice these things."

Cloud's shifted awkwardly, unsure if his roommate's statement was meant to be somewhat of a compliment or just advice. Either way he found himself shaking his head in disagreement. "The only person who ever showed interest was Tristan, and he's barely spoken a word to me since. He just stalks Commander Fair in the halls now, like everyone else."

"Because he's an idiot!" Nerro scoffed, shaking his head. "It's one thing to check the guy out, but following him around? That's weird."

"Yeah it is," the blond agreed, laughing at the idea of it. He was glad that _he _never went to such extremes even when he was still interested in his instructor. Maybe he'd watch Zack from afar, but only if they happened to be in the same vicinity; he never went out of his way, and surely that made it different. "We should get going. I don't wanna be late and give Fair an excuse to give me a hard time again."

He jumped to his feet without another word, grabbing his folded up jacket and holding it close as he and his roommate headed toward their next class together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Genesis' eyes went wide at the sight in front of him, intrigued.

Director Lazard, bent over the side of the general's desk while the general pounded into him.

Sephiroth was still wearing his signature black leather jacket in all its buckled glory, but his pants and boots were nowhere in sight...Genesis smirked at this, wishing the general would _always _opt out of pants. The man could walk around naked and still exude total authority- most wouldn't even dare to look, and those who _would _deserved to see as a reward for their bravery.

That suggestion would have to wait until later though. Lazard's heated moans made the current situation seem more urgent, and Genesis intended to give his undivided attention. Neither seemed fully aware of his presence yet, and that just wouldn't do.

Surely the general had _heard _Genesis enter, but his eyes were closed and he offered no indication. Naturally the commander took this as permission to move in for a better view, angling the chair across from the desk before sitting. He was tempted to perch on the opposite side of the desk instead, but even _his_ typical lack of regard for privacy didn't usually go this far...That, and he wouldn't see the side angles of the general which were quite mesmerizing.

It didn't take long for bright green eyes to land on him, a mixture of pleasure and irritation shooting through them as he continued to thrust forward. If the director had noticed the intrusion, he didn't seem to mind as he begged for more.

Genesis noted the moment when pleasure finally won out over the irritation, and seized it. "Faster!" he demanded, fanning his own face with his right hand. The general had never been a particularly shy man, and he certainly knew how to respond to orders. He watched Sephiroth's expressions eagerly, thrilled to see his friend actually maintaining eye contact with him. "Harder!" As Sephiroth obliged, Genesis leaned forward in the chair, winking at the general who was trying to hide a barely detectable smirk. He let his gaze flicker down to Lazard as well, pleased to see the man seemed to finally have noticed his presence as well. The director wasn't as undaunted as the general, but it almost didn't matter at that point. His muffled demands were no longer necessary; Genesis could read his face and was happy to voice his needs. "That's the spot!" A sharp gasp confirmed it. "Just a bit more, Seph!"

Any sense of compliance or awareness was lost a moment later, the two joined men forgetting their spectator in their climax.

Genesis leaned back in the chair when he had their attention once more, sulking as the irritation crept back onto his friend's face. "I barely got an erection from watching that! You should have told me to get here sooner!"

"I believe we have discussed the knocking issue, Genesis," Sephiroth responded, maintaining an impossibly stern face as he pulled out of Lazard.

The director seemed content to clean the pair as the general attempted to resume his typical authoritative stance, but they both knew it was impossible for Genesis to take him seriously while he stood there half naked. It wasn't the first time he had seen his friend like this, but it was always an impressive sight to behold. Sephiroth was certainly one of a kind...

"Stop staring at him like that!" Lazard snapped, glaring at Genesis as he retrieved the general's pants and boots.

It seemed more important that he get Sephiroth covered than himself, which was actually a surprise to the commander. Under different circumstances he may have even respected the director's wishes, but it was _Sephiroth_...and it was just too fun to quit playing so soon.

"How can _you _look away?" Genesis countered, grinning as the director scowled. "I saw this long before you ever did, so don't act like it's some big secret."

"I don't care if you've seen it, that doesn't give you the right to-"

"Are you jealous?" It was too easy to get the director in a huff. "You shouldn't be. If he weren't here, I may have looked at you more. It's just difficult to see _anything _clearly next to him!"

Lazard seemed to have given up trying to scold the commander, instead handing the general his pants and boots with a defeated stare. Genesis watched as he put them on with his usual efficiency, ready to make an offhand remark about the lack of underwear until he caught Sephiroth's warning stare. No words were required; the general wasn't truly angry, but he might be if Lazard were provoked further.

Genesis crossed his arms patiently as he sat, trying to stifle his laughter while Lazard dressed himself faster than the average SOLDIER could. He gave Genesis one last irritated glance before looking to Sephiroth with a distinctly softer expression. His mouth hung open slightly, but the words seemed stuck. Still, the general nodded in understanding, and that was enough to appease the director before the man retreated from the office entirely.

The general tried to maintain his serious stare as he looked to Genesis, but his old friend knew him too well. "You _like_ an audience from time to time...always trying to show everyone who has the biggest sword."

"Genesis-"

"Yes, yes, privacy and knocking. Got it," Genesis assured his friend with a flirty wink. "You _do _have a lock on your door, you know."

"If I believed it would stop you, I might use it."

"If you meant any of that, you wouldn't _need _to use it. Face it, Seph, you like having me around. You just don't like that I'm aware of it."

Sephiroth couldn't help but indulge his friend with a soft laugh. "Yes, but I am used to your interference by now. Lazard-"

"He _does _know I had you first, right?" the redhead cut in, crossing his arms as he eyed his friend thoughtfully.

The general nodded once. "I believe that is why he dislikes you."

Genesis straightened in his seat, looking almost proud to hear such a statement. "Dislikes me? I never knew he disliked me...I just figured he disliked me watching you have sex. There _is _a difference."

"I'm confident it's both."

"Honestly, I don't care much for the man myself," he admitted, choosing his words carefully. The general didn't look surprised to hear this; they had made it a point not to discuss the man often. "I only try to play nice with him because _you _do."

Sephiroth considered his friend's statement, pausing for a long moment before speaking again. "He is also our superior, technically."

The redhead snorted. "I don't have a boss, Seph, I just allow ShinRa to believe I do." His eyes fell on a bookshelf to the right of where the general stood, narrowing before Sephiroth could get in a response. "Since when do you let them bug your office?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're the neat freak, didn't you notice?" Genesis hopped to his feet, moving to the bookshelf. His hands fell to a small gap between two books, one that the general would never have allowed in his perfectly organized office. "This definitely wasn't like this last time I was here, and you didn't shake the room _that _much."

Sephiroth froze a moment before approaching as well, his expression unreadable as he pulled a small recording device from the shelf. He studied it closely, his demeanor growing dark.

"It was probably a Turk," Genesis offered, shaking his head slowly. "You know how the execs get- they always want a piece of you, even if they can't have it. This is the best they can get. I'd almost prefer if it were them. Hopefully not that psycho doctor."

"I do not believe either would risk my future cooperation on something so poorly executed. They would have hid this better," Sephiroth muttered, shaking his head as he broke the device in his hand. "I'll have to do a full sweep of the office to see if there are more. Did you need something else, or did you truly come to interrupt me and Lazard?"

"After that show, I've basically forgotten what I wanted," his friend responded, smirking once more. The general was already scanning his office though, any amusement or pleasure forgotten. "You know why I'm here, Seph. I got my next assignment today and I'm not happy."

The general stopped his search, turning his full attention to his friend. "Have a seat."

Genesis arched an eyebrow, not expecting those words to be a part of this conversation. 'Get out' or 'No' were typical in these instances, not 'have a seat'. He did as requested, staring curiously as Sephiroth moved his own chair back to its position behind the desk. He sat down as well, his hands folded together on the desk as he met his friend's eyes.

"There has been a development in Wutai. I'm afraid until I search the office more thoroughly, it may be wise not to discuss this matter. All I can say is Angeal will not be back as scheduled. I selected to send you on assignment to keep you busy."

"Is he okay?"

"Of course. I would not have wasted time with Lazard before speaking with you if something serious had happened." Sephiroth's hard expression softened in the most minuscule way as he eyed his friend. "There is no pressing danger."

This reassurance was not sufficient. "If there's no danger, then why can't he leave?"

"Now is not the time to discuss this, Genesis."

"Now is the _only _time to discuss this!" He rose to his feet, slapping a dramatic hand down on the general's desk. Somewhere in the commander's mind, he _knew _Sephiroth was right...It was Angeal. Next to the general and himself, there was no one better. Years of missions, together and apart, proved there was a good reason he had become one of SOLDIER's top men. They had been close childhood friends though, and he couldn't help thinking of the brute as that same kind yet awkward child from his past. _That _child had no place playing war when all he ever wanted was peace. "Tell me or I'm leaving and you know exactly where I'm going."

Sephiroth hesitated a moment before letting out a short sigh. "There has been a recent increase in terrorist activity. It made little sense to send more men to assist when Angeal and his team are already present. Any further discussion on this matter should wait until I search my office more thoroughly."

Genesis nodded in understanding, though he didn't seem content yet. He wanted to ask _why _Angeal had been sent in the first place if a new development were the only thing keeping his friend there, but that much could wait until they were elsewhere. There was a more pressing concern anyway. "You're certain he's safe?"

"It is typical for the threat level to fluctuate in that region, and nothing Angeal cannot handle."

The redhead breathed a sigh of relief, having no reason to doubt Sephiroth's words. "Have you told Zack already?"

"No. We had lunch together yesterday afternoon, but I was not aware of the situation at the time. I intended to notify him later this evening, unless you prefer to be the one to tell him."

"We may as well tell him together," Genesis replied, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "It's been too long since the three of us got together."

"That is not due to lack of effort. I see Zack quite often."

The redhead let out a short sigh, knowing what the general was getting at. "I see him too."

"He does not barge into my office to demand information. We schedule time to-"

"I know! I've been busy," Genesis insisted, finally allowing himself to fall gracefully back into the chair behind him. Sephiroth watched him with a mild discomfort, but before he could say anything on the subject, the redhead spoke again. "You know, he thinks he's in love with Angeal. I tried to tell him he's not."

"Perhaps he is."

"Seph…"

"I know. Angeal will not return his feelings. That does not change how Zack feels presently though. You were the one who explained such emotions to me, so surely you understand this. Did you explain the situation to him?"

"It's not my place."

"Then whose place is it? It would not be inappropriate for you to be the one to tell him," the general said, staring intently at his friend. "This makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps a different topic then. How is Cadet Strife handling your training? I've received an unexpectedly low number of complaints about you."

The mention of his cadet's name brightened the commander's mood a bit, though he scoffed at his friend's words. "I'll have to fix that, then."

* * *

o.o.o.o.o

* * *

"Strife, can you stay after class a minute?"

Cloud paused, almost thinking he must have imagined the question or that it was intended for another cadet. It had been a long time since he had such vivid imaginings though, so that didn't make sense. He stared blankly a moment longer before realizing there had been no misunderstanding. Even after blinking three times, Commander Fair was still standing in front of him, arms cross and a slightly amused expression on his face.

"Yes, sir," the cadet responded, wondering what it could possibly be now.

Perhaps the silent treatment wasn't working out. Maybe his new idea of lightening up on the cadet would entail a private scolding instead of a public one. He scoffed at the idea, sure that must be it. Why else? The man had made his disdain too obvious over the term, and something like that wouldn't disappear just because Genesis tried to intervene.

It was almost infuriating watching the way the class looked up to this man- the same way he used to. Someone truly admirable would be kind to _everyone_, not selectively or based on some whim. The entire class was watching him with such awe as the lesson came to an end, easily impressed by technique he had demonstrated- thrilled to hear that would be what they would learn during their next lesson.

Cloud was begrudgingly impressed as well, though he knew he'd have to watch and teach himself. A smile crept on his face as he realized Genesis would probably be willing to help if he just asked. There was no reason to feel left out when he basically had his own private instructor to turn to now. In fact, he'd take training with Genesis over a class full of teenagers bickering for Zack's attention any day.

His classmates began exiting the room after Zack dismissed them, and he briefly debated 'forgetting' to stay. That would likely just make the situation worse though, and he could already feel the commander's eyes on him. Instead he tried to suppress the smile that had formed on his face, knowing the commander always acted a bit weird when he smiled too much. It had become almost a defense mechanism to stop smiling in the class entirely; the one sure way to avoid any unwanted reactions. Even during lessons since Genesis had spoken with Zack, there would always be at least a glare if the cadet's smile grew too bright- not that there had been much to smile about before Genesis had started helping him. Zack's glares were haunting enough to dampen the silly optimism he had once felt, and drown out any persistent delusions that attempted to resurface. Even the time he had been so sure the commander smiled back at him had been discarded in his mind as an absurd daydream.

Not so long ago he would have felt eager...he may have entertained the notion that this could be a turning point. That all the excuses and explanations he had developed were really possible. And then he would have faced the inevitable disappointment from the encounter, followed by the hours of sulking in his dorm room.

He couldn't help but raise his guard a bit as he waited now, even though he had low expectations...Their last one on one conversation hadn't exactly gone well, and had really altered the way he perceived his former idol. Somewhere in his heart he knew this man could still break him though, despite his best efforts to be rational and cautious. Compliments from Genesis helped negate any difficulties he had during class, but this was an entirely different scenario. Staying alone to have a discussion was personal, and it would be too easy for old wounds to reopen.

"So, you're probably a bit surprised," Zack noted, a weak smile on his face as he approached the cadet. Cloud snapped out of his trance, trying to appear neutral about the commander's statement. Who knew what the man was expecting? He didn't want to impact the conversation either way. Zack stopped a few steps away from him, looking almost as uncomfortable as the cadet felt. "I was thinking, uh…About that time you asked me to do one-on-one training. I can see you're improving, and I thought, yeah. It'd make sense."

And just like that he was back to wondering if this were a dream...

"Excuse me, sir?" He practically squeaked as he asked the question, but was too baffled to feel embarrassed.

"One-on-one training. You and me." He stared at the cadet, his discomfort shifting into a mild amusement. Cloud had seen that expression on Zack's face so many times now, but never directed at him. This was the fun loving, silly commander he had watched from afar...He tried to hide the disbelief from his face, but knew he had failed when his instructor openly laughed. "C'mon, the other kids've been hounding me about picking someone, and you're the only one who deserves it. Are you still interested?"

His face was red and eyes wide from the unexpected compliment, but he tried to stay calm. "Of course."

Zack almost seemed relieved at these words, and his small smile grew into a toothy grin. "Good! I talked with Gen already and he said it'd be good if we focused on your defense. Or, Commander Rhapsodos- what's he let you call him?"

"I call him by name, sir."

"Okay. Um, well, let's do that too then. I'm Zack. You don't have to do that sir thing when we aren't in class. When we're doing this one-on-one, we're equals. I won't hold back much and you don't need to hold back at all. I've never really done this before, so we can teach each other. I'm used to _being _the student in these situations."

It was too much. The more Zack spoke, the more unbelievable it all seemed to the cadet. "Sir, if I may…" Cloud began, hesitating a moment.

"Speak freely."

"Why now? You've made it pretty clear you have no interest in helping me." The words were out before he could censor himself, and immediately he shut his eyes and waited for what he was sure would be a harsh reprimand. "I spoke out of line, I-"

"No, you didn't. You're right. I'm not ready to explain why I acted that way, but I _can_ tell you that I'm gonna try to change. I don't wanna be that person anymore. It was never me," Zack said, looking at Cloud intently. The boy hadn't opened his eyes though, and seemed to be overwhelmed as he attempted to process these words. "Gen told me if I just looked into your eyes, you'd win me over. I'm hoping if you do the same, it'll work both ways! We can fix this. Look at me."

The command had been spoken so softly, but he knew he shouldn't ignore it. He didn't want to ignore it...

His eyes fluttered open, locking onto Zack's instantly. The commander had sealed the distance between them, standing less than an arm's length away as he held the cadet's gaze.

_What is this?_

His heart was racing, and he wasn't sure if it were nerves, anxiety, or something more.

He had stared at Commander Fair quite a lot over the term- longingly and begrudgingly. Never like this though. This was the closest they had ever stood to one another, and neither seemed willing to step back. There was something hopeful and alluring there, and Zack seemed just as intrigued as he stared back. After a minute, the commander put a hand on the cadet's shoulder, sending a jolt through the boy as he smiled warmly.

Any attempt at staying rational and not caving in to his old desires was lost in that instant. Every buried notion resurfaced, amplified by the strange sensation he felt coursing through his body. Part of him wanted to feel ridiculous for falling into this trap again so easily, but it was impossible to acknowledge while this feeling held him captive.

"I see it. You and I are gonna be good friends, Cloud." It sounded more like a promise than guess, and the boy nodded in agreement without a word. "It's good, really. If you'll be training with Gen, we're bound to be around each other anyway. So let's schedule something. Do you train every morning?"

"Yeah, unless Genesis has an assignment," the cadet responded, too aware that Zack was still touching his shoulder.

"He doesn't bring you?"

"No. He said he can't until it's official," Cloud explained slowly. "Cadets can only go on approved missions with mentors or instructors."

Zack's eyes seemed to brighten upon hearing this, and finally he retracted his hand with a rush of excitement. "Perfect! I've been dying to get some real action! Why don't we make a lesson of it? I'll talk to Seph and see if I can't get us a 'training mission'. We'll do a couple one-on-one sessions beforehand and then practice in the field!"

"Um, cadets aren't supposed to use swords in the field though. We're supposed to use guns so we can stay out of range, and..." Cloud frowned, reminded of the commander's harsh words about his failures when they had trained with guns. Most cadet gun training was actually done in a dedicated course, but it had been incorporated into his combat course as a part of their hand-to-hand training. The cadets had learned to disarm one another, and gotten a few extra tips on targeting when there was extra time left during their lessons. Well, the rest of the class had gotten a few extra tips..._His _experience hadn't been as pleasant. The memory was enough to slow his racing heart to a manageable pace. "I'm just not sure that'd be a good idea. I'm not that good with a gun."

"I won't tell if you don't?" Zack replied with a shrug. "You can bring a sword if we go. It's not like you'll be using a gun when you make SOLDIER anyway. The rules around this place don't make sense."

"Most cadets don't become SOLDIERs though, and in the infantry-"

"We're not talking about most cadets, we're talking about _you_," Zack insisted, shaking his head. "You're gonna make SOLDIER, and laugh about the time you couldn't hit the target in class! I'm glad I had Angeal so I didn't have to put up with that shit."

There had been a _lot _more to those circumstances that just bad target practice, but the commander was so nonchalant that it didn't seem worth mentioning. Instead he focused on the drastic difference between this conversation and the last time he had asked about one-on-one training...The details were fresh in his mind, despite the time that had passed and his attempts to forget. It was like that with everything his instructor had said or done to him over the term though, and this conversation would be no different. Zack seemed so carefree and casual still, it wasn't worth analyzing or doubting everything now.

Instead he fixated on changing the topic away from bad memories. "I heard Commander Hewley is coming back soon. You must be excited."

"Why're you curious about Commander Hewley?"

"Genesis told me he'd be home soon," Cloud responded, shrugging a bit. The mood in the room was changing already, and he was beginning to think his polite conversation was coming to an end. The light expression on Zack's face had already hardened a bit, though not into a full glare. "I'm sorry if you didn't want to talk about him. It must be hard being apart from someone you're close with."

"I don't wanna talk about this with you."

His tone was tense, and Cloud tried not to feel too disappointed by it- after all this time, it wasn't so surprising. "Okay."

"I need to get going. We'll train after class tomorrow if you're still up for it."

"Definitely," Cloud replied quietly, wondering if Zack had even heard. He had moved to the door so quickly after speaking, and was out of sight a moment later. It was reminiscent of the way he had looked so distant the first day of class when Cloud attempted to speak with him. He had retreated just as swiftly that day, though thankfully he wasn't in the hall surrounded by other cadets this time.

Something felt off still, just as it had that first day. He wasn't going to react the same way this time though. Sure, he'd think it over and maybe pick apart the conversation to see what had gone wrong...but he wouldn't allow it to dominate his mind and fester again. Cloud had accepted that he would likely never understand Commander Fair or the affect the man had on him. At least he might manage to learn something if they did one-on-one training, and that was progress.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

_"You are not in love with Angeal."_

Why had Genesis sounded so sure?

Zack blinked, unable to shake the question from his mind despite his best efforts. Day after day it was the same internal battle, and it seemed there was no resolution in sight. He was beginning to think his eccentric friend was right, though it wasn't a simple realization to accept. Months had gone into building Angeal up in his mind, transforming his mentor into the ideal man. He _was _ideal, in more ways than one. Did he ever really think he was in love? Probably not, but he had been so sure it was something that could resemble it.

And that something made a lot more sense than the other question he couldn't shake from his mind...

Why was he _still_ dreaming about Cloud?

He rose from his bed, needing to be anywhere else as he tried to sort through it all. A shower would definitely help take the edge off, as the dreams were only becoming more vivid by the day. They weren't even strictly sexual anymore, and that was somehow just as frustrating.

Now that he had stared into those eyes…_really _looked at the cadet in a way he had refused to for so long…He had already accepted his physical attraction, but that was supposed to be it. What he had felt was different, and had made his heart race in the most peculiar way. Had he mirrored the same goofy expression he had detected on the cadet's face? The same expression he had tried so hard to extinguish over the course of the term? If he weren't trying to fix things, he would have been determined to stomp out that foolishness again and dismiss his own in the process...His conscience wouldn't allow it though, nor would Genesis.

It was a perturbing series of thoughts, and one that produced an irrational amount of anger. These mixed thoughts felt more like a betrayal to Angeal than they should, especially considering he had never actually confessed his potential feelings to his mentor. Luckily Angeal would return soon, and then they could talk it out…his mentor would make sense of the situation for him, like always- and then this would all stop. There would be no confusion.

Until that could happen though, he didn't want to think about _anyone_. Especially one of his students. And of all the cadets, why did it have to be Cloud?

_There's something different about him._

The automatic answer his mind provided was bothersome.

The way the cadet had dealt with all his behaviors though...not a single complaint. Sure, he'd look a bit upset from time to time, but he'd never stop trying his best in class, even when it was something he was particularly bad at. For a while that resilience had irritated Zack, but the more his thoughts lingered on the boy, the more impressive it seemed. Even when he told the kid he had no place in the program, he still kept trying. Now that he was working with Genesis he was more confident and doing better than ever...it was both admirable and aggravating.

Perhaps the impending training session would provide the solution he needed- a balance to the conflicting emotions he held. If he could just give the cadet a chance, maybe he could associate new memories with the boy instead…A fun memory rather than the ones that had taunted him for months before they even met. And training would be a pleasant reminder that Cloud wasn't different than the other cadets- maybe if he could start to think of him like the rest, it'd be easier to forget everything else, dreams included.

For now, though…he adjusted the water to a colder temperature.

* * *

o.o.o.o.o

* * *

"So I hear you and your favorite instructor are doing some one-on-one today. That's good," Genesis said, smiling as he deflected yet another attack.

Seeing Genesis smile usually pleased the cadet, but not under these circumstances. He was putting almost everything he had into his attacks, while Genesis spoke as if they were having a casual conversation over a meal. It never helped to complain about this though, as it only seemed to amuse the commander…having him laugh as he defended was worse, even if it would eventually be followed up with encouraging words.

It wasn't until he was back in his ready position catching his breath that he processed Genesis' statement.

"Is it?" Cloud responded, lowering his sword with a frown. It was about time to let up a bit anyway; he'd need to save some energy if he really were training with Zack later. Whether or not that was still happening though, he wasn't sure. His stare captured that uncertainty as he eyed Genesis, needing some reassurance to combat the doubts that had piled up in his mind. "I think I'm learning enough from you, so I might just tell him he should choose someone who-"

Genesis' eyes narrowed with curiosity as he interrupted the cadet. "Why are you trying to talk yourself out of this? You wanted that opportunity long before we started training together."

"But he only offered because you-"

"That's not true," Genesis interjected, sheathing his sword as he approached his cadet. "We discussed it before he asked you, but it was his idea. There's a reason I'm working with you, and he sees it too. He's stubborn and foolish when it comes to you, but he's not oblivious to your sword skills."

These words triggered a recurring question in the cadet's mind, and he felt antsy just thinking about it. Part of him wasn't sure he even wanted to know the answer and another part knew he wouldn't feel satisfied _without _knowing…yet somehow the reaction to the question was more frightening than whatever the answer might be. It was a simple question, but not necessarily a simple situation.

_Why?_

He had given up trying to figure it out himself, but the more time he spent with the unconventional SOLDIER, the more he realized maybe he didn't _have _to figure it out for himself.

Genesis was carefree and outrageous- but he was also observant and inquisitive. There was no way he wouldn't know by now, even if he hadn't known on the day they met. The two commanders had been friends for years though...that made the months he had spent with Genesis seem trivial in comparison. If he were put in the middle, surely he would lean toward Zack's side. Even if he didn't agree with Zack's actions, he might agree with the reasons, or worse…he might be annoyed that the cadet asked at all, putting him in an awkward situation between two people he cared about.

That was something Cloud wasn't sure he could handle. All the confidence he had developed was dependent on his time with Genesis, and could easily be taken away. It wasn't worth risking something so important over a nagging curiosity.

"Blondie…" He was staring with patiently, knowing something was bothering his cadet.

The boy lowered his gaze, shaking his head as he tried to distract himself by putting his training sword away. Genesis followed though, not giving him the space he desired. A firm hand on his shoulder set him at ease, and he took a deep breath- maybe it was time to take the leap. "Do you know why he hates me?" The question was so quiet that he wasn't sure he had even voiced it at all.

Something in Genesis' eyes told the cadet that he had heard though, and it wasn't surprise. He seemed tentative, taking a minute before responding. "He doesn't _hate _you."

Cloud tried not to feel too disappointed, but he couldn't suppress the feeling. It wasn't an answer, but it still felt like what he had feared. Genesis knew, but decided keeping Zack's secret was the priority. "You don't have to avoid the question…you can just tell me you don't want to answer."

"If I thought telling you would make you feel any better, I would. But it won't, Blondie." He offered a weak smile, but Cloud couldn't bring himself to smile back despite his best efforts. "You know I can't handle the sad face!" He let out a short sigh, tightening his grip on the cadet's shoulder. "If you_ really _want me to tell you, I will, but I want you to think about what you're asking. He's been giving you a hard time for months now…don't you think he's the one who owes you an explanation?"

"You're right," Cloud realized, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief. Maybe Genesis _was _on his side, and that confirmation was more important than whatever the real answer might be. "I'm sorry I-"

"You don't owe me an apology, ever. I need you to feel comfortable discussing anything with me," Genesis insisted, finally getting the cadet to smile back at him. "_Especially_ things that make you uncomfortable. Your face is just-"

The cadet swatted away Genesis' other hand as it moved to caress his cheek, sure that he was making the distressed face the man was about to describe. "Genesis!"

"I'm serious! I might not always answer or agree, but you never have to apologize for saying something. And really, when it comes to Zack, I love him, but that doesn't mean I always agree with him either. He's not being fair to you, and he knows it. That's why this one-on-one is so important! It's a step in the right direction."

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Did you forget he's the one who has the power to stop this? I can't officially be your mentor if your marks don't improve. _He's _the one grading you, not me. This will be a good opportunity to showcase your skills."

"They've gone up a bit already."

"Not quite enough, and we're running out of time before the term ends. Training with him will prove beyond a doubt that he's a fool! He has no business being an instructor if he can't see how talented you are."

"Gen," Cloud muttered, his face red from the compliment and fond stare he was receiving. There was no wink or smirk to follow though; no typical comment about how cute he looked when he blushed. Genesis was just holding his gaze, waiting- too aware that the cadet was still holding back. "I like you better when you're just teasing me."

"I'll tease you when you tell me what's really going on in that adorable head of yours! There's obviously another reason you don't want to train with him. Did something else happen? I'll have another talk with him if-"

"No, it's not that," the cadet interjected in a hurry, wishing he had a moment to collect his thoughts. Genesis wouldn't settle on anything less than the full truth, so he took a deep breath and tried to sort through his jumbled thoughts to find it. "He's been a jerk all term, but when he asked me about training I just…I wanted to be mad, but I couldn't. He said he wants to fix things, and I agreed like it was nothing. Like I was _happy_ about it. And when he looked at me, I-" The words were lost, but he was too upset with himself to try and find them again.

It seemed he didn't need to finish explaining anyway; Genesis was already nodding his head in understanding. "What did you _want _to say when he asked?"

Cloud shrugged helplessly, not even sure himself. "It wouldn't have done any good to vent about anything else, but I could have at least said no to one-on-one...I can't think clearly around him, and I don't like it."

"You'd have felt worse if you said no," Genesis told him, his tone soft. "You'd be wondering if you made a mistake, and thinking what may have happened if you'd just given him the chance."

"It would've been the smarter thing to do."

"It's not about being smart, it's about doing what feels right. You could be bitter and begrudge him this opportunity...but that's not who you are. And that's a _good _thing, Blondie. Plus, it's not just about him wanting to make things right- you can learn a style from him that I can't teach you."

"He didn't even apologize…he basically laughed about it."

It was Genesis' turn to frown. "He probably doesn't know _how_ to apologize. I doubt he's ever _needed _to apologize before, at least not for anything serious. I've known him a lot longer than you, and he's not the type to disappoint. I think you should just trust that this will all work out in time."

"Trust him?" he asked skeptically.

"Trust _me_, Blondie."

How could he argue with that? Genesis moved in closer, encompassing the cadet in his arms. The warm feeling surrounding him set him at ease, and he couldn't help letting some of his doubts go as he rested his head against Genesis' chest. Maybe he was right- he'd yet to lead the cadet astray, even if his methods could be questionable. He could go at least once, and then decide if it were worth doing more.

Still, it didn't hurt to try to compromise...

"If I follow through and train with him, will you start fighting back at least? Even if I figure out how to hit you, you would probably get me in one blow."

Soft laughter filled the air as Genesis' held the boy closer. "I could _definitely _get you in one blow."

"That's not what I meant!" the boy exclaimed, leaping out of the hug in a hurry. His eyes narrowed, though he was inwardly pleased that the serious part of their conversation seemed to be over as Genesis continued to laugh at him. "You can make anything sound that way, can't you?"

"It's a talent I have. I can list a few others, but you look so serious right now that maybe I'll save them for another day. Listen…" Genesis hesitated a moment, the amusement fading from his face. "I'm going to be leaving Midgar this afternoon, and I'll be gone for a few days. Don't give me that look, I only just found out this morning! I think the puppy can keep you satisfied until I'm back."

"Where are you going? I thought your assignment wasn't for another week."

"Well, I'd like to tell you the real answer, but maybe I should stick with the official one," Genesis said, frowning as he looked up to the nearby vent. "What do you think, Reno?"

"I'm just makin' sure you ain't touchin' him in the wrong places! Anything else ain't worth the extra paperwork," Reno called down, a bit too loudly.

It didn't take long for the other 1st Classes in the gym to look to Genesis and Cloud with renewed interest. The pair had drawn quite a bit of attention when they first started training, mostly because while Genesis wasn't exactly known among the 1st Classes for his friendly and flirty personality. The didn't bother training with anyone other than Angeal or Sephiroth- Zack being the occasional exception. Seeing him stroll in with his arm around a random cadet had been peculiar, and the way he teased the boy had seemed alarming at first. Enough time had passed with this routine though, that it had become normal.

Until a Turk was calling down from a vent about touching and extra paperwork.

Genesis let out a short sigh. "Thanks, Reno."

"Anytime, yo!"

The annoyance on Genesis' face quickly turned into a familiar mischievous stare Cloud knew too well, and he stared back suspiciously. "Since everyone's watching anyway…" He stepped forward, his hands firmly on the cadet's arms as he leaned in close. Cloud froze as lips brushed against his right ear, sending his heart racing anxiously. Enough people had already made the wrong assumptions about the pair, and he didn't want to encourage it just so that Genesis could be entertained for a minute. He was ready to step back until he realized Genesis seemed to have something else in mind this time. "I'm going to Wutai." His voice was so quiet that the cadet barely heard it, and Cloud immediately understood he was hoping no one else in the room would either- even with mako-infused hearing. "Officially though, I'll be on a short assignment to Rocket Town. Top secret package pick up, 1st Class hands only."

"But-" Cloud cut himself off, knowing he shouldn't say more. He wanted to ask _why_ Wutai if Commander Hewley were returning so soon, but clearly Genesis knew something that he didn't. Warm breath was still grazing his ear, and he waited patiently for whatever else Genesis had to say despite how tense he felt under the scrutiny of the entire room. The words never came though. Instead he felt Genesis' lips drop from his ear to his neck, planting a single kiss before the cadet could react. That was the boy's breaking point; he tried to jump back in a hurry, only to fall further into panic as Genesis' grip on his arms didn't relent. The man's desire to embarrass him had no limit. "Genesis!"

The cadet's distress only fueled the commander, as always. "I could give you much more than that if you'd let me, Blondie," he said, dropping the guise of whispering with a smirk. When the cadet's nerves didn't ease up, he was released, quickly burying his face in his hands after stepping back. He couldn't make out what was being whispered around the room, but he could guess- he just wanted to get as far away from the gym as possible at that point. "Plus, if our Turk is taking the time to get _all _the way up there, he deserves some kind of show."

"Keep it above the waist, Gen! I still ain't done the report from last time!"

"That was an accident!"

"All three times?"

"Well, the first time maybe," Genesis admitted with a small shrug.

"I told ya, two's the max I can let slide!"

The SOLDIER waved a dismissive hand, seemingly unconcerned as Reno chuckled. Cloud lowered his hands from his face, staring from the vent to Genesis with a baffled expression...He was sure he didn't know what they were talking about, and something told him he didn't _want _to know.

Genesis caught his gaze, his amused expression doing little to sooth the boy's worries. "He'd hate his job if it weren't for people like me. I guess I don't blame him. I caught a show of my own recently and I nearly went straight to Tseng and demanded to become a Turk. I bet they see things like that all the time, except without being caught. Though, it might not be as fun for me if they don't see me watching."

"What'd you see?" the cadet asked, anxiety slowly being overrun by curiosity- Genesis was too good at peaking his interest.

"Hmm, I'd better not say. I'd rather Seph not impale me with Masamune."

"Because there's something else you'd rather be impaled with?"

Genesis' eyes went wide and jaw dropped as he stared at his cadet, speechless for a moment. "Oh, Goddess! It seems they were right about me…I am a terrible influence! Blondie, do me a favor and keep talking that way, but _only_ around me. I don't want to share this side of you with anyone."

"That won't be a problem," Cloud promised, surprised and flustered by his own joke. It wasn't often anyone could render Genesis speechless, and the fact that he had for even a moment wasn't necessarily a good thing. "I can barely say that to you, let alone anyone else."

"I feel so special! Angeal was right, having a pet is nice! It's a shame I didn't name you after an animal, too."

"Did I ever thank you for that?" the boy asked, appreciating 'Blondie' for the first time.

"What, you don't want me to call you Kitten? Actually, I think it'd suit you quite well."

Cloud arched an eyebrow, not convinced. "Kitten? I kinda get when people make the chocobo jokes, but I'm not sure Kitten makes sense."

Genesis scoffed. "Kittens are cute and feisty! And _you_, my cadet, share both of those qualities! Although I suppose you can ride chocobos, which-"

"Blondie's not so bad!" the cadet declared, a hint of desperation in his voice. Anything was better than allowing Genesis to finish whatever analogy he was about to make. "Please?"

"It's not the best nickname, but I do believe it's too late to change," Genesis conceded, smiling as Cloud visibly relaxed a bit. "Come on, we need to get you to your class and then I'll hit the road."

The boy hurried to retrieve his jacket and books before returning to the SOLDIER's side with a smile. A familiar arm was around him, and they began their routine walk to class. It was one of the most relaxing parts of his day, though usually he was recovering from a more exhausting session at this point. As they stepped out of the gym he felt lighter, glad to be away from the prying eyes and ears of the other SOLDIERs. The ease he felt was quickly lost though; the halls were busier than the gym, and the whispers more numerous. They seemed louder somehow, and many were coming from cadets he knew. He found himself leaning into Genesis in an attempt to shrink himself out of sight, missing the days when he had been oblivious it all.

"Is something wrong, or did you just want to cuddle for a bit? We can always go somewhere more private if you'd like."

"Genesis!"

"What? I'm not going to see you for a few days. I need to get my Blondie fill."

"Stop saying things like that! People can hear you!"

"If they didn't hear, you wouldn't react the same way," Genesis said, as if this simple explanation made it acceptable. "Now, why are you trying to hide?"

"I was thinking about something Nerro said. About you and me."

"And what's that?"

"Um…people see us together and-" It sounded so ridiculous that he couldn't bring himself to finish, instead shaking his head.

"Ah, that. Well, that's inevitable, and standing _closer _might be counterproductive." Cloud realized he was right and attempted to jerk away, but Genesis' arm didn't budge. "I didn't say you should pull back, I just meant you should be more aware. Have I taught you nothing? Half the joy in doing something that's misinterpreted is _knowing _it'll be misinterpreted. They're going to talk regardless, so we may as well enjoy ourselves."

"But-"

"I'll just tell you now, Blondie, I know I'm handsome and fascinating, but you need to find a way to resist me. It'll be torture…but somehow you'll have to endure, my cute, young, apprentice."

"Apprentice?" Cloud repeated, brightening a bit at the word.

"Well, I suppose we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves, but if the puppy is letting you work with him now, I can't see what would go wrong. Unless Reno really _did _include that 'incident' in his reports. It was hardly serious, so he probably won't. There was that one other thing though..."

"Which? The neck kiss?"

Genesis laughed at this. "I think that was the least inappropriate thing I've done to you all week! You really _are _too innocent. We'll have to keep you that way."

"Um…okay?"

"And you will do everything in your power to resist my charm, no matter how difficult it may be?" Genesis pressed, pulling the boy a bit closer.

"I don't know how, but I think I'll manage."

"I mean it, Blondie. Promise you won't fall in love with me."

Cloud hesitated as he stared up his mentor, concerned by his serious demeanor. It had seemed like it was all an elaborate joke at first, but now he wasn't so sure.

Had he given the commander a reason to believe he felt something? Genesis had an obvious affect on him and could certainly send his heart racing, but it wasn't like how he felt when he had stared into Zack's eyes- however illogical that situation was, it was easy to identify that feeling. With Genesis it was different. He appreciated the commander and had admittedly grown fond of him…even the teasing and jokes were usually enjoyable to an extent. He was already at his maximum capacity for confusion though- there was no room in his mind to consider anything else.

"Why do you think I would?" he countered, trying to make the idea sound as unbelievable as it felt.

The serious expression on Genesis' face cracked finally, and he knew he had succeeded. "Did you miss the part about me being charming and irresistible?"

"You're not _that _charming."

"Of course I am. But still, you'd be so much more compatible with someone like Zack!"

Cloud shook his head, not amused by this joke or the flutter he felt in his chest at the idea. "That's not funny..."

"You two would be the most adorable couple in all of ShinRa! I'm hoping your one-on-one goes well so that I can play match maker after Angeal's back. And if I have anything to say about that, it'll be sooner rather than later."

They had arrived at the door to Cloud's class as the SOLDIER spoke, and he felt his heart sinking rapidly. It felt like there was still so much to say, and not just about this topic. There was always more to say with Genesis- even if they had another hour, he was sure he wouldn't be ready to say goodbye. It wasn't so bad on a normal day when he knew he'd see his mentor later or the next morning...'A few days' was too vague, and definitely sounded like too long.

Genesis seemed to know exactly what was on the cadet's mind, offering a small smile. "I'm sure it'll be less than a week. And think, soon you'll be mine and that will mean you can just come with me."

Before Cloud could say a word or feel the sting of his classmates' eyes, he was pulled into another hug. He wrapped his arms around Genesis as well, knowing it'd be no use to try to pull back- not wanting to anyway. Part of him knew he was becoming a bit too dependent on his mentor's company if the idea of being apart for a few days made him feel so depressed, but he couldn't help it. No one had ever cared about whether he succeeded before, and he liked the person he was becoming under Genesis' guidance. The man constantly had him on edge, but for some reason that made it easier to deal with other people- and his lessons, advice, and reassurances were invaluable.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask Seph. Or even your favorite instructor now that he's not being so ridiculous. I promise they won't bite...I already told them only I'm allowed to do that."

He was too overwhelmed to react to being teased, instead focusing on his other concerns. "I'll be fine. I'm more worried about you. Whatever's going on-"

"My mission is a simple pick up, remember?" Genesis reminded the boy quickly. "If that package gives me any trouble though, I'll take care of it."

Cloud nodded, wishing he could say more. "How will I know when you're back?"

"I'll find you first thing. I promise."

"Okay. Have a safe trip."

"And _you _behave. Remember, that dirty talk is just for me."

He cursed his perpetually red face. "It wasn't dirty talk-"

"Blondie, quit arguing with me!"

"I'm not arguing, I-"

"Just say yes."

"Yes."

With that, Genesis gave his nod of approval, ruffling the boy's hair until he elicited one last smile. Once he had it, he offered a final wink before turning on his heel and striding away. The cadet took a deep breath, trying not to think about it all too much as he entered the classroom. It was just a few days.


	10. Chapter 10

So, thanks for reading, my usual gratitude applies, as always! **Reviews are super appreciated**, and I'm taking everything suggested into account! ^.^

Don't be alarmed...but I'm not going to ramble! Feels like I've been building up to this one forever (sorry, maybe it did get drawn out a bit)- time to just dive in and see how it goes!

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

Cloud stared at Commander Fair, feeling a bit strange about the silence that had lingered between them since the rest of the class had been dismissed. His gut had told him not to smile, but it was almost a nervous reaction to the tension in the air as they eyed one another. To his surprise, Zack had matched his awkward smile, gesturing for the cadet to stand across from him on the training mat. Cloud obliged, getting his training sword ready for whatever this one-on-one would entail.

Zack seemed to be settling on a training sword as well, setting his actual sword on the rack as he took his position. "I'm surprised Gen's not here. When I told him I was gonna ask you to do this, I think his exact words were-" He paused, running a hand through his hair as he chuckled. "Well, some things shouldn't be repeated. I'm sure you can imagine the kinda thing he'd say."

The cadet _could _guess, and the thought of Genesis saying something weird to Zack flustered him to an irrational degree- more than it did when Genesis made comments directly to him. The situation was odd enough without the added stress, and he could only hope Zack knew he didn't echo whatever Genesis had said. Or at least not in the same words- there was no denying the odd pull he was already feeling in Zack's presence. He cursed himself for allowing it, almost wishing he had followed his instincts and cancelled. How was he supposed to do anything when he had so many conflicting thoughts? At least he was managing to keep the silly expression off his face this time, though it was taking more effort than he'd have liked.

"Relax," Zack said, his tone oddly reassuring. "I know how he is. I'd rather hear those kinds of jokes than some of the other things going around lately."

The blond nodded his head, not exactly sure what the commander meant, but relieved nonetheless. He'd have to remember to give Genesis a piece of his mind when he returned…granted his mentor would probably just laugh at him, it would still feel nice to vent his grievances. "He's actually gone or I'm sure he'd be testing out his Turk skills."

Zack arched an eyebrow. "Turk skills?"

"Yeah, you probably don't wanna know. I pretty sure even _I _don't wanna know."

"I get the feeling you're right," Zack agreed, shaking his head with amusement. "Where'd he go? He's not on some fan club retreat again, is he?"

_Fan club…retreat? _Cloud tried not to laugh at the idea of this, but couldn't help it. He'd met more than enough of Genesis' fans, and could only imagine what a 'retreat' would be like with that group of people. "He's just on assignment."

"Oh yeah?" Zack seemed genuinely surprised by this, frowning after a moment. "Usually he checks in before leaving…he's supposed to be babysitting me for Angeal."

"Oh?" It was Cloud's turn to be surprised. Since when did SOLDIERs need babysitters? "I think it was kinda last minute, so maybe he didn't have time."

"Lucky for him I'm not a kid, I guess," Zack said, shrugging as he began doing a few warm up swings. "Is he doing anything exciting?"

Cloud hesitated. Lying didn't seem right, and he wasn't good at it…but Genesis had been very careful to tell him in such a way that no one would overhear. The memory alone made his face red, and the way Zack was staring at him so curiously wasn't helping. "Something about an urgent package pick up in Rocket Town. 1st Class hands only."

The swings ceased immediately. "A _package pick up_? Gen would never accept a-" He cut himself off, a flash of realization appearing on his face. "Oh. Rocket Town."

The cadet answered the question in the SOLDIER's eyes with a nod, hoping he wouldn't be asked to clarify. Technically _he _wasn't supposed to know the truth, let alone be telling others…Judging by the disappointed expression on Zack's face, no explanation was necessary. He knew exactly where Genesis had really gone.

"I can't believe he didn't tell me. I haven't been able to get any calls through to _Rocket Town_ in weeks now," Zack muttered, letting out a long sigh. The cadet couldn't help feeling a tad bit childish- he missed _his _mentor, and the eccentric SOLDIER hadn't even been gone for 6 hours. It was hard to imagine how Zack must have felt with Angeal gone for so long. When disappointment turned into frustration though, his empathy became a secondary concern. He knew that look, and it wasn't the best timing for it to appear on his instructor's face. "Let's just get started. Go ahead, come at me!"

The concern was already present, and Cloud found himself stepping back. "Um, maybe-"

"I'll just defend for a bit," Zack assured him, though his clipped tone had the opposite effect.

The commander was rightfully upset, and his irritation wasn't directed _at _the cadet this time. That was the thought he held onto as he lunged forward, pushing all his nerves aside with a decisive swing. To his relief, the commander seemed more at ease as he deflected, his expression relaxing further as he dodged the next series of blows. Once it became clear that Zack's emotions weren't going to impact their training, Cloud tried to focus a bit more...That was when he realized he wasn't sure _what _he was doing.

He knew he wouldn't do any better against Zack than he did against Genesis, but they hadn't really discussed anything before beginning. His strikes were varied and scattered despite the energy he tried to put behind them, and he couldn't help feeling a bit directionless. There were too many options, and he wasn't sure how to narrow them down- in class, they were always focusing on a specific tactic or style. With Genesis, it was similar- they worked on various techniques, but each suited toward his strengths.

He didn't even know where to begin with Zack. It occurred to him that he'd never _actually _seen Zack in combat- just doing various demonstrations of the techniques in class. All he really knew was what he heard; the man's combat prowess was on its own level, distinct from most SOLDIERs. Was he supposed to be doing things he learned in class for this lesson? It seemed like a safe guess, and so he tried to stick with the most recent attacks they had covered. Even after narrowing down his strategy though, he wasn't doing much better. Something about being alone with Zack was very distracting- it was easier to do these moves when he was being ignored by the man.

Zack seemed to notice the cadet faltering, his gaze appraising every movement. "I've seen you do better than this in class. C'mon, don't hold back!" A few more flimsy strikes and Zack was holding up a hand to stop the next advance. "Just half an hour ago you were disarming three of my best cadets, and now…Are you tired? Nervous?"

Cloud didn't try to hide his disheartened expression. "I don't know what to expect from you or-"

"I don't fight the way we're covering in class, Cloud," the commander told him, seeming to understand the confusion. "Those are mostly basic stances and strikes. I don't even know why you're trying those right now- Gen must have shown you _something_ more specialized." The cadet nodded his head, mentally berating himself for not utilizing his best skills. He needed his common sense back- he couldn't afford to ruin this opportunity just because Zack's stare left him preoccupied. "Don't worry about it so much. Do what you've been practicing with him and we can adjust later if it's not working. This is just warm up."

Cloud nodded his head skeptically as he adjusted his stance. At least Zack was being relatively understanding...He took a deep breath, reeling in his focus. There was time to turn this situation around. He'd never fought this way with anyone other than his mentor; it'd be interesting to try it against a new opponent. Most of the training program curriculum relied on brute strength it seemed, and that wasn't something he'd ever be able to use outside the classroom. He had only managed to excel in class still because the other cadets weren't good at it reading his quicker movements. The style Genesis taught him used that speed to his advantage…but his quick reflexes and maneuverability wouldn't be enough against Zack, even if he used a flurry of attacks.

He had to remind himself that winning wasn't the goal- it never was with Genesis, and it didn't need to be with Zack either. This was about learning and practice. Zack offered a nod when Cloud stood ready, and the cadet quickly made his new advance. It felt much more fluid than his original attempts, though Zack was still able to deflect every strike effortlessly. At least his instructor didn't seem as amused as Genesis- instead he seemed to be studying the cadet, cataloging his every movement for when it was time to strike back. The thought that he'd actually be forced to defend was exhilarating and nerve-racking all at once. Usually he could dodge without even needing his sword in class now, so it would almost be an entirely new experience.

"What's with you and Gen, anyway?" Zack asked, his tone too casual as he sidestepped the oncoming cadet.

At first Cloud was internally grumbling about SOLDIERs and their insistence on chatting while they were being attacked...but then he realized what the commander had asked. The words hit him mid-swing, and he automatically came to an abrupt halt. The sudden momentum change forced him to stumble, and after he regained his balance he worked on his composure. People were bound to start asking these questions, but he had expected most SOLDIERs would go directly to Genesis. Particularly Zack, who knew him so well.

There was still a chance he had misunderstood the question. "What do you mean?"

"I'd assume it's mostly just rumors, but some of my friends've seen you together in the gym. They were telling me some weird things. About this morning in particular."

He could feel his heart racing anxiously, but he was helpless to stop it. Genesis _had _been particularly touchy, and to an observer it _would _seem odd. To him though, his mentor was getting ready to leave town and needed to get a week's worth of embarrassment out of his cadet in one morning. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to explain, really. Honesty was the obvious answer, but he didn't want to seem too defensive about it either. "It's just training, nothing weird."

"You don't see him outside of training?"

The suspicious tone added to his discomfort, but he tried to continue answering anyway- he didn't want to annoy the commander when they were finally trying to 'fix things'. They had almost had a good conversation before the lesson started- this one didn't have to be weird.

"We train, he walks me to my first class, and sometimes he pops up for dinner in the cafeteria if he's bored," the cadet said, hoping that would be sufficient. Meeting Zack's eyes again was a mistake though- he couldn't help but feel compelled to elaborate, even without being prompted. "You know how he is. What he sees as pat on the back, other people see as-"

"As exactly what it is…inappropriate," Zack said pointedly, the serious expression not suiting his face.

Cloud could feel the heat in his cheeks as he nodded. There was no denying how or why it was perceived that way, even if that wasn't how he personally interpreted it. "It's not like that though. He's just joking around."

"Gen's one of my favorite people, but I don't see how Seph thought it was a good idea to pair him with a cadet."

The SOLDIER seemed legitimately concerned, but that didn't make it any easier to hear. It would have felt better if _he _were the one being doubted, not Genesis…There'd have to be a way to make the commander understand.

"He's the best thing that's happened to me since joining this program. Without him I'd have nothing. I'd be the runt in the corner again."

The stern expression on the SOLDIER's face softened a bit, but he didn't seem swayed by the cadet's candid words. "I'm sure he'd still train with you, even without the full mentor benefits. That'd probably be for the best- you don't know what you're getting into! The rumors now will be nothing compared to-"

"As long as _I _know they aren't true, it's fine."

"Really? You're the most easily flustered kid I've ever met. You'd be _living _with Gen if he's your mentor. If he's willing to give you a _pat on the back _in public, what do you think he'd try behind closed doors? And even if he didn't, what do you think people will assume?"

His face was red again at the implication, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. "He wouldn't. And it'd be worth the rumors if it meant staying with him," Cloud insisted, growing anxious at the idea of losing his mentor over something so absurd. It was starting to feel more like an interrogation than conversation, and he didn't like it. Zack didn't appear to believe any of his assertions, so he spouted off the question he had been biting back before he could stop himself. "Did anything happen with you and Commander Hewley?"

When Zack arched an eyebrow, he knew he had gone too far. After their previous conversations it had been pretty clear Commander Hewley was a sore subject, but it still seemed worthwhile to draw the comparison- his desire to defend the situation had no boundaries. There was something particularly unsettling about _Zack _believing that something would happen.

"No, but everyone still thought something was going on. And Angeal's the most hands-off guy around this place! Genesis is-"

"It's not different," the boy insisted. The darkening expression on Zack's face was a warning to stop, but he ignored it willingly. It was too important to be clear. "Half the fun for Gen is making sure the things he does are public. It's part of the show for him. I bet he'll be bored with me by the time I'm living with him."

"I think you underestimate the effect you have on him." He wouldn't even look at the cadet as he spoke, instead fixating on the sword in his hand. Cloud wanted him to look up again, more than anything- if he couldn't convince the commander with words, he'd at least be able to do it with eye contact. If he could just let Zack see the foolish look he'd been holding back...the commander would be annoyed by it, but at least he'd know there was no reason to think anything would happen with Genesis. "He used to tease me too, but it's worse with you. And some of the things people are saying...Even things that sound normal aren't normal for him. He doesn't _hug _people, or-"

"He's going to be my mentor!" the cadet interjected, astounded even 'normal' behavior was being drawn into this discussion. "What's he supposed to do when I'm stressed out?"

"Exactly what he does with everyone else! Crack a joke and then tell you to figure it out on your own." Zack finally looked up, though he still refused to meet the cadet's gaze. "You're just..."

"Just what?" Cloud pressed, too aware they were treading a thin line.

He couldn't let it go. He _wanted _the commander to see how absurd his 'concerns' were, and then he wanted to ask why he cared at all. This conversation had gone far beyond the realm of a casual chat between two people who had barely ever spoken- two people who barely seemed to get along.

Zack seemed torn, and after a moment he let out a deep sigh. "It doesn't matter."

_Yes it does. _"He's your friend. How can you think-"

"Let's just get this over with." The SOLDIER raised his blade decisively, and his entire demeanor changed. Any sense of friendliness or concern were gone from the room, replaced by an overwhelming tension. "I'm gonna fight back this time. Speak up if it's too much, or if you have questions."

The cadet raised his sword as well, taking his stance again despite the nagging feeling in his heart. There was still more to say, but clearly the conversation wasn't going anywhere. Time would prove his point, and the impending attack seemed to be a more pressing concern.

Their blades clashed before he realized they were starting, and his eyes grew wide as he felt the force of the blow. It was distinctly more powerful than anything he had experienced with the other cadets, and definitely not what he had been expecting. A sudden flood of every tiny bit of defense he had learned in class poured through his mind, and he desperately tried to hang on to those tidbits before the next strike.

"Focus."

That was the first and only word of advice that left the commander's lips before a barrage of impossibly strong strikes- if it even counted as advice. It was more of an order than anything, and only obeyed out of sheer necessity. There was no pause between attacks- no moment to counter or recollect himself. He'd never quite realized the drastic difference between the strength of a SOLDIER and an unenhanced. Of course he knew they were stronger, but this was beyond his expectations- and it was clear the commander _was _holding back still, despite it all.

When would the training actually start? There was no advice- no compliments or critiques. Zack had told him to speak up or ask questions, but why was that necessary? With Genesis, he didn't have to _ask- _anything he needed to know would be pointed out as soon as it was noticed, and then his next effort would be assessed accordingly. That was the same way he had seen Zack operate in class for months with the other cadets- why did this have to be different?

Finally Zack relented a moment, lowering his blade as the cadet scrambled to retrieve his own. "Has Gen been going _that _easy on you?"

Cloud paused by his sword, waiting to pick it up. The strikes might just begin again if he did, and he wasn't quite ready for more. "He hasn't been striking back yet…just defending. That's why-"

"That explains a lot."

There was nothing he could say without making the situation worse, and so he chose not to respond at all. This didn't feel like a man trying to make things right. It didn't even feel like the harsh instructor he had grown accustomed to over the term...There was something unrecognizable happening, and he had no idea how he was supposed to react to it. Whatever it was, it hadn't even registered as a possibility on his list of reasons not to come. His worst case scenario had involved Zack insulting his every efforts, not..._this_.

Two options crossed his mind as he stared down at his sword, and he knew he was running out of time to decide; he could forget his pride and speak up, or just keep going.

It almost seemed like Zack was daring him to say something- like he was looking for proof that every blunt word he'd ever muttered was justified. That just wasn't going to happen. Plus, this was supposed to be his chance to prove himself...half the reason he had followed through was Genesis' reminder of how important it could be. If he spoke up so soon, how would he look? Certainly not like someone who deserved a better grade.

The second option was the only one he could choose- he wasn't at his limit yet, even if things weren't going well. There was always a chance Zack would ease up on his own, or at least offer_some _input...however unrealistic it might be, that was the only way he'd be accepting any favors from this SOLDIER.

A new sense of determination filled him as he grabbed his sword, though it wavered almost instantly as Zack made his next move. Back to back strikes, again, each increasingly powerful. Cloud practically screamed under the pressure as their blades clashed, growing weary from the constant onslaught.

The next set felt excessive. He fell to the floor this time, crippled by the impact. Zack was staring down at him, shaking his head slowly. Cloud didn't need him to say it- he knew what the commander was thinking. This was a bad idea. At least he wasn't the only one who regretted this so deeply; they finally had some common ground. Maybe it was the irony or maybe it was the exhaustion...he wasn't sure, but he couldn't help chuckling as he forced himself to his feet.

"Do you really think this is funny?"

"A little bit," the cadet admitted, trying not to sound as bitter as he felt. He was too tired to censor himself, and the realization was liberating. "Why am I even here?"

"Maybe if you actually did some training with Gen you wouldn't need to be."

Emotions stirred inside the cadet, but he managed to hold his tongue. He didn't recognize the tone Zack had used, but he definitely didn't like it. Why was he so hung up on Genesis? Their swords were both raised still, and clearly this encounter wasn't quite over- any desire to lash out verbally or defend his mentor would have to wait. It wouldn't help to provoke his instructor even further at this point.

One more attack might be too much though; he was already beyond the point of exhaustion, instead relying on pure adrenaline to fuel his movements. Genesis had never pushed him to this point, and he much preferred the warm arms of his mentor and the tingling of a Cure to this out of body experience. He lowered his blade slightly, knowing this needed to end soon. "What do you want from me?" His tone betrayed the pain he felt, but he tried to at least mask it from his face. "Everything in class wasn't enough?"

The words seemed to hit Zack harder than he had expected, knocking the rigid expression off his face almost immediately. "Is that what you think this is about?" His disbelief almost seemed genuine. "You have no idea, do you? This isn't how I wanted this to go."

The admission surprised Cloud, but the lack of explanation only made the hurt he felt pulse stronger than the other emotions he was feeling. What _had _he wanted then, and why did it go so terribly wrong? Their discussion had been awkward, and maybe he _had _gotten a bit too defensive at points- did it really warrant this reaction though? Surely whatever issue Zack had with him or whatever trigger he had set off during their conversation didn't justify this...Genesis would have _told _him if it were that important.

_"Don't you think he's the one who owes you an explanation?"_

He had to find out. "What did I do to make you hate me this much?"

Zack's mouth hung open slightly as he shook his head. "You didn't do anything. You never…"

That wasn't good enough. Cloud gripped the hilt of his sword, raising it once more. "I'm ready."

If the cadet didn't know any better he'd have thought he saw a flash of panic on Zack's face, but that made less sense than his decision to come to this one-on-one.

"We should talk about this."

"No."

He had tried to be respectful to his instructor. He had been patient and understanding- he had dared to hope despite having no reason to believe. Now he couldn't help feeling furious, mostly with himself for not realizing this would happen. He should have known better...It was too late to change the situation he was already in, but at the very least he could make sure it didn't get worse. He'd given Zack his chance to 'fix things', and he'd not be so easily fooled again.

Genesis' warm words of encouragement filled him, salvaging the confidence that had begun to shatter inside him. He could do this. He might not be able to win, but he didn't have to lose...he wouldn't quit and he wouldn't cry. He would fight until he couldn't fight anymore.

"Cloud, I..." His eyes were locked on the cadet, pleading- he wouldn't get the eye contact he desired though. The time for surrendering to that foolishness was gone- he couldn't afford any additional vulnerabilities now. "Obviously I pushed you too far, and-"

"I didn't ask you to let up, did I? If this went too far, it's _my _fault."

"I should've known you wouldn't say anything. I'd never-"

"I'm ready," he repeated, done trying to listen to this man.

Whatever Zack had started needed to be finished, and he wouldn't walk away until it was done. The apology in his tone wouldn't suffice. The commander seemed to hesitate, but Cloud left him little choice as he lunged forward this time. It only took one swing for the sword to fly out of his throbbing hands, but he didn't mind. He felt oddly invigorated as he retrieved it again, ready to let this play out. Zack was standing ready, though he seemed to have given up on his attacks…instead he let the cadet lash out the same way he already had, only disarming him when it seemed he needed a moment to catch his breath.

"Cloud, stop!" He finally met Zack's eyes and the disarray he felt seemed to resonate with the SOLDIER. Before he could push through the drained sensation once more, Zack threw down his sword, raising his hands defenselessly. "Please. I need you to talk to me! Yell at me- _anything _other than what you're doing."

Cloud just shook his head, not ready or willing to have another conversation that would go nowhere. He wasn't even sure he could speak at this point- the lack of movement was making him grow acutely aware of what he had just put his body through, and it was more than unpleasant.

"Okay," Zack agreed, seeming to take the lack of response as an answer. "I'll talk then. I didn't decide to do this so that I could-"

"Don't," Cloud snapped, finding his voice in a flash of annoyance. "I wanna keep going."

"Do you have dreams, Cloud?"

That wasn't what he had expected, but…the entire day hadn't been what he expected. Why wouldn't he stop talking? He was the one who had started this. A few minutes passed in tense silence, and the cadet finally lowered his sword. It seemed he would have to respond before they could continue. His whole body was swaying as he stood there, trying to remember the answer.

"To become a SOLDIER."

"And then what?"

He was sure he had goals beyond that point, but his mind was too scattered. "I don't know."

"If this is how you fight now…imagine if you knew what you were fighting for. You need dreams. And honor. That's the most important lesson I can teach any cadet- things I'm sure Genesis isn't concerned about at all. You should go. Don't come back until you find yours."

The sword finally fell from his hand as he stood there, stunned. No matter how soft Zack's tone was, it didn't mask the harsh words that shouldn't have surprised the cadet at this point. These words cut deeper than any blade ever could, and he knew he was finally done.

Even when he was so sure he didn't care what this man thought of him, it hurt…it was debilitating, more than he was willing to admit. All he wanted was to obey- he was desperate to leave that room and never look back, but his feet were rooted to the ground. Was this why Zack had refused to keep going? Did he know his words would get the reaction his sword couldn't? The cadet stared at his instructor, his weary body filled with contempt.

Zack stared back, undaunted by the cadet's glare. "Will you let me Cure you?"

"No."

"Then go!" he ordered, the false gentleness in his voice somehow amplifying the word.

With his hands balled into fists, the cadet turned, biting back the tears he felt stinging his eyes as he finally regained control of his limbs. They were a bit wobbly, but he'd be fine if he could just get back to his room. Or at least a safe distance away. It was the only thing he had left to hang onto- the only small victory he had managed. Zack may have gotten what he wanted…but he wouldn't get to see the magnitude of his success.

There were still a few cadets wandering the halls, but he tried to ignore them, furiously pretending to be fine. No one needed to know about this. They already thought he was a runt…they didn't need to see exactly how weak he truly was.

His room was in the next building though, further away than he could handle. There was no way he'd make it before breaking down, and so he did the only thing he could think of- turned into the first empty classroom he could find, shut the door, and crumbled to the ground. The tears began to flow freely and uncontrollably, paired with sobs he couldn't choke back as it all began to replay in his mind. He didn't even try to stop it, knowing it would be futile. The soreness in his muscles became more prominent as his adrenaline wore off, and his fatigue was so powerful that he wasn't sure he'd even be able to stand yet. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was praying there wouldn't be a class in this room anytime soon, but it was just one thought lost among the chaos.

All sense of time was lost as he laid there, letting the sadness run its course until his body couldn't produce any more tears. The miserable feeling hadn't faded in the least, but eventually there was just nothing left but a hollow ache...It was the first time in his life that he had experienced a complete breakdown, and it was something he wouldn't forget. Never again would he give someone the power to drive him to this. Especially not Commander Fair. The thought of the man was repulsing in that moment, and he'd be happier if he never had to see his former idol again.

The term wasn't over yet, but surely there was _something _he could do.

He rose to his feet slowly, still dizzy from his overexertion. An idea had lit up in his head, and it was too important to wait. If he could push himself to this extreme, surely he could manage a bit more. It'd be worth it for the peace of mind. His feet seemed disconnected from the rest of his body, but they still lead him to the place he had imagined…A place he never would have dared visit on any normal day.

A busy looking man stared up at him, looking somewhat annoyed for a moment, but then concerned as he examined the boy's face.

"Can I help you?"

"I need to speak with the general."

"He's very busy. I can try to schedule something-"

"Please ask him? I think Commander Rhapsodos told him I might stop by."

The man frowned, looking over his computer screen. "Strife?" Cloud nodded in response, and the secretary let out a short sigh. "Yes, you are on the list. He has an appointment in fifteen minutes, so try to be brief. And don't forget to knock!"

Cloud nodded again, taking a deep breath as he approached the door. Suddenly he felt very nauseous, but it didn't matter- he'd force himself to get through this, and then fall victim to his body's weakness once more. Just a few minutes…that was all he needed.

Was this really the best solution? _No,_ his mind screamed, a list of alternatives forming almost immediately. This was the easiest though, and surely he had endured enough hardship.

His hand was already on the door, knocking twice before he could thoroughly consider his other options. There was a call to enter, and at that point there was no turning back. Curious eyes fell on him as he stepped inside, and he only had to remind himself once that it was for the best.

"Cadet Strife. Have a seat," the general offered, gesturing to the chair across from his desk. The boy did as instructed, trying to numb the feelings that were coming back to life inside him. He had been so sure he had gotten everything out, but now…everything was rushing back too rapidly to control. Nerves mixed with the flow of anguish and disappointment, and it was too much. He couldn't even look at the general, fearing he'd ask questions that the cadet wasn't ready to answer. "Commander Rhapsodos asked me to see you if you needed anything, but I must admit, I did not expect you to show up less than 8 hours after he departed. You look unwell."

"I'm fine," Cloud responded, the crack in his voice revealing his lie.

Sephiroth noted it, though remained patient as he eyed the boy. "What can I do for you then?"

The cadet took another deep breath, futilely trying to exhale some of his rising emotions. "I need to switch combat courses."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I don't usually end with an author's note but did you really think I'd go a whole chapter without rambling? I had to wait till the end this time because...well, I didn't want to set the tone. For what it's worth, I'm sorry if you didn't like this chapter. _I _didn't like it. I went through at least 15 variations, but ultimately I couldn't lighten it up or make this a happy bonding point…Someone had to snap, and I really hope it was understandable why.


	11. Chapter 11

So…I'm back! Thanks for reading, as usual! **Just to be clear, I appreciate every single review I've received. Y'all make me happy.**

Anyway, lesson learned- I won't apologize for my writing again! I'm in charge- a few of you were nice enough to remind me, so let's do this! This chapter should be...interesting. I swear, it gets longer and longer every time now (the chapters _and _my rambling!).

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

"_Angeal_," Genesis whined, glaring openly at the 2nd and 3rd Classes scattered throughout the common area. There were only a dozen or so men, split among couches and tables in the small room. No one dared sit at the table with Angeal and Genesis, or even looked in their direction despite the curiosity in the air. Instead they focused on whatever they were doing- mostly drinking and card games. The SOLDIER base of operations in Wutai was both boring and confining, especially with the extra manpower. There just wasn't enough work or room for everyone. Genesis Rhapsodos showing up unannounced was the most interesting thing that had happened in a while. "We need to talk alone! Can't you tell these men to go to bed?"

Angeal frowned, wishing his friend would at least _try _to use some tact. Just because his men weren't bold enough to look didn't mean they weren't listening. "No. This post has been dull enough. I'm not sending more men to bed early than necessary."

"Can _I _send them to bed?"

"You can try. I've already told all my men that they don't have to listen to you," Angeal warned, chuckling as Genesis gasped. "I'm in charge, Gen. Sorry."

"You're not sorry," Genesis muttered, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"It seemed polite to say," Angeal responded with a shrug. "Now stop pouting and tell me about these rumors! I hear you found yourself a cadet. Yes, Gen, we get the latest gossip even in Wutai. There's not much else to talk about around here."

Genesis looked genuinely surprised by this, but quickly recollected his composure. "I can see why my life would make for an interesting discussion, but really…you've been here so long! There must be _something _else to talk about."

Angeal shook his head slowly, sipping at his drink. "There's really nothing happening. So long as we don't try to leave, it's like there was never a problem to begin with. We've just been splitting work with the regular forces here, and trying not to step on each other's toes."

"I don't like the idea of you being a hostage."

The neutral expression left Angeal's face as he set his drink down. The comment had been too loud, and even the SOLDIERs who had been casually ignoring the pair were now stealing concerned glances. Angeal cleared his throat, ready to speak very clearly. "That's a bit dramatic, Gen. We're here on orders, and we're only remaining because the investigation is already underway. If we weren't expecting results soon, we would have pulled out by now. Shinra doesn't tolerate terrorists playing games like this."

Genesis leaned closer to his friend, reaching out and resting a hand on his knee. "Can we stop putting on this show for your men and speak privately?" he whispered, meeting his friend's eyes. "I'll tell you what Seph and I think if you just send them to bed."

There was a spark of interest in Angeal's eyes, but he shook his head. "I can't," he muttered. "I have a responsibility to them, and-"

"Fine! Take me to your room!" Genesis exclaimed, jumping to his feet in a hurry.

A wide smile was spread across his face, but Angeal just sighed. They had been friends for too long…It shouldn't have been surprising that Genesis had no patience. Angeal rose to his feet begrudgingly, giving the room one last scan. No one was being rowdy, and enough men had already retired for the evening to be ready on a moment's notice…It seemed most of them had just stayed up to eavesdrop, and he couldn't fault them for trying.

There had been no warning Genesis would be arriving and they all wanted to know...why was another elite SOLDIER showing up in Wutai? A simple public conversation would have been enough to set everyone at ease, and the gossip would have spread by morning. It would have been clear the eccentric SOLDIER was just making a friendly visit, and there was no need to be alarmed. Instead he lead his old friend to his room, accepting the fact that a private conversation would have the opposite effect. He'd let Genesis have his way, and then take a more direct approach with his men in the morning.

As soon as they had stepped inside, Angeal found himself pinned to the wall, his own arms at his side while Gensesis' arms were on either side of him. "Really? This is why you couldn't give me five minutes of pointless gossip to show them that you dropping by isn't a big deal?"

"I'll put on the show tomorrow," Genesis promised, his expression blank as he leaned in closer. Angeal watched him carefully, offering no protest as his friend stopped just short of his lips. He wasn't disappointed when Genesis stopped, but he _was _curious. His friend seemed distracted, studying his every feature with narrow eyes instead of making his more typical moves. Finally he stepped back, his blank expression lost to contemplation. "I'm fairly certain I didn't bring you in here for the reason you think I did."

Angeal raised both brows. "There's not _actually_-"

"No, it's nothing urgent or I would have told you already. I _do _have some information, and I need to check on a few things, but it's not serious yet," Genesis explained quickly, taking a few steps back.

Angeal remained against the wall, crossing his arms as he watched his friend. Usually his presence set Genesis at ease, but it seemed to be having no effect. He chose to focus on their conversation instead of his demeanor, picking up on the most important word. "Yet?" he asked, waiting for some elaboration.

"He's probably the cutest cadet since yours. I think you'll like him."

"…What?" Angeal watched curiously as Genesis began pacing the small room. There wasn't much in it- a bed, a small table, one chair, and a trunk filled with some clothes and personal belongings. It was poorly lit, but that didn't mask the perturbed look on Genesis' face as he ignored the question. "Don't you think we should talk about whatever's going on first?" Silence again. "Gen, are you okay?"

"I just thought for sure that coming here…" Genesis' voice trailed off until he let out a short sigh.

"You need to talk to me if you want my help." The pacing stopped, but there was still no response. "Okay, let's talk about the boy then. He's cute?"

Genesis snorted. "Obviously."

"That's not the only reason you selected him, I hope," Angeal said, though the 'hope' he felt wasn't apparent in his tone.

"It's not. At first it may have crossed my mind- running into him was just a coincidence. Then I _kept _running into him because I started enjoying myself…you were gone, I was bored. Really, that makes this your fault!" Genesis accused, pointing wildly at his friend. "So _you _can sort this out. Why did I choose him?"

"You want me to tell you why you were drawn to some cadet who I've never actually met?"

He was trying to make the question sound as ridiculous as it was, but knew he had failed when Genesis said, "Yes."

"You're unbelievable sometimes…You can figure out everyone else's problems in a matter of minutes, but none of your own." Angeal waited, anticipating a quick comeback or snide remark. There was nothing though. Genesis was just watching him, waiting for more insight. "Okay. Is it a matter of why you chose _anyone_, or why you chose him in particular?"

"Both. I've never truly been interested in having my own student- it was just fun to joke about. Yours was fun to play around with, but I would have gone insane having him around full time. I don't know if I'm ready for this, but the idea of _not _having him is just…troubling. I couldn't stop thinking about it the entire trip here."

"Why don't you just work with him without pursuing mentorship? You don't _have _to-"

"I thought about that too, but it's not good enough," Genesis said simply, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Angeal nodded, thinking over everything that had been said carefully. "You know him. Well, I don't think you've met him, but you've _seen _him. The blond one."

"You do realize there are multiple blond cadets, right Gen?" his friend reminded, arching an eyebrow.

"How dare you mix my Blondie up with those kids!" He feigned offense, finally breaking out of his serious daze. It was an immediate relief to see him lightening up a bit. "Mine's unique- I'm sure you remember him. Big blue eyes you could get lost in for days…Spiky hair as wild as the puppy's!"

Angeal blinked while his friend stared pointedly. "Is that the one-"

"Yes."

He moved from the wall, taking his turn to pace for a moment before stopping in front of Genesis. "Why do _you_ think he's so special?"

"You're supposed to be telling me!" Genesis shot back, a bit too defensively. The sharpness in his eyes softened as he looked to his friend apologetically. "I just feel like he was sent to me for a reason. Something clicked between us."

Angeal hesitated before crossing his arms again. "Are you sure you really know what you're getting into? It's not too late if you wanted to tell Seph you changed your mind. He could even find someone else to take the boy, or-"

"Angeal! Are you trying to talk to _into _this or out of it?"

"Neither. I'm just making sure you know what you're signing up for. There's paperwork."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that? I can handle a weekly progress report…To be honest, I was planning to let Blondie do that anyway," he responded, unfazed by Angeal's disapproving stare. "He's impossibly hard on himself! I'm sure he'd be more objective than me. Unless you think Shinra would want to read a report about how cute he looks when he's frustrated, or-"

"Maybe you _should _let him write the reports," Angeal agreed, chuckling as Genesis finally cracked a smile. "It sounds like you've already made up your mind, so I don't know what you think you need me for. You might not always be the most responsible, but I'm sure you can handle this." He took another moment to recollect his thoughts, his brow furrowed as he forced himself to continue. "I…may not be able to help you with him."

"He's an exceptionally fast learner. I don't think I'll need help-"

"I mean, I might not even be able to meet the boy. At all."

Genesis' eyes filled with interest as his friend took a seat beside him on the edge of the bed, and for a moment they just stared at one another. They both had something to say, but neither seemed willing to begin. It wasn't until Angeal was about to stand up again that Genesis caved in, his hand resting on his friend's knee before he rose.

"I was hoping you'd wait until after the term anyway," he admitted, frowning at his own words.

"What happens after the term?"

"Puppy won't be his instructor anymore. You aren't going to _believe _this, but your pet thinks he has a crush on you!"

"I'm glad to see your sense of humor's back." The response was instantaneous, and came with soft laughter and a smile. Genesis remained straight faced though, and soon Angeal was staring with disbelief. "Did I give him the wrong impression somehow?"

"No…"

Genesis was carrying on with an explanation, but the words were lost on his ears as he began berating himself. He tried to look back on his time as Zack's mentor, but nothing stuck out…nothing seemed obvious or inappropriate. The occasional hug, pat on the head…the celebrations after a successful mission. It all seemed harmless at the time. He kept thinking, sure that he would remember _something, _some reason that Zack would feel that way- some impression that he had given inadvertently.

"Stop!" Genesis exclaimed loudly, interrupting the chain of thoughts for just a moment before it continued. "I know what you're doing, and that's enough!"

He leaned forward a bit, elbows on his thighs and hands cross between his legs as he stared off a bit longer. "How could I let this happen?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"There's nothing that you could have done to stop it," Genesis insisted, shaking his head. "You're just…a big mass of handsome, protective SOLDIER that anyone would find impossible to ignore. How could he not get confused? He idolized you all these years, never found anyone else who seemed interesting…all his friends are finding partners. It's an odd time for him, and you've always been the one he could depend on for everything. It doesn't help that you were so insistent that he couldn't know about your straight issue."

"I'm not straight," he grumbled, tired of hearing about this.

Genesis' eyes narrowed. "If you can get a blow job from me and not become exclusively interested in men, you have a straight problem."

"Plenty of people are interested in both men and women. You just take it personally because-"

"Because it's offensive to my reputation!"

"Whatever you want to call it, it's not relevant." He tilted his head to face Genesis. "Are you certain he-"

"I'm certain he doesn't know _what _he thinks. He's just not in the right state of mind, especially without you there to knock some sense into him. You know how he is- he only takes me so seriously," Genesis explained incredulously.

"I can't imagine why…" Angeal raised his hands defensively as Genesis scowled. "Still, I can't believe he'd think that, confused or not…It's flattering, but…"

"What, are you considering it? I assumed you wouldn't, but...he _is _handsome and charming in his own way."

"No," he responded immediately, the idea too bizarre to consider. "Of course not- it's Zack! And even if it weren't, it's not even about him. My heart…"

"That was a long time ago," Genesis pointed out, staring sympathetically as his friend's expression grew somber.

"I could never give him what he wants or needs, even _if_ I felt that way. She was the only one. My Pup deserves someone he can share his whole heart with- someone who will love him the same way in return."

"And what about you? You get nothing but pity sex the rest of your life because your one true love is gone?"

"Dead, Genesis. It's been seven years, I can handle the word now." His words were spoken firmly, but the crack in his demeanor was obvious as he sat there. He could almost feel the pity emanating from his friend, and quickly pushed to change the focus of the conversation. "And I wouldn't exactly call it _pity _sex. You were the one who came to me. Repeatedly!"

"Who am I to deny a friend in need? Rest assured, I'm not interested today, so you can keep your erection to yourself."

"I think I'll manage," Angeal muttered, rolling his eyes. "I still don't see what all this has to do with me and the boy though. I know _my _reasons for not wanting to meet him, but-"

"Oh, honestly, Angeal! You think I'm the only one who remembers that joke you made? Puppy took it to heart. He has some weird grudge against Blondie now- I've never seen anything like it. Have you ever known him to dislike _anyone_?"

"No…" Angeal closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. He had a hunch where this conversation was going, but was hoping he was wrong. It didn't seem possible. "Has he done something to the boy?"

"Nothing nice, but it might be better if he tells you about it. I think I've maxed out your disbelief for the day. They were trying to work it out when I left, but I'm concerned if he sees you with my cadet, it'll reopen an old wound. At least after the term he won't be an instructor anymore." Genesis paused for a moment. "What do you mean _your_ reasons for not wanting to meet him?"

"This…is awkward." Angeal rose to his feet, needing to distance himself a bit as he tried to find the best way to explain himself. There _was _no good way though, and soon he was sitting at the small table on the other side of the room, elbows propped up as he tried to force himself to meet his friend's curious eyes. "You have to realize, I had no idea you'd decide to choose him on some whim, Gen."

"I know you were joking that day," he responded, frowning. "I barely even remember what you said, just that it was about him."

Angeal took another deep breath, remembering it all too well. "People were whispering too loudly about me and Zack…we all heard them, and that was when I saw your cadet. He was across the courtyard, not doing anything special...just walking by. He stuck out from the rest though, and I pointed and said-"

"If only they knew _that _was my type, maybe they'd stop with the rumors," Genesis finished, nodding his head as he remembered. His eyes narrowed as Angeal nodded as well. "It was a joke, Angeal. We're talking about _you_. You wouldn't so much as look at a cadet the wrong way."

"I didn't look at him the _wrong _way, I just…looked. It wasn't the only time I saw him around, just the first. After that I noticed him more and more often," Angeal confessed, trying to remain unaffected by the tense look Genesis was now giving him. "It _wasn't _inappropriate. I never approached him, and I'm certain he never saw me. He just…He reminds me of her."

That was too much. Genesis jumped to his feet, shaking his head as he circled the room. By the time he was done circling, he was standing in front of Angeal, looking a bit skeptical. "She had brown hair!"

Angeal rested his forehead in his open palms, already regretting bringing it up. "A person is more than their hair color, Gen! She didn't have blue eyes either, but that doesn't mean they weren't just as bright! You _knew _her. It's his mannerisms- the way he walks-"

"My cadet does not walk like a woman!"

"It's more the way he carries himself!" Angeal clarified, surprised that those details were the part of the conversation Genesis had a problem with. "Stop being so defensive! I'm not saying he's feminine, I'm saying there are similarities. She was the same stature, the same skin tone- she was just as shy and reserved as he seemed to be. She…" He stopped, ready to rattle off a dozen other comparisons, but unable to under his friend's scrutiny. "This is why I didn't tell you sooner. I knew you'd give me a hard time about it, and now it's _worse _because he's the one you chose."

Genesis' critical expression shattered in an instant. "You can talk to me about anything! I'm sorry, I just…I might be growing as protective as you when it comes to the boy," he admitted, sighing shortly. Angeal couldn't fault him for that, and so he nodded in understanding. "I guess I can _kind _of see what you mean. If you met him though, you'd see they really aren't much alike. He's-"

"Gen, I'm not delusional…A few similarities doesn't make them the same person, and it doesn't make him anyone I'd actually be interested in. I wouldn't even consider it! It was never about him. I'd think about her…reflect, reminisce. Zack would catch me sometimes. I didn't think much of it at the time, but he always commented and teased me. It became a running joke between us. I should have been more aware of how it must have looked to him. If I'd have suspected that he-"

Genesis waved a hand to cut him off, still a bit stunned. "It wasn't so obvious at the time. As far as you knew, the whole thing was a joke to him!"

"If I'd just told him about her-"

"You couldn't. It wasn't a coincidence that you found Zack so soon after. You were lost, and he gave you purpose again. He was what you needed to get on with your life…Of course you didn't mention it to him."

"Are you sure he's treating the boy-"

"Yes."

Angeal sighed, barely believing it still. "It just doesn't sound like my Pup."

"Want me to just tell him you're straight?" Genesis offered, leaning against the little table.

"That wouldn't be honest. I'll tell him everything when I return to Midgar. It might be nice to talk about her after all these years."

"You can always talk to me, or Seph. I don't like that you feel the need to keep secrets."

"I don't keep things from you. This was different, and not something I want to discuss regularly. Especially with you two. You were there...I can't bring her up without seeing that look," Angeal whispered, the sadness on Genesis' face making it difficult to control is own. "Even Seph makes that face when I mention her. I know you're both genuine in your sympathies, and I appreciate it, but…it's nice to remember the happy things, too."

Genesis seemed to understand this, though he was unable to change the expression on his face at the memory. "There were plenty of those."

There were no words Angeal could offer. Instead he managed a single nod, taking the time to reel in his emotions- it had taken years of practice, but he was good at it now. "So we agree, then? I'll speak with my Pup, and I'll stay away from the boy?"

"I think you're the one being dramatic now. You can meet him after the term when things have calmed down a bit. It's not like _he _knows, and you wouldn't do anything distasteful."

"We'll see after the term then," he agreed reluctantly.

"Fine."

Angeal leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers on the table for a moment. There was still a lot to process, but he had time to do it. Weeks maybe, until he was able to get back home. His friend, on the other hand, would only be in town for a few more days. It seemed better to use their time together carefully. Genesis seemed lost in his own thoughts, his hand on his chin as he stared intently at the wall.

"Gen…I'm sure you know this already, but maybe my Pup isn't the only one who's confused. You came all this way…it wasn't just to see me. I think you wanted to get out of Midgar to clear your head," he concluded. There was no disagreement, so he continued. "You know nothing can happen, right? It'll be against the contract if you become his mentor."

Genesis' eyes narrowed, but didn't leave the wall. "What does that mean?"

"The contract," he repeated, not surprised that his friend was unaware. "Have you looked into this _at all_?"

"Of course not! I just know I want him to be mine. My apprentice, that is- not_ mine_."

"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?"

"I don't need to convince anyone of anything," Genesis said simply. "That's not how I choose to live my life."

"I hope you don't choose to live it alone."

"You do."

"That's why I hope you don't," Angeal said softly. "I want you to be happy, Gen. I have to admit, I always thought you'd end up with Seph."

"You're joking, right?" Genesis couldn't help laughing at this, despite the strange mood in the room. "That was _years _ago! He and Lazard are pretty serious now. He even lets the director interrupt his precious office time!"

"You know your heart better than I do."

"Angeal…"

"Relax. I won't press you about it until you're ready," Angeal assured him. "Let's talk about Wutai."

* * *

o.o.o.o.o

* * *

It was never a good thing to be summoned to the general's office on short notice, but usually those who were knew exactly why before they entered. Zack was no exception to this, though that didn't make it any easier as he opened the door and stepped inside. Usually Sephiroth greeted him politely, but this time…

He tried to maintain his composure under the general's stern stare. "Hey, Seph."

"Sit."

Zack obeyed, knowing better than to hesitate when Sephiroth used that tone. He'd heard it so many times, but it'd never been directed at him. It didn't take long before he caved under the pressure of the general's piercing eyes- usually Sephiroth was difficult to read, but it was too clear what he was thinking when their eyes met this time. There was nothing in them that he wasn't already thinking about himself, and that was already nearly impossible to deal with...he let his eyes mindlessly roam the office instead, and soon he was tapping his foot restlessly.

"Are you going to force me to explain why you're here?" Sephiroth asked after a moment, finally getting Zack's full attention back. The commander couldn't speak though, his heart already sinking as he felt the sting of disappointment- not just in the general's eyes, but in his voice. "As you wish, then. Yesterday a cadet showed up in my office and requested to be moved out of your combat course."

His heart sank further at these words. He had expected _something _to happen- it'd been on his mind since Cloud walked out of the training room. Over a dozen scenarios had played out in his mind, each making him feel worse about what had happened...being called to the general's office had narrowed down the possibilities, but even still, he hadn't considered _this_.

The guilt had already festered. If Cloud left his class..."You can't let him-"

"That is correct, I cannot. Not because I do not want to help, but because contrary to popular belief, being general does not give me absolute authority. Cadet class scheduling is out of my hands. Even if it weren't, it would be too late in the term to approve- I called to verify after seeing him to the infirmary, and there can be no exceptions."

He had been so sure he couldn't feel worse until he heard that word. "Infirmary?" If nothing else, that explained why he hadn't been able to track down the cadet in the dorms...it was hardly reassuring though.

The general didn't seem to hear his question, instead carrying on as if Zack hadn't spoken. "When I explained this to him, the level of emotional response he exhibited was too extreme for me to ignore."

"Seph, I-"

"No. You wanted me to explain why you're here, and you will allow me to finish before speaking," Sephiroth said, his tone final. Zack sunk in his chair, nodding pathetically as the general continued. "He appeared to have been pushed well beyond the limit of an unenhanced, even for a cadet. He was trembling where you are sitting now, and when I told him that it was impossible to honor his request, he immediately broke down. I have seen my share of cadets and SOLDIERs crying, but never quite like this. When I attempted to-"

"Seph, I can't-"

"You will listen," Sephiroth insisted, offering one last warning stare to silence the commander. "When I attempted to inquire about his reaction, he warned he was about to be sick. I had barely retrieved my disposal bin before he started heaving. After that he attempted to apologize, but became so worked up that-"

"Seph!" Zack exclaimed, running both hands through his hair. "I can't listen to this!"

"You can, and you will," Sephiroth responded, any patience he had gradually diminishing. "I Cured him despite his protests, but he would not remain calm. I had to clear my schedule to ensure he was brought to the infirmary. I will not share all the details, but I will tell you they ended up putting him to Sleep for the evening." He folded his hands over his desk, his stare sharpening before Zack could look away again. "_Why _was a second term cadet pushed beyond his limits and sent on his way without so much as a Cure, Commander Fair?"

He wanted to say that he had offered to Cure the cadet...that he had only come up with a reason to send him away because he knew if he didn't, the boy would have kept trying to push for more- that ordering him to leave had been the only option to get him to stop. It all seemed irrelevant though. They had hit that point because he'd allowed it, and saying anything else would sound like he was trying to justify it...

"I never meant for anything to happen to him," was all Zack could offer, his voice barely recognizable.

"Something _did _happen, and you will explain yourself."

"I can't. Anything I say isn't good enough. I deserve whatever punishment you wanna give me. I probably deserve _worse_."

"Unless you intend to lose your rank over this, you will explain yourself. I may have no control over his schedule, but I _do _have control over-"

"Take it…" All he'd ever wanted was to be a 1st Class SOLDIER...the rank felt meaningless now though. He was no hero. He wasn't even a good instructor. Everything he had ever identified himself as seemed lost. He had been hanging onto it so desperately...and now it was just gone. "I don't know what you want me to tell you." Sephiroth continued to stare curiously, and he knew his willingness to surrender his rank wasn't going to be sufficient. He let out a short sigh, fidgeting with his hands as he tried to come up with the right words. There weren't any though. "I can't explain it, Seph. It'll sound like I'm trying to blame him, and it's not his fault."

"What does that mean?" The clipped tone lightened just a bit and the piercing glare relented. "Zack…This is an unpleasant situation. You are important to one of my closest friends- that makes you important to me. I cannot ignore this though. I need to know what happened. Up until yesterday I had heard nothing but praise about your work as an instructor. Genesis had made an offhand comment about you and the boy, but I was under the impression-"

"I'm not even sure _I _know what happened."

"What does that mean?" Sephiroth repeated, emphasizing each word carefully.

He could only shrug in response, the guilt weighing too heavily on his tongue.

"There has already been an investigation; I just need the specific details. Cadet Strife was too distraught to discuss what happened, but after seeing him and reading the report, I was able to draw some conclusions. From my understanding, you were in a one-on-one session with the boy." He waited for Zack to nod before continuing. "Did you scale back your strength?"

"Yes."

Sephiroth arched an eyebrow. "Did you scale it back enough?"

"No," Zack confessed, closing his eyes as he tried to combat the rising emotions coursing inside him. It was a futile attempt. He took a deep breath, determined to at least _try _to explain. He'd have to say something if he wanted Sephiroth to let him leave, and right now this was the last place he wanted to be- he apparently needed to pay a visit to the infirmary. "I didn't realize until it was too late. I was...distracted. He looked like he was doing so well, and when he didn't say anything, I thought...I _know _him, Seph. He's got more resilience than anyone I've ever met. If I'd have thought he was wearing down, I would've stopped sooner. I just..." He shook his head, realizing it was sounding exactly the way he hadn't wanted it to. "I should've noticed."

Sephiroth nodded in agreement. "There is a difference between resilience and-"

"I know!" Zack hung his head, not able to respond further for a moment. "I'm an idiot."

"If you are trying to get some reassurance, you will be disappointed."

He wasn't. Reassurance might actually make him feel worse, he realized, and that was a strange thing to accept. "I used to wonder…I'd ask myself every day what was so special about him."

"How is this relevant?"

"Because I figured it out. I know what's special about him, and it just made me…" He clenched his fists, frustrated that he couldn't even finish his sentence.

"Are you implying-"

"Just punish me, Seph!" He threw his arms up a moment, letting them fall into his lap as he grasped for the words. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore!"

"Too bad," Sephiroth responded, looking almost amused when Zack frowned. "Did I give you the impression that _I _wanted to talk about this? You created this problem, and you will deal with it." The younger SOLDIER rose to his feet, shaking his head as he silently pleaded with the general to just hurry up and send him away. "I suggest you sit back down. We aren't done yet."

"You don't get it. Whenever I have a problem, I always go to _Angeal_, and he's gone, okay? He's gone and I'm here alone and I don't know what to do!"

It was a painfully honest statement, and not one he had been hoping to make. Admitting how lost he was seemed easier than talking about Cloud though, no matter how childish it made him sound. Any amusement was gone from Sephiroth's eyes, but that didn't help- he was back to his unreadable expression, studying Zack carefully. He wasn't concerned about whatever Sephiroth's reaction would be at that point- he just wanted it to happen quickly. The wait was beginning to overwhelm him, and he already had enough on his mind.

"You have spent the last several months reminding anyone who would listen that you are an _adult_. More than that- you are a SOLDIER. A 1st Class. An instructor. I understand what it feels like to have strong emotions and not know what to do with them, but taking it out on a cadet is unacceptable."

Zack fell back in the chair, slumping as he landed. He knew the general was right, and the shame he felt anchored him there. "He's never gonna forgive me, is he?"

Sephiroth didn't respond to that question. Instead he stared pointedly at the commander before continuing. "Your class will be monitored until I decide otherwise. You will have no contact with him outside of class from now on, and if I hear one word about you treating him-"

"You can't ask me to stay away from him, Seph!" He was supposed to be lectured. He was supposed to lose a rank or lose his class or lose a paycheck. Those were things he could handle- things that might even take the edge off the guilt he felt. He wasn't supposed to be kept away from Cloud though, not when there was so much that hadn't been resolved. "I need to talk to him…to get him to understand-"

Sephiroth waved a hand, cutting him off before he could make his case. "I'm not asking you to do anything. These are orders."

He leaned forward in the chair, his eyes filling with the same desperation as his tone. "You can't-"

"Yes, I can. If he approaches you of his own accord, that is his decision. I doubt he will, and you will not press the issue."

"Seph, that's not-"

"If you had seen him here, you would understand," the general said simply. "You might even believe I'm going easy on you. I tried to have you removed from the course entirely, but Lazard oversees instructor selection. He would not approve it based on the investigation, and that report barely had any information. I will be asking him again now that I have spoken with you, so this conversation may not be over. For now you can consider yourself lucky."

He wanted to argue more, but it seemed there was no point. "You're not taking my rank?" he asked dully.

"Not today. If you can abide by the rules I have laid down, that will not be necessary. I do, however, suggest you start working on a better explanation and apology. Genesis will be back in a few days, and I do not believe he will be so understanding."

Zack frowned. His mind had been so scattered that he hadn't even considered what Genesis would say. "He's gonna kill me, isn't he?"

"Not with a sword." His expression was grim as he eyed the SOLDIER. "You are dismissed."

Zack nodded, not moving from the chair for a good minute as he let it all sink in. Of all the punishments...the general had gone 'easy' on him, and still managed to choose the worst thing possible all at once. How was he supposed to show Cloud he was sorry without talking to him? He had been so determined to get out of that office and go fix things, but now...he had no plan. Sephiroth had already begun ignoring him, resuming his regular work like no one else was present.

It took more energy than it should have for him to stand up, and every step toward the door felt heavy. It wasn't until his hand was on the knob that he turned back, watching the general as he remained engrossed in his work.

"When's Angeal really coming back?" he asked, doubting there would be a response. He needed to know though- it was beginning to feel like his entire existence was a lie, and Angeal was the only one who could convince him otherwise. "I know Gen's with him."

Sephiroth continued working, and Zack continued staring for several minutes. He was ready to take a hint and give up, but finally the general broke the silence. He didn't look up for even a moment, but every word was perfectly clear.

"The situation in Wutai is delicate. There is no set return date, but hopefully Genesis can provide more insight when he returns. You are dismissed."

He knew better than to press the issue again, and so he opened the door and stepped outside as quickly as his weighted legs would allow. It only took three steps before he had decided…he couldn't wait indefinitely for Angeal to get him on the right track again. He'd have to find it himself this time.

And if Sephiroth wouldn't change his mind...he'd have to find another way to make things right.

* * *

**A/N:**

Yessss, rambling twice a chapter! I should have never decided to post a note the end because now I'll wanna do it every time o.o

I just _have _to know though…what do you think of some of the new info? Too much? Too weird? Too soon? Too eh? Too…confusing? I'm curious if it's difficult to keep track of some of the details now, or if some things are slowly making more sense. Of course there's more to come, soon-ish! Let me know what you think!

&amp; Happy Holidays ^.^ Hope everyone's having a great time!


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy New Years!**

* * *

Thanks for reading, as always!

And the reviewers! You make me _particularly_ happy! I don't always expect some of your reactions, specifically about different characters and/or pairing speculation. There's been quite a bit of pairing speculation actually, and it's so, so fun to see what you think or want to see happen **^.^** I'm still fairly new around here, so the whole process is fun (even when I'm stressing over nothing)! I just hit my 2 month mark in the fanfiction realm, so yeah. Y'all are great, I can't say it enough- I'm so grateful that people are taking the time to read and respond to the chapters.

For those of you with questions about Angeal…I'm not ignoring you- I have a hunch you'll get answers in time.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

"Seph!" The general gently pushed Lazard's hand away, opting to shake his head instead of speaking. It was at least his third attempt, and he still hadn't quite gotten the message. They were in Lazard's office this time, and the director had all but sprinted to the door to begin his advances- he wasn't having any luck. "We agree that none of this is either of our fault, so why are we the ones being punished? It's been over a _week!_"

Over a week since recording devices were found in Sephiroth's personal office. Over a week since he had gathered them into a box, thrown them on Lazard's desk, and demanded he investigate the issue. Over a week since he had said no sex until the source was discovered.

How could he be sure who was watching or why?

The general still hadn't forgotten the look on Lazard's face that day- it was all the confirmation he needed to know that the director had nothing to do with the devices. Still, he had to be clear- between ShinRa and the fanclubs, privacy was difficult to come by. His office was supposed to be one of the few places he could go without being monitored. It needed to be secure, and if that meant giving the director incentive to hurry up and investigate, he was fine with that.

Not to mention the fact that it had turned out his office wasn't the only one being monitored. Lazard's office was among those on the list that had been hit, and so it made little sense to engage in any sexual activity in _either _location until there were some answers. Their personal apartments didn't appear to be affected, but that was irrelevant as far as the general was concerned.

There were more important matters on his mind. A lot had happened since that day.

"Perhaps you feel punished. I feel fine."

Lazard's gaze narrowed skeptically, his hand extending between the general's legs and settling on what was becoming a more prominent erection. Just because _he _wasn't interested in the director's advances didn't mean his body wasn't. "Fine? You're telling me you don't to throw me down and give this to me? Because I'm about ready to try that on you at this point."

"It would be interesting to see you try. I would never allow anyone to touch me in a manner which I do not approve."

"You _would _approve. I'd make sure of it."

"Do you have news from the investigation?" he asked, grabbing the director by the wrist and guiding his hand away. "Otherwise this conversation is pointless."

"You know the latest," Lazard replied with a defeated sigh. "Likely terrorist organization. I think the Turks have it narrowed down to three." The general brushed past the director, moving across the office- it didn't seem appropriate to continue their discussion while standing near the door, closed or not. He began analyzing the explanation as he moved...the whole situation seemed off. It would be one thing to think terrorists could infiltrate the base, but his personal office? The offices of multiple executives? These were highly frequented areas. Patrolled buildings. They would have required assistance to accomplish such a task. "We haven't found any more in here...You've been searching your office since, I assume. Have _you_ found more?"

"No," Sephiroth admitted, confident there hadn't been any recurrences yet. He had worked a thorough office sweep into his morning routine since the devices were discovered, and continued to do so every time he left and re-entered the room. "I do not believe they would risk trying again. I made the mistake of mentioning my suspicions before I had searched the outer office, so there is a chance they are being cautious as a result."

"Your privacy is secure then!" He was walking as he spoke, a bit too eager in his approach. "Seph, there's no reason we-"

"I came here to discuss Commander Fair, not to talk in circles about a decision that is not up for debate."

Lazard came to a halt upon hearing these words, crossing his arms as he eyed the general. "Is that what this is really about?"

"I just said-"

"No, I get that's why you're _here_, but is that the real reason you're still holding out on me? You're mad that I wouldn't replace him, aren't you?"

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. He wasn't _mad, _but he certainly wasn't happy either. "It would be the appropriate thing to do."

"No, it's not. That entire term of cadets is scoring higher than any in the last five years, and you _know _he has something to do with it! If I had it my way, he'd never go back to field duty- he's the kind of instructor we need to get the best out of these kids. Maybe there was a problem with _one _cadet, but as a unit, that class is being set up for success by him," Lazard insisted, moving a hand to his hip as he tried not to let Sephiroth's stare deter him. "I know he's close to you, but you can't act like this doesn't happen all the time! Instructors play favorites. You can't hold Fair to a higher moral standard just because you _like _him."

For a moment they just continued to stare at one another in silence. It wasn't often they disagreed so completely on a work related issue. They each had areas they understood better than the other, and usually respected each other's opinions enough to compromise. This matter had become an unresolved issue between them though, and one neither seemed willing to budge on.

"That is exactly why I can hold him to a higher standard," Sephiorth said finally, shaking his head just slightly. "You also seem to forget he was not playing favorites, he was playing least favorite. There is a difference."

"No, Seph, there's not," Lazard insisted. "This program makes SOLDIERs- it's not some private academy for pampered rich kids. The weak need to be weeded out, and you know it."

"Strife is not weak. He's on top in every single class aside from-"

"What good is a SOLDIER who can't perform well in combat?" Lazard interjected, frowning at the general.

"Do you truly believe an unenhanced could last so long in combat against a 1st Class SOLDIER without being at least _somewhat _capable? His marks are not an accurate reflection of his capabilities in that course. You seem to also forget there is more to being a SOLDIER than fighting. He could outperform most 3rd Classes with materia, not to mention he has a natural gift for strategy and-"

"You looked into the kid?"

"I would not assign anyone to Genesis without looking at the file."

"That's more than you can get from a file," Lazard said pointedly.

"I spoke with his instructors," Sephiroth admitted, not bothered by the director's surprise. It wasn't like him to show special interest in a cadet, but the entire situation was atypical. "We have a responsibility to act when a SOLDIER behaves inappropriately."

"I _want _to be on your side about this, but by the book he did nothing wrong. My hands are tied."

"So were mine. I still managed to do something about it."

"And you shouldn't have. There aren't enough SOLDIERs to have one babysitting his class-"

Sephiroth raised both brows just slightly, but enough for Lazard to notice. "Are you certain you wish to discuss this?"

"Seph, I'm not speaking to you as a friend, or as a boyfriend- I'm speaking to you as the Director of SOLDIER. You report to _me_. You can't-"

He cut himself off, realizing in a hurry he had taken the wrong tone and chosen the wrong words. The damage was already done though. Sephiroth had straightened where he was standing, and even though his expression didn't change, the director shrunk back instinctively.

"Perhaps I should speak to you as General then," Sephiroth concluded. "I am not a glorified secretary. I do not simply do as you request without thought, or mindlessly hand out the assignments in the manner which you recommend. I know my men better than you do. If I choose to assign one of _my _SOLDIERs to supervise a class, then that is what will happen. If you have a problem with this, I suggest you demote me. I would rather return to field duty anyway- I've made this abundantly clear on numerous occasions."

Regret was etched onto the director's face, but it wasn't enough to change the mood in the room. "You know I can't do that. Seph, I-"

"If you had actually read my report, you would know that I requisitioned a Turk for the task, not a SOLDIER. Rufus approved it days ago. It turns out Commander Fair has become quite popular outside of ShinRa. His reputation reflects well on the company, so they would prefer this incident remain a one time thing."

Lazard opened his mouth, but seemed to know better than to respond this time. Sephiroth had moved from his desk already, done with this meeting. The director kept a safe distance as the door opened, trying to will the general to look at him- he didn't though. Sephiroth didn't need to turn to speak the last words that he needed the director to hear.

"I may report to you, but never make the mistake of believing you are my superior."

* * *

o.o.o.o.o

* * *

Just another lap.

That was what he had told himself three laps ago, but it still didn't seem to be enough. His fitness class usually started with eight laps around the track, so really…what was a few more during his free time? The burning in his chest hadn't begun yet and he could still feel his legs, so he knew it was fine- he knew he could push further, push faster than he ever had if he just kept going…

Just another lap.

The panting had begun two laps before. Even Nerro had given up running by his side at that point, and his roommate was more into fitness than anyone else in their class. He was more of a weight lifting guy, Cloud figured, so it wasn't so strange that _he _could run a bit longer. Running was his thing- people could call him a runt all day, but they couldn't tell him he was slow. They couldn't run as far or as fast. Usually distance and speed runs were two separate things, but that difference had been blurred from the start.

"Cloud, that's enough!"

He ignored the shout, recognizing his roommate's voice from the benches as he pressed forward. Everything did feel a bit strange now…and his pace had decreased involuntarily despite the fact that everything around him felt like it was moving faster.

Just another lap.

A pain in his knee was a warning to stop, and perhaps one he had been trying to ignore for one lap too many. He rounded the starting point one last time before slowing his pace, gradually allowing his heart rate catch up a bit before coming to a complete stop.

Maybe there had been a burning in his chest after all. He felt it now that he was done, still panting as he bent over and rested his hands on his knees. His eyes fell to the benches where his roommate had been, but it seemed Nerro was no longer there- all that remained was his water bottle, and as soon as he could, he intended to go retrieve it. He just couldn't move yet. Not without fear of falling- his legs were incredibly wobbly all of a sudden, and the sensation was a welcomed relief.

When his legs were wobbly, and there was a sharp pain…that was when he knew he'd pushed it hard enough. That was when he knew he'd hit a moment- a short window in his day where he was tired enough. Exhausted wouldn't be the right word. He _knew _what exhaustion meant now and this was nothing in comparison...but it resembled exhaustion, almost. Just enough that all the thoughts crowding his mind would quiet down for a bit. It was a small period of his day where he could just stop thinking…stop worrying…while his body was arguing with him, nothing else mattered.

At this point he was willing to try anything to reclaim his mind.

"Hmm, this position could certainly work."

He hadn't even heard anyone approaching. As far as he knew, it had just been he and his roommate, opting to use the old outdoor track instead of the one that surrounded the indoor gym. The lap markers were worn down and there were cracks in its surface...No one bothered with it because the indoor track was so well kept. That was the point though. He'd wanted to be alone- away from prying eyes and unwanted questions.

Of course they wouldn't know about the subject he was trying so desperately to forget, but they _would _wonder why he was spending so much of his free time there. That in itself was an unpleasant reminder. Having Nerro tag along was bad enough- he only allowed it because his roommate was stubborn.

It took a moment for the voice to register in his mind, and another moment for the words to process. It was a voice he had missed, and one that made him wish he hadn't burned quite so much energy away. Before he could react to it, hands were on his hips, causing him to jump up- not in surprise, but in acknowledgement. The touch seemed to give him just enough adrenaline to spin around before he fell into arms that caught him just in time.

He was dizzy from the rapid movement, but managed to play it off as if he'd tripped. It only felt natural to wrap his arms around Genesis at that point, and his mentor didn't seem to mind. Everything was gradually slowing down, steadied by the familiar arms that had wrapped around him. This was what he needed- more than a track, more than a good night's sleep. Several minutes passed like this, and somewhere during that time the window in his day began to close. Luckily his mind was filling with thoughts of the man in front of him rather than the frustrations he was trying to forget. There were other concerns that came along with his return, but mostly...Cloud was relieved to have his mentor back.

"You know...you're sweatier than usual, and it's almost as attractive as I imagined," Genesis teased, a hand sneaking up to ruffle the spiky locks that had become somewhat tamed from the dampness.

Cloud pulled back just a bit, looking down at himself before looking back to his mentor apologetically. It had definitely been more than one lap too many- his shirt was saturated too. "Sorry."

"I was bound to see you like this eventually," he said, winking at the boy. When he seemed stable enough on his feet, the SOLDIER released him entirely, watching curiously as he swayed a bit. "How long have you been out here?"

"Um…a while I guess," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I don't have any materia with me," Genesis said, frowning as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out an object the boy recognized, tossing it to him without pause. "Drink it."

"Gen!" he groaned, clutching the it in his hand. It would be counterproductive to drink a potion at this point. "I'm fine."

"You look like you're about ready to fall over, Blondie." He crossed his arms, staring pointedly at the boy until conceded, opening the small bottle and forcing it down. "Do you need to sit down?" He shook his head, feeling _too_ good now- he much preferred the natural phenomena of feeling better in his mentor's presence to the rejuvenation he felt now. "Don't you run in one of your classes?"

"I've just been trying to stay busy while you were gone." It wasn't a complete lie- more of a half truth. Yes, he wanted to clear his head...but his day to day _was _dull when he couldn't spend his mornings with Genesis. Studying could only occupy him for so long, and it was difficult to focus on textbooks lately. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I told you I'd find you first thing…I went to your room and your roommate said you'd be here." Cloud frowned, wondering how long it'd actually been since Nerro left. It seemed like it had only been a few minutes, but if he made it all the way back to their room, he must have walked off long before he even noticed. "Something about 'thank the Goddess you're back, Commander Rhapsodos, he's lost his mind without you'…What exactly does that _mean_, Blondie? Did you miss me _that _much?"

"Of course I missed you! Nerro's just exaggerating though. He thinks I'm pushing myself too much, but it's just a couple extra laps!" Something about the suspicious look in his mentor's eyes told him this explanation wasn't sufficient, but he didn't want to elaborate. Another half truth seemed in order. "I didn't have training with you, so I had all this extra energy!"

"He said you were in the gym more too…That wasn't the only odd part," Genesis noted, shaking his head. "Apparently you have all this energy to run and exercise, but can't seem to make it to your combat course. Why is that?"

His expression hardened, matching his resolve. He hadn't gone back to class since his one-on-one, and if he had it his way, he never would. It wasn't a subject he wanted to discuss though, and just trying to find the words was painful. He had built a delicate wall around the emotions he'd felt that day, and it was only a matter of time before it crumbled if he opened up about it so soon. It couldn't feel as bad as it had that day...but even a fraction of that seemed like it would be too much to deal with again.

It felt like wishful thinking, but he had to at least try to delay this conversation. Genesis was back...this was his chance to be a in good mood, legitimately, for the first time since it had happened. He couldn't let Commander Fair take that away from him too. He didn't want to see pity in eyes that looked so much better when they were filled with amusement.

"Gen, can we…just this once, can we talk about it later?" he asked slowly.

"You're supposed to be able to tell me anything, remember? I haven't been gone _that _long."

It wasn't entirely shocking when his mentor wasn't convinced so easily. The slight offense in his tone only made Cloud feel worse.

"I know, and I _will_ tell you, just…please? You're back, and I just want..." _to be happy for a minute. _

He held back the thought, knowing it would only prompt his mentor to prod him further. Genesis already looked torn, and he didn't want to fuel his curiosity any further.

"Just this one time," he relented, not seeming pleased by the idea of it. "You'll have to tell me before we train tomorrow though, _and_ you're going to have to start going to class. My cadet doesn't skip unless _I'm _dragging him somewhere, and a track definitely won't be my first choice."

Cloud dropped his gaze entirely, fixating on one of the cracks in the surface below his feet. "Technically I had permission."

"I'm fairly certain no one has that kind of authority," Genesis told him, arching an eyebrow. "Missing a day or two is one thing, but a week?"

"Commander Fair told me not to come back until I figured out what my dreams were, and I'm still thinking it over."

_Over and over…and over. _His cursed the unwanted commentary in his mind, almost ready to take off for one more lap no matter what his mentor had to say about it. Genesis seemed to notice how uncomfortable the boy was growing, which didn't help. The questions didn't need to be voiced...they were just lingering in the air between them, souring the mood.

"Dreams?" the SOLDIER repeated, shaking his head at the word. "Angeal really did rub off on him...I doubt he was speaking literally though. Instructors can't send you away indefinitely."

"He'd be glad if I never went back."

That seemed to have pushed Genesis to the edge of his patience. "Blondie...I need you to explain. I thought the two of you were working it out?"

"You agreed already. I'll tell you tomorrow."

"You know, Angeal and I talked a lot about all this mentor business, and he told me I didn't know anything about tough love. Was he right?"

"No!" Cloud exclaimed, finally looking up. It was a relief to see Genesis didn't seem annoyed at least- just bemused. "I just-"

"Or was it _rough _love?" he pondered, a hand on his chin. "Surely I know something about _that. _We could work on it together, if you really don't want to tell me!"

The boy smiled begrudgingly, wondering how he had ended up with such a strange mentor. "I'd rather agree to that then-"

"What did he do to you?" Genesis pressed, half teasing as he eyed the boy. "You wouldn't play along with that joke unless-" He cut himself off, eyes narrowing in a hurry. By the time his hand landed on the cadet's shoulder he was looking too serious for either of their liking. "What did he do?"

"You said we could talk later!"

"Mentor privilege!" he declared, as if it were a technical term. "I'm allowed to change my mind about these things. Today, tomorrow- it's not going to matter when you tell me. You may as well get it over with."

Cloud blinked, trying to hold his ground, but gradually failing. He'd learned the day they met that Genesis wasn't the type to just let things go, so it felt pointless to keep stalling...he had to try though, at least one more time. It was his first chance to be at ease in too many days, and it would be ruined if he caved in about this.

"I'd rather go to a fan club meeting than talk about it right now," Cloud said firmly, hoping to lure the SOLDIER into teasing him instead. It was a bad attempt- the perceptive stare he was receiving was unwavering still. "You should ask the general later, and we can just train, or-"

"_Seph _knows, but you can't tell _me_?" he asked incredulously.

"You told me to go to him if I needed anything while you were gone."

"And what did you _need_ from him?"

"To get moved out of Commander Fair's class."

"And now you're running laps instead of going to class. I assume he told you no, then?" The boy nodded in affirmation. "What could he have _possibly _done that made you want to switch courses at this point?"

"Everything! I'm just sick of it all." Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to contain the feelings welling up inside him. His wall was going to break if Genesis asked again- he couldn't keep dodging the subject. By the time he opened his eyes and exhaled he was ready to plead. "I can't go back."

"I'm the first one to ignore the rules around here, but if you aren't going to class you could get removed from the program entirely."

"I don't care," he insisted, choking on the words.

His heart ached from the admission. Joining SOLDIER was all he had ever wanted. The look on his mentor's face only amplified the pain he felt, but it didn't make his words less true. It was beginning to feel like all his ideas about SOLDIER, SOLDIERs, the program...all of it, everything he had thought or expected- it had all been a lie or fantasy. 1st Classes were supposed to be SOLDIER's finest, and Zack Fair was supposed to be the 1st Class' nicest. What did that say about the rest of them?

Genesis...he didn't really count. He was in a class all his own, far beyond the boundaries of anyone's expectations. "You don't mean that," he said, confidence in his soft tone.

"Yes, I do. You're the best thing about this place, and I'm just a project to you."

"Project?"

Cloud nodded his head pathetically, not even able to look at the SOLDIER anymore. It was another subject that had weighed on his mind- something that had become impossible to ignore in Genesis' absence. He wasn't even making progress after all their sessions, apparently...what was the point? Whatever Genesis got out of their sessions seemed like it might just be a temporary form of entertainment.

"You just put up with me because you're bored. You told me yourself, if Commander Hewley weren't gone, you'd never have-"

"If..._if_ he hadn't gone, I may never have found you. But he _did _go. I have you now, and I'm keeping you," Genesis told him simply, stepping in closer as he spoke. A hand on his chin tilted his head up, but he closed his eyes before allowing himself to lock onto Genesis' gaze. There was no way he could hide his worries if their eyes met, and he couldn't take any more questions. He could feel his mentor's stare though, and the warm breath grazing his face. "I don't do projects."

"What am I then?" he asked, with disbelief rather than curiosity.

There was no reply. It took a few minutes in awkward silence for the boy to open his eyes, tentatively meeting his mentor's. It seemed Genesis was searching for the answer himself, meeting his eyes immediately. He'd already taken enough hits to his confidence...What if he were right? His heart plummeted further at the thought, and the silence did nothing to cushion the fall. There was no good reason for someone like Genesis Rhapsodos to put up with him.

"Stop doubting this. Not just me...stop doubting yourself," he said finally, as if it were so simple.

"That's not an answer, that's-" His words and apprehensions dissipated as Genesis' eyes flickered down.

Awareness was much easier to maintain when he wasn't lost in his mentor's eyes, and in that moment he realized how close they were standing. He had felt it, of course- the soft breathing on his face and the heat of a body nearby...It hadn't registered as anything of interest though.

They had been like this before, too many times to count- always too close for comfort. Somehow it had always been okay though, even the times when he felt anxious or embarrassed by onlookers. It was always a joke or a show for Genesis' entertainment- there was always some lesson...some justification for his strange behavior. This time though, there was no readily apparent reason for it. There was no audience. No cause for embarrassment or comment to draw attention to it.

This felt inexplicably different. Everything about the proximity was familiar and typical, but the sensation tearing through his body...that was new. The way his heart was racing...there was nothing normal about it.

"Genesis?" Cloud whispered, growing more alarmed by the second.

The SOLDIER's eyes snapped up upon hearing his name, but he seemed frozen otherwise. "Cloud..."

Hearing his name stirred something deep inside him that he couldn't quite identify, and it tugged on something instinctual. He found his eyes falling to his mentor's lips, drawn there by some innate fascination. He couldn't remember ever hearing his name leave those lips...or hearing _anything_ in that tone. Before he could decipher any of it though, it was all torn away. Genesis took two large steps back, and Cloud inhaled a deep breath with each one. He hadn't even realized he was short of breath. His eyes were still wide as he stared at his mentor...if it hadn't been for his own abnormal heart beat, he would have thought he'd imagined the whole thing. Genesis looked as composed as always- cool, confident, and unaffected.

"I need to know what happened to you while I was gone," he said calmly, a moment after the cadet's heart rate had steadied.

"I don't wanna talk about that." He didn't know _what _he wanted to talk about, but he knew those words were true at least. "Gen..."

"If you won't tell me, I'll have to go get it out of him," the SOLDIER warned, offering a weak smile. "I get the feeling I'll have to talk to him about it either way." Cloud shook his head, not able to get out any other protest. None of that mattered anymore- he just didn't want Genesis to go yet. "I have to know, and it can't wait. I can't have you talking about not wanting to be here."

There were at least six questions that came to mind in response to this statement- long, specific questions. All he could manage was one word though. "_Why?_"

"Blondie...I don't wanna talk about that."

The weak smile faltered before he turned away entirely, his brisk stride taking him away far too quickly. Cloud watched him helplessly, too overwhelmed to follow. There were so many questions were flooding to the forefront of his mind- too many memories hanging in doubt. It seemed like Genesis was taking all the answers further away with every step...

"Gen, wait!"

Maybe it was spoken too quietly, or maybe he hadn't gotten the words out at all- he wasn't sure. All he knew was that Genesis didn't stop. The brief happiness and relief he had felt were gone. All of his previous concerns still present, but overshadowed by more pressing ones.

There was only one way he could think of to handle it all, and he was already in the right place. That potion had set him back nearly an hour, but...at least the pain in his knee was gone for now.

Just another lap.

* * *

**A/N:**

Two quick notes:

1\. Once upon a time I was like 20 chapters ahead on this story, but then I started doing longer chapters and changed the direction a tiny bit, so I'm writing as I go now. I don't _think _it'll impact my update intervals, but you never know- seems right to give y'all a heads up just in case. Let's be honest, so far I fail at waiting, and I'm okay with that. This update was only delayed because...well...I'd like to blame the holidays, but I've posted so many random things lately that obviously I've been around. It's just difficult to focus and edit lately- posting nonsense is one thing, but I want to be careful with this. Sleep woes. If this one came across rushed or had too many typos, please let me know and I'll take more time/be more awake next time. Everything looks better when you're tired...pretty sure that's my slogan.

2\. I'm gonna go put some toe socks on. Brrrr winter! Don't judge me. Reviews? Not about socks...about the story o.O

**EDIT: 1/4/15- **A few people sent me messages, so for anyone else harboring the same curiosities, let me just say...I am not a liar. I can't offer an elaborate reassurance or I'll spoil things, but there is a purpose for most of the things that may seem out of place or like filler.


	13. Chapter 13

About that time I said there probably wouldn't be a delay, and then it basically happened immediately after o.O I'm just gonna bite my tongue about these things from now on, promise! This chapter proved to be a bit more difficult than I expected, and I ended up re-writing it more times than I'm willing to admit. **Massive thanks to Tobirion** for reading this one ahead of time and giving me the courage to post ^.^ This chapter seriously stressed me out!

Annnnd of course, thanks everyone for being so patient, and for reading! I hit the 100+ review mark last chapter, which is a milestone for me since joining the site! I'm so appreciative of you all- I know a lot of you review basically every chapter, and I can't say enough how helpful that is. You give me the confidence to keep going, and I can't properly express how grateful I am. So **thank you, thank you, thank you** everyone who has taken the time!

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

* * *

He had been waiting for Cloud's return to class, but still felt entirely unprepared when it finally happened. There was no relief- no instant change in any of the circumstances. Zack hadn't actually expected any, but it still felt surreal to see Cloud _right there_, and realize exactly how far out of reach he was now. Maybe it was the fact that the cadet wouldn't so much as look up at him, or maybe it was the fact that he hadn't returned alone…in a way, it felt like he was still gone.

Zack stared helplessly, debating his options. He was determined to say _something, _but there was only so much he could do under the circumstances. Most of the class had been curious about Cloud's prolonged absence, and having Genesis stroll into the room with him drew the attention of even the most disinterested cadet. The boy clearly wasn't enjoying the extra attention from his classmates, so a public apology didn't seem wise.

"Welcome back," he managed, aware it wasn't enough.

If a roomful of curious cadets weren't a big enough deterrent to refrain from saying more, Genesis' presence was. The elder SOLDIER had stopped a few paces away, a silent and unnecessary warning not to bother trying anything. His eyes were still fixated on Cloud though, waiting hopelessly for some kind of response. When it became clear that there would none, he forced himself to face his friend, ready to get it over with- he was still an instructor, and class needed to begin. The greeting he wanted to offer didn't make it past his lips, so instead he gave a brief nod of acknowledgement that went unreturned. They had already exchanged plenty of words, and it seemed the only thing Genesis had to add was a sharp stare before he moved to the far corner of the room.

Somehow he managed to begin the lesson, drawing in the full attention of the cadets as he demonstrated the stances they'd be attempting. The term was well beyond the halfway point now, and they'd be beginning more advanced training the following week for the duration of the term. The class as a whole was doing well, and he wasn't worried about Cloud falling behind even after missing a week. He'd been exceeding expectations since they'd begun sword training, and Genesis had already indicated he'd go over any missed material with Cloud individually.

What if Cloud needed help _during_ class though? The question crossed his mind in a hurry when it was the class' turn to practice the stances he'd demonstrated. It was a bit frustrating to think about. Zack had stubbornly avoided offering him individual assistance all term, and now he was bound to that behavior. Sure, Genesis was there to watch now, but he wouldn't be able to attend every class. The class would be monitored regardless, and he'd have to stay away whether he liked it or not.

He frowned at the thought, but as he watched Cloud, he knew it was unlikely the boy would _actually _need help with anything they'd be covering.

"Good job, Cloud!"

He didn't have to step in close to offer an energetic compliment, and no amount of scrutiny would stop him from trying at least that much.

Maybe it was silly, but he was hoping if he could just get Cloud to look up, the cadet would see exactly how he felt about everything that had gone wrong between them. Strange things always happened when their eyes met, and he was certain even now that would be true.

It stung when he didn't so much as get a glare from the boy, but it _was _only his first day back. Every guilt-ridden day apart had been an opportunity to reflect on everything, and he knew his original, hasty plans weren't going to suffice. The odds of resoliving anything so soon were slim, especially with Genesis watching so closely. He avoided glancing to the corner where his friend had settled, already able to imagine the look on his face.

Nothing about Genesis' return had gone according to plan…

_"Class is dismissed!"_

_The declaration was both loud and dramatic, made from the doorway as Genesis entered the room. Zack froze for a moment, unsure how to react. He had been expecting his friend to turn up, but not quite like this. It was obviously more than just a friendly visit, and this wasn't the best place for it. One of their apartments would have been preferable, so they could discuss everything point by point in a relaxed setting._

_Technically Zack was in charge of the students, but objecting wouldn't help his situation. He echoed the dismissal, studying the redhead carefully as the last baffled student exited the room. From the look on his face, he knew something was amiss, but the lack of anger seemed a good indication that he didn't know much else. He pulled the door closed before leaning against it, arms crossed and eyes impatient._

_Zack tried to start things politely, asking about Genesis' trip to 'Rocket Town', but the redhead clearly wasn't in the mood for pleasantries. He jumped right in, asking his question pointedly, "What did you do to him?"_

_After Sephiroth's lecture, Zack had spent a lot of time thinking about everything that had happened. While most of his energy went into planning how to apologize to Cloud, he'd considered what he'd say Genesis as well. _

_Too many conflicting emotions had taken control, and he'd made a lot of implications about his friend as a result. He regretted the things he'd said as much as his actions that day—believing the rumors that something was happening between the cadet and his mentor, and assuming that even if it weren't true, something _would _happen…Genesis was his friend, just like Cloud had tried to remind him, and he owed his friend much more than the quick answer that was being demanded._

_"Okay, hear me out," Zack started, standing his ground as best he could. He'd planned to say so many things, but it was difficult to piece them together now that Genesis was actually in front of him. "You remember how everyone used to call me a prodigy? They thought I was good at everything? It turns out-"_

_"What did you do to him?" Genesis cut in, more emphatically this time._

_"I'm _bad_ at this, Gen," he confessed, hoping his friend could see his sincerity._

_He didn't need to tell Genesis that he'd never had a reason to feel jealous of anyone before Cloud came along- they'd discussed that, at least vaguely, when they discussed his feelings for Angeal. It was the things Genesis didn't know that he needed to say next, and that was more complicated. He was sure his friend would understand if he could just find the right words._

_How could he admit how twisted his feelings had become? From the guilt his behaviors had caused to the desires his dreams had sparked...How could he explain how irrational his fears had become? From the possibility of Angeal's feelings for Cloud to the thought of Genesis' intentions with him…_

_Every contradicting thought left him more and more frustrated, and each time he thought he had one figured out, another would surface. Instead of truly addressing any of it, he'd taken a leap- Cloud was at the center of it all, and he'd prioritized fixing things over understanding them. The guilt he'd felt over his actions seemed more important than the reasons behind them._

_He'd been impossibly hard on the cadet, ignored his requests for help, given his opponents excessive attention, suggested the cadet leave the program entirely…he'd done so many things on a daily basis, more than he could even remember, and alleviating the guilt from those actions had become his main goal. Understanding how he felt about Cloud had been pushed aside, and so had his feelings for Angeal- he'd made too many quick conclusions, and just assumed his mentor would help him sort the rest out later. Those feelings were the root of the problem though, and he should have known that he couldn't avoid them._

_Cloud's presence had stirred every twisted feeling, and his words had triggered every irrational fear. All at once he'd been gripped by the things he'd ignored, and the abundance of it all pushed him to the point of distraction. It wasn't until things were too far gone that he'd felt any clarity, and even then he hadn't truly understood the things that overwhelmed him. Seeing how far he'd pushed Cloud without even realizing…watching the determination turn into disdain…_

_It was the biggest mistake on his list, and one he hadn't been prepared to handle. Having Sephiroth tell him what had happened to Cloud after he was sent away that day had been as harsh as the punishment itself, and it all just forced him to stop and figure out how the situation had gotten so out of control._

_Between the guilt, regret, and worries, he still didn't understand it all, but it made a lot more sense. More than anything, he wanted to be able to explain it to Cloud, but he hadn't had the opportunity. It was clear he'd have to find a way to say it all to Genesis first, and he could see that he wasn't off to a great start. His friend was showing no signs of sympathy, and his patience was rapidly dwindling. Zack __took a deep breath, determined to get it all out correctly this time- determined to handle this conversation better than he had with Sephiroth._

_"I've never felt so many things at once, and I know I messed up again, but-"_

_"Focus. Did you insult him again, or-"_

_"No, but…" He scratched back of his head, looking to Genesis with a growing desperation. If he didn't want to hear everything yet, maybe he'd consider something more important. "I need your help."_

_"My help?" the elder SOLDIER repeated, almost amused at the notion. "I already tried to give you my help, and what good did it do? I warned you to stop, and you didn't listen."_

_"I did, I just wasn't-"_

_"None of that matters right now. I just need to know what happened."_

_There was no point in delaying or trying to explain anything, not while Genesis was so adamant about hearing what happened first. They had known each other for a long time…An explosive reaction seemed unavoidable, but surely Genesis would listen to the full story after. Maybe he would even ask for more information, the way Sephiroth had._

_He hesitated a moment anyway, knowing he was about to disappoint his friend in an unimaginable way. "I didn't hold back as much as I should've, and I didn't realize until I'd pushed him too far."_

_There was no response for a long moment; only a blank stare that gradually hardened. Zack held it, not so much as blinking as he tried to convey a silent apology. If Genesis understood that apology, he wasn't accepting it- his eyes were sending back a very different message, and he shook his head just slightly before opening the door and exiting the room._

_Shock, dismay, relief…there were a few things that surged through him briefly, but he didn't take the time to weigh them. Instead he hurried out the door to follow, knowing their conversation wasn't quite finished._

"Commander Fair?"

Zack turned his attention to the student who had spoken his name, preferring not to relive what had happened when he caught up to Genesis. He'd been so sure he was ready to face the consequences of his action like an adult, but that had been another thing he was wrong about.

He continued down the line, staying as busy as possible as he followed his routine. Help whoever wasn't doing well, watch the cadets spar, offer tips when he could- and most importantly, watch the blond cadet closely. That had always been a part of the routine, and while the reasons were different, he saw no reason to change that now.

"Good job, Cloud!"

There was really no way to say it more enthusiastically, but it still got no response.

He caught Genesis' eyes before moving in to help another student, watching as the redhead shook his head. 'Good job' obviously wasn't eloquent enough for Genesis, but it wasn't like his friend would tell him what else to try. He'd hoped for some suggestions…guessed the best way to gain Cloud's forgiveness would be with the help of their mutual friend. Attempting to persuade Genesis of that? Well, it hadn't been his best idea.

_"You weren't my mentor, but you were always there, all these years. I know he means something to you, but I-"_

_"You're not the one running yourself into the ground."_

He hadn't figured out what that meant exactly, but there was a hint of urgency in Genesis' tone when he'd said it. The way he'd walked away…there was purpose in his step, and so Zack just let him go that time. It hadn't been the end of their discussion, just the end of their second attempt at a discussion. Several hours had passed before the third began, initiated when Genesis turned up at his apartment. The anger he'd originally anticipated had been present that time, but Zack had been more determined than before to get his friend to understand.

That hadn't gone well either.

_"Seph already told me-" Zack started, the stare Genesis sent his way cutting him off in a hurry._

_It seemed Genesis was more interested in making demands than hearing about what happened; getting the cadet excused for missing classes, and offering another warning to stay away. He wouldn't even sit, instead opting to stare down at Zack who had inadvertently shrunk into his own couch. Every time the younger SOLDIER attempted to jump into the conversation with more than a concise 'yes' or 'no', he'd sink further into the cushions as another glare hit him._

_All the harsh words and stern stares…it was like they were meant for someone else. Sephiroth and Genesis were people he could always count on, and the fact that they hadn't been able to count on him was barely feasible. If he hadn't been living with the constant burden of the memories…the guilt he felt over everything he'd done to Cloud…he wouldn't have believed any of it were possible._

_"Gen…" There were still no signs of sympathy, and the tension in the air seemed to be building rather than diminishing. "We're gonna be okay, right?"_

_"That depends on you."_

_He stared up helplessly, at a complete loss for how to proceed. "Tell me what to do, and I'll do it. I want to fix all of this."_

_"It's not that simple anymore."_

_The only thing comforting about that statement was that Genesis' tone had softened, just slightly. Zack nodded, not wanting to argue even though he still had no idea what to say or do next. At least with Sephiroth he'd been able to think of it as a work related reprimand, even if it had been much more than that. This was personal, and there was no way to avoid acknowledging that fact. These were people he respected…friends whose opinions he valued second only to Angeal's._

_His heart sank further at the thought of his own mentor. Angeal had been more than just a simple teacher- he'd been a role model, instilling values into his student and shaping him into a better man. There was no way he wouldn't find out about everything that had happened with Cloud, and when he did...His friends expected better from him, but Angeal? Angeal had _taught _him better. _

_In all their years together, he'd never actually seen his mentor become angry- even on the most stressful missions, he was always composed and in complete control of his emotions…nothing seemed impossible at this point though. He'd never disappointed his mentor before, so he had no idea what to expect. Would it be worse because Cloud had been the target of these behaviors?_

_That was something he couldn't think about yet._

_"I'll do everything you're asking," Zack promised, trying to focus on his current situation. "Any paperwork about missed classes, I'll sign. I'll give you the list of everything he missed so you can show him. Seph already punished me, and-"_

_"I already spoke with Seph, and I'm handling this situation now."_

_For a second that renewed his hope. He sat forward on the couch again, staring up pleadingly. "Let me see him!" Cloud was still the priority- even if he could manage to get his friends to forgive him, he'd still never forgive himself if he left things unresolved with the cadet. "I can make it up to him."_

_"No."_

_Maybe it was childish, but it didn't seem fair. "Why not?"_

_"Because you are not sorry," Genesis said simply, ignoring the baffled look Zack offered in response. "Until you can convince me otherwise, you won't be making any further attempts with him."_

_"But I-"_

_"You're not sorry."_

Zack had been too dumbfounded to respond, and the redhead was out the door again before he could object. Before he could tell his friend that it wasn't true.

He _was _sorry.

He'd made a fourth and fifth attempt at telling Genesis as much, showing up at the elder SOLDIER's apartment each time. The fourth attempt had been his worst effort yet- Genesis had opened the door, but refused to let him inside.

_"I made a big mistake, and I really want to fix it. I didn't understand everything I was feeling, but I get most it now, and if you just let me-" _

The door had been slammed before he finished that sentence, and he got the distinct impression Genesis stopped listening even when he continued talking. It wasn't the most prepared speech he'd ever given, and so the fifth time…he'd rehearsed what he intended to say, sure that it would be better. He hadn't been allowed inside again, and the redhead looked more impatient than before.

_"I'm sorry for what I did to him. Not just that day, but every time. There were probably things that he didn't even tell you about, and I regret every single one of them," he began, relieved that the door was still open. "This is gonna sound weird, but I was jealous, and it wasn't just about Angeal. Cloud is—" He cut himself off, a bit uncomfortable as a few SOLDIERs passed by. They greeted the pair loudly, glancing back curiously as they continued on their way. "Gen, can you just let me inside? I really wanna talk about this. If you'll listen, I can tell you anything you wanna know about what happened or how it went so far. Please."_

_Genesis eyed him critically for a moment before shaking his head. "I still don't believe you," he decided, shutting the door once more. _

_At least it hadn't been slammed, which felt like progress…it wasn't nearly good enough though. Zack leaned against the closed door, unable to walk away so easily. "At least tell me if he's okay. He's been outta class for so long now." There was no response, which was frustrating. It didn't seem like an unreasonable request. He wanted to ask about Angeal too, but Genesis wasn't even supposed to have been in Wutai- he couldn't just shout out his questions in the hallway. "Gen, you know me…This isn't who I am, and I can fix this if you just let me."_

He'd waited at the door at least twenty minutes before giving up that time, his periodic knocking ignored. What else was he supposed to say? It wasn't as if he were given enough time to get out more than a few words. Something was obviously missing from his attempts, but he couldn't figure out what Genesis wanted to hear.

As he watched Cloud now, he wasn't any closer to figuring it out. His feelings were the only thing that seemed clear. Between spending so much time reflecting, and seeing him again after so long, it just felt obvious. All of the circumstances had been well beyond the cadet's control, and blaming him in any way was wrong. He cared about Cloud more than he should- he admired the cadet's resolve, found his behaviors endearing, and felt completely captivated by him.

None of those thoughts were a betrayal of his feelings for Angeal, or a betrayal of anything. They were just natural, the way the cadet seemed to draw the attention of everyone. He'd pulled Genesis in without even trying, caught Angeal's eyes in some weird way- even Sephiroth had been compelled to protect him, which was definitely odd. Maybe their feelings toward Cloud weren't as complicated, and maybe they didn't have any romantic intentions…it didn't matter. It still felt like proof that there was something special and undeniable about him. Instead of begrudging Cloud for getting their attention, it felt like it was time to surrender his own.

Well, to an extent at least. He couldn't really consider it further while he was still weighed down with so much guilt and regret. All he could allow himself to see was a talented cadet who deserved a much better instructor, and all he could do was try to _be _a better instructor.

"Good job-" An averted glare was plastered on the cadet's face before he finished this time, and he heard Genesis snort from the corner.

Their reaction was disheartening, but there was no alternative. At most, he could come up with other compliments to try for now- Angeal used to tell him 'nice work', and he'd always liked hearing that. A direct approach wasn't an option. He couldn't do anything during class, couldn't pull Cloud aside, couldn't have him stay after- now that Genesis had 'taken over' the situation, it had been made abundantly clear that approaching the cadet outside of class would essentially be unforgivable. It wasn't an order the way it had been with Sephiroth- it wasn't a matter of rank or a paycheck. He needed to find a way to resolve things _and _salvage his friendships. Preferably before Angeal got back from Wutai.

Time was up as he debated using the word 'awesome', and he was somewhat thankful for that. Nothing felt like a huge improvement over 'good job', and it'd be easier to come up with something better without other students calling for his attention. Cloud had returned, and that was something to be happy about. In a few hours he'd be able to go plead his case to Genesis again, and then maybe he wouldn't even need a better phrase. If he could just prove that he meant it, he could do something more substantial.

A flare of something irrational struck him as he watched Genesis move to Cloud's side, and he watched them carefully as they exited the room with the rest of the class. It wasn't pleasant seeing them together, despite the fact he'd rationalized that he was wrong about his assumptions. Even if nothing were happening, they still got to spend time together while he couldn't so much as look at either of them the wrong way now. The important thing was, now that he could identify his jealousy, it was easier to handle.

* * *

o.o.o.o.o

* * *

They were a safe distance down the hall before Cloud looked to his mentor, still frustrated from the lesson. His first day back in Commander Fair's class definitely hadn't gone the way he expected. Genesis was a good three steps ahead of him though, only glancing back once as they headed toward the building's exit.

It hadn't even taken a day before the SOLDIER had resumed a somewhat standard routine with the cadet, and he was too appreciative of that to question the silence between them now. Genesis had shown back up at the track after what seemed like only a few minutes to find Cloud sitting on the benches, fidgeting with his water bottle before staring up in surprise. Then he had scolded the cadet- apparently there was a fan club meeting he was 'supposed to have known' about, and there was just no time to waste sitting around. By the next morning Genesis was pounding on his door, wondering why he was late to a training session they technically hadn't scheduled, and by that afternoon Cloud remembered most of the things he liked about the training program.

A lot remained unspoken between them, but it was mostly a relief. The boy had surmised that Genesis knew at least vaguely about what had happened with Zack, but it hadn't been mentioned at all since the initial inquiry. His irrational fears went unacknowledged. Doubts or concerns about seeming weak or disappointing just didn't exist with Genesis back. It was like his mentor had never even considered those things, and so no reassurances were necessary.

Genesis hadn't pressed the class issue until his fourth day back, and Cloud didn't even try to argue at that point. Yes, he was nervous, but if it meant staying in the program...staying with Genesis and pursuing the dreams he'd chosen...of course he would go. The determination that had been so shattered had been carefully pieced back together, and he could see things more clearly with it.

Only one person had the power to drive him to such an extreme, and situations like that were avoidable. Commander Fair wouldn't control his life.

That was what he had told Genesis when the class issue came up, and he'd gotten a fond nod of approval in response. After that, Genesis' expression had become more serious than he'd ever seen it. He'd been concerned at first, until his mentor spoke. Then he understood.

_"You will never so much as think about quitting again."_

The words had been more of an order than a request, but Cloud readily agreed with all the confidence he'd begun to rediscover. Genesis had stared at him for another minute, nodding again before teasing the boy for being more dramatic than _he _was.

The fact that Commander Fair could affect him so drastically was too disturbing to be funny, but he'd tried to laugh anyway- it had been right before the walk to class, and he needed to harden his resolve before going in. He'd made a solid plan during the walk; focus on his opponent, and ignore his instructor as much as possible.

That hadn't gone well. He hadn't anticipated being told 'good job' every time he so much as blinked, and there only seemed to be one reason for it.

"He did it on purpose," the boy concluded, shaking his head as Genesis looked back at him again.

His mentor slowed his pace, allowing the cadet to catch up before responding. "Did what?"

"He kept _saying _it." The thought only made him more irritated. Why couldn't that man just leave him alone? "I'm never gonna hear the end of it now."

"From the other cadets?"

As if they didn't have enough to talk about already- he'd been fending off their questions for over a week. "Yeah."

"You were doing such a _good job _though," the SOLDIER teased, his smirk breaking into a short laugh when Cloud glared. "Well, for the most part you were. I really don't understand _what _he was hoping to accomplish by saying it so often. He even said it when your footwork wasn't correct."

Cloud's eyes grew wide as he processed the last bit. "Wait, what?" he asked suddenly, trying to remember what he had done. The repeated exclamations had left him too distracted for most of the lesson. "Why didn't you say something? I would've fixed it!"

"You didn't even want me in the room," Genesis reminded him, bemused as Cloud frowned. It wasn't that he didn't _want _Genesis there, he just didn't want the added attention from his classmates. His mentor had made it clear that it was nonnegotiable for at least a few days though. "Our sessions will be different beginning tomorrow, so I don't expect it'll be an issue for long. You were overcompensating because your opponent was larger."

"What do you mean different?"

"You'll find out tomorrow," his mentor responded, the promise in his tone only making the cadet more curious. Genesis had already moved on though, his eyes lighting up momentarily as he stared down. "I borrowed Seph's stamp and authorized myself to take you out. Are you interested?"

"Out?" he repeated, his voice quieter than he'd intended.

He felt ridiculous almost immediately, unsure what to make of the question. There were several logical possibilities, but the illogical ones crossed his mind anyway. Every one brought out what was becoming a familiar sensation inside him, serving as a reminder of another unspoken issue between the two. Something inexplicable had happened between them, and if Genesis hadn't stepped away…They hadn't actually discussed what happened or almost happened, but he was sure he hadn't imagined anything. They would have kissed. Even admitting it to himself sent his heart racing, and he knew he was blushing- it didn't matter though. His mentor wouldn't be teasing him about it.

When Genesis took that step back, everything changed.

There was a distinct lack of physical contact between them, and Genesis was always at least a full step away. Eye contact occurred, but briefly. They still joked around, but in a different tone- certain subjects were avoided entirely. The SOLDIER carried on like it had always been that way, and Cloud played along willingly.

At first it had been a relief. He knew he couldn't put off thinking about what Genesis meant to him indefinitely, but too much had happened. He needed to focus on himself- focus on clearing his head and getting to a better place. It was surprisingly easy to do that when Genesis wasn't standing quite so close or making strange comments. He could _really _listen and absorb every blunt or insightful word his mentor had to offer. All of their conversations maintained a natural flow, and so it was still easy to get caught up in them.

It was supposed to be temporary though.

He'd either assumed or hoped it was Genesis' way of giving him space to recollect himself, but he wasn't so sure anymore. Several days had gone by, and even though he felt better, the gap between them showed no signs of closing.

"On a mission," Genesis clarified after a moment. The response was so casual that Cloud wasn't sure if his mentor were unaware or _too _aware of everything flooding his mind. "Well, it's just a patrol actually. It won't be very exciting, but I was hoping to give you a glimpse of the job. Not all missions are glamorous or take us away from the city."

The sting of disappointment was undeniable, but he tried to hide it. "Okay."

"You don't look excited."

"You just said it wouldn't be," he replied quickly, shrugging with as much indifference as he could muster. Genesis wasn't fooled by the attempt, his stare asking the question for him. "I just…I don't know. You said out, and I thought…"

Another shrug, and this time his mentor nodded along. "Thought I meant out of the city?"

"Yeah." That was one of the possibilities he'd considered- _out _was a vague word. If the SOLDIER wasn't convinced by the hesitant tone, he gave no indication this time, looking ahead as they exited the building. "Silly I guess."

"I didn't want to push my luck. Technically it's against policy, and Seph takes his authorization stamp _very_ seriously."

The boy couldn't help but laugh a bit at this, though it made him feel uneasy about the whole thing. "Does that mean I'm allowed to go, or not really?"

"Are you questioning an authorization letter with General Sephiroth's official stamp of approval?"

"You said you stole-"

"Blondie, what am I going to do with you?" Genesis interjected, letting out an exasperated sigh. He was definitely _too _good at weaving the conversation back into something that legitimately sounded like their normal banter. "_Borrowed!_ Seph and I share things all the time. He just pretends not to notice, and I think we can all agree it's better that way."

"We just went through a lot of trouble to make sure I _didn't _get kicked out of the program. I don't think-"

"Didn't I tell you to stop doubting me?"

No matter how carefree the words came out, they still hit hard. Cloud came to a halt, remembering all too well when Genesis had told him that. Remembering how close they were in that moment, and knowing how far apart they felt now. He wanted to bring it up, but he wasn't sure what to say. Even if he avoided mentioning the fact that they nearly kissed, how could he explain that he missed all the awkward behaviors and jokes that usually embarrassed him?

Instead he tried to focus on the statement itself rather than the memory and awareness it evoked. "I didn't know that applied to _everything."_

Genesis came to a halt as well, a hint of a smile on his face as he looked at his cadet. "Of course it does. Do you truly believe I'd bring you if there were a chance you'd get in trouble?" he asked, the smile growing when Cloud shook his head. "Seph was in the room when I used his precious stamp, so it was basically official. You're not authorized to bring a weapon yet, but that won't be a problem while I'm with you. There's a reason I don't get sent on patrols."

"Why are we going then?"

"I want to show you-"

"I know, but why are we _really _going? Why now?"

"You could use some air," Genesis said simply, shrugging as Cloud stared up in surprise. "All we do around here is train, and other than that, it seems like all _you_ do is study and go to your classes. I'm flattered that my fan club meetings are the highlight of your week, but it would mean a lot more if you were doing something other than studying every other night." Another awkward pause. He wanted to scoff at what had obviously been a joke, but all he could manage was to open his mouth just slightly. The SOLDIER gave him a moment to get in some kind of retort before continuing, not skipping a beat. "I talked with Seph, and he agreed to stop sending me out of Midgar until after Angeal returns. In exchange, I have to do these silly patrols. Apparently they don't want to pay me if I'm not working."

Cloud's mouth opened further, but this time in awe. "You don't have to do that for me!" He'd assumed his mentor meant _one _patrol, not regular patrols. "I'll be fine if you need to go somewhere. I'm not going to be alone with him, so-"

"If anything serious comes up, I'll still be sent. In the meantime, I _want_ to do this with you," Genesis insisted, silencing the cadet with a wave of his hand. "The more of these we do now, the easier it will be for me to pester Seph into letting you come along for interesting missions when everything is official between us."

"Okay."

He wasn't completely satisfied with the explanation, but it was all a bit overwhelming. No matter what the real reasoning was, it was still a big sacrifice for someone like Genesis to make...someone who could get virtually any assignment he wanted at any time. The fact that he would _choose _to do 'silly patrols' in Midgar was absurd.

Genesis was eyeing him carefully, too observant as usual. "You look distant now. Do you not want to go?"

"I do! I just…" He couldn't even finish the sentence in his mind, let alone out loud. "I'm glad you're back," he said, settling on the next best thing.

"I'm an easy man to miss."

"I mean it!" The whole thing seemed crazy, but he was definitely grateful. Genesis had done so much for him already, and he'd barely even thanked him. Maybe there were multiple explanations for the gap between them. "I was ready to give up, and I-"

"You don't have to explain that," Genesis cut in, his tone soft. Finally he held the boy's gaze for more than a second, and the relief was instantaneous. So much of what he wanted to say was unnecessary, and he could see it clearly. "I understand. We have a special bond."

Nothing could stop the smile that was growing on his face. "We do?"

"Of course," he said, completely serious for just a moment before a smile crept onto his face as well. "I have a special bond with all my fan club members."

This time Cloud managed to scoff at the joke, rolling his eyes as Genesis laughed. Another moment that almost fit perfectly into their old behaviors…The subtle differences were still obvious to the cadet though, no matter how typical things appeared. If things were truly normal, a warm arm would have wrapped around him as they began walking, and nothing would have felt out of place. Instead there was a cautious distance that was growing more difficult to ignore.

Every time his thoughts lingered on the changes between them, a nagging memory would replay in his mind.

_"Even things that sound normal aren't normal for him. He doesn't hug people, or-"_

No matter how unwelcome the voice was in his mind…he couldn't keep denying the possibility that those words had been true. Maybe things had _never _been normal between them. He wasn't quite sure what that made their old behaviors, but he was sure of something else. If this awkward distance counted as 'normal', then he didn't want things to be normal with Genesis.


	14. Chapter 14

**So just a heads up:** I'm going to go back and edit some _structural/technical_ details into some of the early chapters because there were some kinda basic details I glazed over that I should have expanded on. _Nothing has changed yet!_ I'll let you know when that happens, and in which chapter(s), and probably give a brief rundown in an A/N for anyone who doesn't wanna go re-read anything. It'll literally be nothing that will change the actual plot, just...hopefully clarify how the process of becoming a SOLDIER works, how the mentor program works, and a few other story-specific details. If there are any other technical questions you have about how something works in the story, feel free to let me know, and I'll address them as well. Or any questions at all, really.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

It was becoming a tiresome routine, returning home after a long day to find Zack patiently camping his doorway. The younger SOLDIER seemed to have figured out that sometimes his knocks were ignored even when Genesis was home, and so he had resorted to arriving before the redhead got home to make sure he had his chance for the day. The only redeeming thing about this was that Zack at least tried to be respectful- he had access to Genesis' apartment, but never attempted to enter of his own accord.

This time though…it was later than usual, which had been intentional. Genesis had made it a point to pester Sephiroth for as long as the general would tolerate it, trying to stay busy and away from his apartment- curious to see how deeply Zack's persistence really ran. Fairly deep, it appeared, as he was _still _waiting.

The sight alone strained Genesis' resolve more than he ever would have admitted aloud. Zack was sitting cross legged, eyes closed and head resting back against the door. He'd fallen asleep it seemed, determined to be heard regardless of how long he had to wait. It was irritating, but Genesis approved of it nonetheless.

The redhead debated briefly about maneuvering around him, but it seemed inevitable either Zack would wake up in the midst of it, or he'd topple backward into the apartment as the door opened- that certainly wasn't an option. Instead he opted to reward his younger friend's patience with a swift, yet gentle kick to the boot- just enough to wake him. Grudge or not, he couldn't bring himself to kick any harder than that- it was still Zack, and for more reasons than one, this _particular _grudge was beginning to feel more drastic by the day. Even by his own standards.

It was astonishing how long it was taking Zack to figure out what he needed to say so that they could move forward.

Another soft kick, and this time pale blue eyes blinked opened sleepily. "Wake up."

"Gen, 'm s'rry," Zack mumbled, attempting to rub the sleep from his face before jumping to his feet. He steadied himself against the closed door, still a bit groggy as he met his friend's eyes. "I'm sorry," he repeated, this time more firmly.

The redhead stared at him expectantly, ready for the standard routine to ensue. "And?"

"And nothing," the younger SOLDIER responded, shrugging helplessly. "I'm sorry. I got nothing else today, just…100% apology."

Genesis eyed his young friend critically, assessing his statement the way he had every day since he'd returned to Midgar. "Why aren't you trying to explain anything?"

There were three possible answers, each equally possible at this point- he was too tired to say more, he'd run out of things to ramble about, or…

"Because that's it. I've got a couple speeches ready if you wanna hear one, but the only thing that matters is that I'm _sorry_."

Genesis reached around, unlocking his door and opening the door to his apartment. Zack had already stepped aside, thoroughly defeated as the redhead brushed past him to enter. It took a good minute before he realized the door hadn't closed. The elder SOLDIER had already kicked off his boots, and was in the middle of shedding his leather jacket as Zack watched him tentatively, barely taking a single step inside.

"You left this open on purpose, right?"

He gave the younger man an impatient stare, but relented after a moment. "Yes. Come sit down."

Zack was wide awake now it seemed, shutting the door quickly as he moved to Genesis' kitchen table. The elder SOLDIER had walked off again, deciding he'd rather get comfortable before engaging in this conversation _again. _It seemed like maybe Zack was beginning to understand, but there was a good chance the conversation would still head in the wrong direction when it was underway. Giving Zack a minute to collect his thoughts would increase the odds that this wouldn't be a total waste of time.

When he reemerged from his bedroom in his cozy red pajamas, he gave the hopeful SOLDIER a very clear look; no matter how comfortable _he _was, this would not be a comfortable conversation. Zack nodded in wordless understanding, but it didn't dampen his excitement. It was progress, no matter how serious Genesis attempted to look in his fluffy sleepwear.

"We have a problem," Genesis declared, sitting down across from his young friend.

The younger SOLDIER looked oddly amused by this statement, but to his credit, he refrained from expressing it. "…I kinda noticed."

"A different problem" the redhead corrected, rolling his eyes as Zack smiled just slightly. "I want to forgive you. I don't, but...I _want _to."

The hesitant smile grew broader. "Because I'm too cute to be mad at?"

"Definitely not," Genesis replied curtly, not so easily drawn back into their old jokes. That kind of comment used to work when Zack got restless in his apartment and knocked something over, or stole the last cookie which Angeal had _obviously _left for Genesis- not for this though. "Blondie's _much _cuter, and he's not so hard headed."

"Yeah, but you don't get mad at him."

"Of course not. He wouldn't make such a massive mistake though."

"You woulda said the same thing about me a few months ago," Zack reminded Genesis, and there was no denying it was true. Maybe Zack didn't make mistakes often. The problem was, what he had done this time…and more importantly, _who _he had done it to…well, it just wasn't acceptable. "For what it's worth, I want you to forgive me too. I hate being like this with you."

The redhead echoed the thought, but gave no indication. It seemed to go without saying that being dreadfully serious and irritated was less preferable than what their friendship normally was.

"Tell me what happened."

"I thought you didn't wanna hear any of it."

"No. I didn't want to hear it before your apology was sincere. If you're not rushing to explain or justify your behavior, then I assume you're finally seeing beyond your own guilt." Genesis continued to watch intently, and Zack offered a hesitant nod. "Then, yes, I would like to know what happened."

"I still feel guilty," he admitted, grimacing as the words came out. It almost looked like he was waiting to be scolded, but when nothing was said, he took the opportunity to keep going. "Honestly…I was just selfish. I felt bad, I wanted to fix things, and I didn't stop to think I wasn't ready to fix anything."

"Okay."

"It's not okay," Zack disagreed, a bit too adamantly. Genesis shot him an indignant look before he realized that it was just a prompt, not a reassurance. "I kinda have these weird feelings for him. Good feelings, but, I didn't _want_ to have them- not about a student. And it was worse because everything with Angeal, I just felt weird about it. There were dreams, too," he explained, growing more comfortable with every admission. The redhead didn't look entirely surprised by any of it though, granting him silent permission to continue. "I heard more rumors about you and him."

"Why would _you,_ of all people, care about those rumors?"

"I know I shouldn't have. Used to tick me off when people assumed things about me and Angeal, but then I heard about you and Cloud and I just…at first I _didn't_ believe any of it, but then Kunsel told me some stuff too. I couldn't imagine him making it up after he saw how much that kinda stuff bugged me back then." He paused again, waiting for some kind of annoyed reaction or comment. It never came though; Genesis dropped his gaze for a moment, but it snapped back so quickly that it was barely noticeable. "He was telling me about it that morning, and then when Cloud and I were talking…it all came up. Angeal, you, the rumors- everything. It just hit me all at once."

There were a few things Genesis _wanted _to say about how ridiculous that sounded, but it seemed like maybe Zack already knew that much. Most of this he'd pieced together from Zack's quick outbursts and what he'd learned from Cloud and Sephiroth.

There were more important things to address at this point- other reasons that he needed to help guide Zack out of this situation now. It wasn't just a matter of trying to forgive a good friend for making his first big mistake, and it wasn't just because that good friend was his oldest friend's student…

"He told me it was his fault," Genesis revealed, looking as displeased as he sounded.

Zack blinked in disbelief. "_What_?"

"Not everything. Just what happened that day. He said he provoked you, and then kept going even when you tried to stop."

"That's not true. I mean, it wouldn't have gone that way if I'd just-"

"I'm inclined to agree with you, but…" He shook his head solemnly. "That's what he told me, and he wouldn't lie."

"I'm not saying he lied, I'm just saying-"

"I know. Don't misunderstand; _I_ still believe this is entirely your fault. You obviously pushed him to that point, and I think he recognizes that- but he still feels at least partly responsible."

"I can't believe he'd blame himself for any of it. I just…I went off on him, and even before that I was a total jerk. He shouldn't have even agreed to _go _to that one-on-one after everything I'd done. That kid's-"

"Be very careful with what you say next," Genesis warned, his eyes narrowing in anticipation. The conversation was almost going _too _well, but one wrong word would change that drastically.

"…He's got a big heart."

It was unclear if it were a correction, or what Zack originally intended to say, but either way the statement was accepted with a nod. "He does. I suppose you could also blame me for him going to your one-on-one though. He had changed his mind, you know._ I_ trusted you though. I told him to give you the chance. That he'd always wonder what may have happened if he didn't go."

"Gen…I'm sorry," Zack whispered, the same words again, but they sounded so strained this time. "It's not your fault, at all. Or his. This is all me."

"I've come to realize none of this is about blame, so much as it's about _him_. It doesn't matter what happened, it matters that it _did _happen. And actually, I'm not glad it did, but maybe it's what he needed. He was doing well before, but he's working twice as hard now- I wouldn't have even thought it was possible. It's like he's on a personal mission. We expanded our training, and I think it's given him a new perspective on a lot of things."

"I noticed some changes, but…I didn't say anything," he said, which Genesis already knew- he'd warned Zack to stop with the pointless praise the day after it'd begun, and so far the younger SOLDIER had met all his demands. Cloud was just another cadet in class, and the only things he received from his instructor were stray glances. Genesis had stopped attending classes shortly after, but he kept tabs well enough. "What're you doing differently?"

"I was worried about hurting him if I pushed him too far, but you went ahead and did that for me, so I see no reason to hold back now. I'm going to make sure nothing like that ever happens to him again," Genesis explained, shaking his head just slightly. "If that means putting his training ahead of my own amusement, so be it."

Zack seemed a bit surprised, but held most of it back. "So you're just…taking it more seriously now?"

"There's more to it, but I don't expect you to understand. Our relationship is different than what you had with Angeal- he needs help in different areas than you did. It'll be easier when I can control his schedule, but for now, he's been responding well. He's beginning to understand that his confidence isn't dependent on me or you, and that's the important thing. We hit a snag though, and I figured out what it was..." Genesis paused, staring at Zack thoughtfully for a long moment. "It always seems to point back to _you_. I told him we didn't need to talk about what you did that day, but he said something was bugging him still- that he wanted to talk about it so he could move on. He seems to think because he's partially to blame, that it shouldn't have an impact on our friendship."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. It's part of the reason I was so inclined to listen to you today," the redhead admitted, staring impassively as Zack frowned. "Apparently I need to get over this in order for him to get over it. So that things can get back to normal_-_ those were his words, not mine. I'm not sure it's that easy, but maybe it's a start for something else. If things are _normal _between you and I, then there won't be a reason for me to keep you away. He thinks avoiding you is the answer to all his problems, and I'm not convinced I should be encouraging that train of thought."

"Really?" Zack asked, perking up just a little.

"It was a short term solution. Avoiding his problems will only work for so long, especially when he's forced to see you every day. Even after the term, I think it'll just follow him unless he addresses it. He needs some closure." He was watching Zack carefully, his expression growing more critical by the second- there was just no reason for him to be smiling so much about this. "Don't get the wrong idea about what that means. What he needs from you isn't a good talk, or a friend- he doesn't even want to look at you yet."

The smile cracked instantly, but there was still hope etched on his face. "What's he need then?"

"That's for him to decide. If we can sort this out tonight, I imagine you'll begin your apology attempts tomorrow. He'll react as he sees fit, and if he tells you to _back off, _you will." Genesis shot him a glare, pleased when he detected no signs of disagreement. "He may come out more confident than before, really. It'll be exactly what he needs to truly get beyond this."

"And by _beyond this_ you mean…going back to ignoring me."

"It seems likely."

"So you want him to confront me, and then...ignore me," Zack concluded, sinking in his chair when his friend nodded in affirmation. "Guess I deserve that."

"I'm glad you understand that now. But really, it's not as bad as you make it sound. You're the one who wanted to be a better instructor, right?" The younger man regretted the nod as soon as he offered it- he knew the smirk on Genesis' face too well. "Well, this has truly been an invaluable lesson in adversity. _Good job_."

Zack groaned at the words, which only made Genesis laugh. "Is there a version of this where I apologize to him and he doesn't hate me still?"

"I already told you, he'll react as he sees fit. You're determined and persistent, but I'm not sure it'll get you far with him. I can't say I blame him for that."

"You're still not gonna help me?"

"I need to help _him_ with this one," the redhead replied, any remaining amusement fading quickly. "If this hits a point where helping you_ is_ what helps him...then, yes. Right now that's not the situation we're in."

"So am I allowed to talk to him?"

"I'm still not convinced you're ready. Have you worked out your feelings for Angeal?"

"I think so."

"He's doing well, you know. You haven't asked about him since I returned."

"You didn't give me the chance to ask," he replied, clearly relieved to hear the news. "Is he coming home soon? Seph's been blowing me off still. He won't tell me anything new."

"Seph will forgive you when I do, which will hopefully be by the end of this conversation. He's been a bit strange about this whole thing- it's not every day a cadet strolls into his office and has a panic attack over something _other _than shear anxiety caused by his presence. I would have loved to have seen the look on his face, really," he admitted, though he couldn't laugh at the thought- not when Cloud was the cadet involved. "I asked him to look after Blondie while I was gone, so that made the whole thing worse. Obviously I didn't expect _Seph _to babysit, but…"

"He still thinks he should've been able to help more," Zack guessed, confident in his assessment despite Genesis' indifferent shrug. "You guys are worse than I am."

"Really?" A hint of amusement laced Genesis' voice.

"He's been in love with you forever now. Just cuz he doesn't show it doesn't mean it's not obvious. Even _I _can see it, and I'm not great at figuring these things out."

"You don't know what you're talking about. Again."

"Angeal told me you were together before he took me as a student, and I know your breakup had something to do with him. And I know _you _told me something about knowing a _great deal _about love...Who else could it be?"

"That was all years ago, and we've both moved on with our lives. The circumstances and timing were never right, and I'm okay with that. So is he."

"You're not denying it though- you were talking about him, weren't you?"

"I wasn't referring to him in the manner which you assume," Genesis explained carefully. "You really need to speak with Angeal before I can say anything more about this."

Zack arched an eyebrow. "Angeal?"

"Yes. It's complicated," he stated simply, shaking his head again. "And if the timing weren't right back then, it's certainly not right now."

"Because he has Lazard?" Zack made a face at the mention of the director, eliciting a slight smile from Genesis- neither of them were Lazard's biggest fans, for their own separate reasons.

"No," Genesis responded after a moment, looking a bit smug about his answer. "That was more of an arrangement than a relationship, and from what I understand it's…as Seph described, no longer a priority."

"Uh, pretty big coincidence, don'tcha think? Lazard insists on keeping me as an instructor, then Seph decides to change his priorities?"

"Quite a coincidence."

"Seph wouldn't have been so pissed about all this if it hadn't been _your _cadet."

"I wouldn't have been either," Genesis replied, seeing no point in hiding that fact. He probably wouldn't have even believed it or thought twice if someone else were involved. "It doesn't change anything"

"Just seems weird that you're both ignoring it when-"

"It's not going to happen," Genesis cut in, still indifferent about the whole thing. Zack sat back in his seat again, trying to bite his tongue despite the desire to continue. Things were starting to feel more fluid between them, but they clearly weren't there just yet- it wasn't the time to push his luck. "We're getting off subject here- I need to know how you feel about Angeal."

"Uh…I love Angeal, but I don't think I'm _in _love with him."

Genesis arched an eyebrow. "Are you saying that because that's how you feel, or because that's what I told you the last time we discussed this?"

"I'm saying it because it's the only thing that makes sense."

"You obviously have no idea."

"I…guess not?" he admitted slowly, scratching the back of his head. "I just think after everything I really need to see him first to be sure. It's the _only _thing I haven't worked out, but it's not a problem this time. I get it now. Angeal wasn't creeping on Cloud, he wouldn't do that. There's some explanation, and-" He cut himself off, mirroring Genesis' curious stare. "You know more about that now, don't you?"

"Yes."

"…You're not gonna tell me?"

"No. He wants to tell you himself."

Again Zack fought the desire to press his friend for more information, settling on an equally important concern instead. "Do you think he's gonna be mad too?"

"Mad?" Another smile pulled at the corner of Genesis' mouth, and it grew as he continued, "I hope so. I haven't seen Angeal legitimately _mad _in years- it's always entertaining. For me, at least. That time you dropped his sword in the mud didn't count, trust me."

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I! He's a force to be reckoned with," Genesis said, laughing softly as Zack shifted in his seat. "You'll find out what he thinks when he's here. You're still dealing with me right now, and I don't see why any of that matters. You can go think about that in your own apartment- if you want to stay here, start talking about why I should believe that you 'get it'."

Zack held back any further comments, fixating his stare on his hands for a moment; he'd begun to fidget, taking the pause to get himself back on track. "I _do _get it. That stuff with Angeal was probably nothing weird, and even if it was…that's okay. It's not Cloud's fault, and it doesn't change how I feel about him."

"About him…Cloud? Or Angeal?"

"I was talking about Cloud, but I guess it'd apply to both."

"And how _do _you feel about Cloud?"

"I already told you."

"You said you have _weird feelings_\- this really isn't the time to be vague. If you want to approach him, I need to know everything. It doesn't matter if I believe you or forgive you, I'll keep you away if I think there's a chance you're not ready."

"I like him," Zack admitted, seeing no point in hesitating. "He put up with all my shit, all this time, and he's…I dunno. It's like he knows a side of me that no one else does. I kinda feel like I know a different side of him too, after all this. I wanna know _more _though- I wanna show him that _I'm _more. I know I have a lot to make up for first, but I think we could be friends when this is all done. And then maybe…" He shrugged again, growing a bit uncomfortable under Genesis' gaze. "I'm not gonna screw up again. I'm not gonna try to rush anything this time."

"I believe you."

"Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," Genesis relented, watching as the tension was lifted from his younger friend. Zack visibly relaxed, a small smile on his face as he muttered a 'thank you'- it wasn't a smile that could be returned yet though. There was still one last topic they needed to discuss. "I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to wrap your head around it before you even think about speaking with him. You tend to snap every time you discover something new, and it's important you snap at _me _this time if you have a problem."

"Okay." He sounded wary, but he had every reason to be.

"The rumors you heard…they hold a bit of truth."

"I kinda figured that much- I've seen you together. That's just how you are with him. I shouldn't have taken it so seriously."

"At the time you shouldn't have. Things are different now."

An awkward smile tugged at his lips as he eyed the redhead, like he was waiting for the punch line to a bad joke. It never came though. Neither did an explanation or elaboration- the only thing Genesis offered was an uncharacteristically patient stare as he waited for the words to seep below the surface.

"Different how?" Zack asked finally, a hint of disbelief in his tone.

* * *

**A/N:**

A bit shorter than the last few, I know, but there was a reason I didn't tack on anything else today- this scene was like a massive block in the road that I had to drive right into in order to speed back up/keep going, if that makes sense o.O

I'm curious how people are feeling about Zack at this point. Last chapter the feedback was basically universal- that he just wasn't there yet. I have a thought process about how this is all gonna play out, but I'm wondering if we're on the same page about where he's at currently- I'm gonna hold back my own opinion for now. Other types of feedback are welcome as well, of course!

_Thanks for your support_, always, and hopefully see you next time ^.^ To make up for the recent delays, I'm actively planning to update again very soon, and...yeah, I'm doing the rambling thing _again._ Oops.


	15. Chapter 15

All right! Early(ish) update as planned! Thanks for reading, all the lovely reviews, and the support.

skiestrife- I'm working on it, promise! I can only seem to write that story when I'm in the weirdest state of mind, but it's coming along, slowly.

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

Nothing had happened. Yet.

It was the one thought Zack hung onto as he worked through how he felt about Genesis' confession- the way his friend spoke so candidly, answering all his questions until most the night had elapsed. They had both been tired, but the redhead was determined to stomp out any remaining confusion or frustration in one sitting, and...he had succeeded, for the most part.

There were a few good reasons nothing had happened between the two, and the fact that Genesis had stopped to consider them...well, it seemed like a good indication that the redhead was actually serious about the possibility that something _would _happen between them. The only mystery was the simple fact that he'd never known Genesis to wait for anything he wanted, regardless of the reasons- it seemed like maybe there was something else holding his friend back this time.

"Can you stay after class a minute, Cloud?"

He wasn't the type to wait either, and it was time to remember that.

At the end of their discussion, Genesis had given him the go-ahead to apologize…there was no class monitor, and there hadn't been for several days. The only thing preventing him from acting was his own lingering concern about saying the wrong thing- it wasn't a matter of jealousy or confusion though. After spending so many hours talking it out with Genesis, he had a stronger grip on his emotions, and he wouldn't lose hold so easily. Everything he'd worked out on his own felt reinforced now, and even hearing about his friend's feelings for Cloud didn't change that. Maybe a relationship between the two was inevitable, and maybe it wasn't- either way, he wasn't in a position to have a strong opinion about it.

All he could do was tell Genesis that it didn't sound like a good idea, but it seemed like his friend already knew that much.

The pressing concern was still Cloud- how to approach an apology. Even if he didn't say the wrong thing, it seemed like there was no right thing to say either. He couldn't keep putting it off though. It felt strange, realizing he was actually _nervous _to speak to Cloud alone after all this time. Another emotion he virtually never felt, brought out so easily by such an unassuming cadet.

Obviously Cloud wasn't surprised that he was being asked to stay after class, though he did appear less than pleased. Genesis had probably told him this would happen at some point…had Cloud thought about what would happen when it did? Maybe he'd be prepared to air his grievances, or maybe he'd carry on ignoring his instructor through it all. It was difficult to tell _what _he might be thinking- he remained rooted in his spot, arms crossed and eyes down as his classmates shuffled toward the door.

The loud comments the students were making as they exited the room did nothing to lighten the mood in the room.

"Do you want me to tell them to stop?" Zack offered tentatively, a bit put off by the entire situation. Even an unenchanced would be able to hear them clearly, wondering aloud about their instructor's attitude change toward their classmate. They all liked their instructor, and so naturally they were questioning Cloud's character rather than Zack's- another burden he'd inadvertently placed on the cadet. "I can-"

"Don't," Cloud snapped, eyes darting up with the word. Any thought of having a magical moment when their eyes met was quickly shattered by the power of the cadet's glare, but he'd known that was a silly notion anyway- their problems ran too deep. He was just relieved to have the cadet looking at him at all, for the first time in far too long. "You'll just make it worse."

"Okay," he agreed readily, knowing from firsthand experience the cadet was correct. That didn't take away from his desire to use his authority to tell them off, but…they weren't the priority. "Let's forget about them then. I was hoping we could talk." It wasn't unexpected when there was no response, and he walked toward the door during the awkward pause. He was ready to close it to drown out some of the commotion in the halls until Cloud visibly tensed. "Do you want the door open or closed?"

"Open."

"Okay." He gave a nod, stepping away from the door and closer to Cloud. He hadn't intended to get _too _close, but he didn't want to broadcast their entire conversation to anyone walking by either. Apparently several feet away felt like too close to the cadet though- he took a step back, causing Zack to come to a complete halt. "I'll stay here," he assured the boy, feeling more helpless by the minute. He hadn't even gotten to the apology yet, and the tension in the room was only increasing. "You know Gen and I are talking again, right?" He waited for a nod of acknowledgement before continuing, "So you know you don't have to be here? You can go at any point in time."

Cloud gave no indication that he was going to say anything else, but the way his stare shifted from annoyance to impatience…it was so quick and sharp that he found himself taking another step back- the boy had _definitely _been spending too much time with Genesis if he'd mastered that look.

"I guess I'll keep talking then?" He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling awkwardly as the blond remained unresponsive. The only thing that gave him any hope was the fact that Cloud hadn't left yet, even when presented with the opportunity- that had to mean _something. _"I mostly just wanted to apologize, for everything. If there's anything I can do-"

"I don't want anything from you," Cloud cut in finally, shaking his head adamantly. Not exactly the words Zack wanted to hear, but his heart was racing anxiously anyway- it was so much better than being ignored entirely. "I get it, okay? You don't like me, and I don't like you. I just have to tough it out a little longer, and we can both go back to forgetting we ever met."

"I'm not gonna forget anything," the SOLDIER responded softly. "I don't _want _to forget anything. I wish I'd never done those things to you, and I'm sorry for them all, but I'm not sorry that I met you."

In fact, it was difficult to remember how things were _before_ Cloud, and he wasn't quite sure how to convey that. The boy had dominated his thoughts in both negative and positive ways for months now, and some of those positive thoughts weren't going to change any time soon. He stared at Cloud intently, knowing it wasn't the right time to express any of those feelings, but hoping he would somehow understood anyway.

The blond just shook his head though, eyes widening just slightly. "Stop it."

Somewhere along the line he had begun stepping in closer again, and it wasn't until the words registered that he realized it. He wasn't sure if Cloud were referring to his approach, his staring, or his words, but he obeyed the demand anyway. The entire room seemed to stop with him, and he waited as patiently as possible…there was another apology on the tip of his tongue, but he needed Cloud to say something. To show on some level that he was comfortable with continuing their conversation.

"You get some weird entertainment out of giving me a hard time, don't you?"

"No, that's not it," he insisted, with quiet urgency. "I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable. I just want to fix this."

"I've seen how you fix things, and I'm not interested."

"I didn't mean...not like that. _Never _like that," the SOLDIER promised. The determined reassurances only seemed to be riling the cadet up though- his arms were still crossed, but his fists were clenched now, and he was shaking his head silently. "We can talk about the whole thing, if you want. Or, _you _can talk about it, and I'll listen. You can yell at me, or keep glaring like that...it hurts as much as anything you could say, seeing you look at me like that. I remember how you used to look at me."

It probably wasn't the smartest thing to mention, but it was at the forefront of his mind. All he could think about was how drastically different Cloud's expression was from the last time he'd asked the cadet to stay after class- the last time he'd offered to try to 'fix things'. It had been so easy to convince Cloud to give him the opportunity to make up for all his mistakes, even after he'd made so many poor decisions. An awkward conversation, a few reassuring words, and an inexplicable moment when they stared at each other…

Now all he could see was wariness and frustration, caused by his own actions.

"I don't want to yell at you, or glare at you, or do _anything _with you. I just wanna do what we've been doing. Ignoring you has been working for me."

"Then why'd you stay?" Zack asked, defeated yet still hopeful. "I want you to be here, but you don't have to be. I wouldn't hold it against you."

"I don't believe you," the cadet responded, like it the most obvious answer- like he couldn't fathom that Zack would even have to ask.

That stung. He knew the cadet didn't think much of him at the moment, but he hadn't quite realized how bad it was. This was someone who had looked up to him, who now believed he'd use his authority to force an encounter, even after everything that had happened between them. Or maybe _because _of everything that had happened between them…

He forced himself to look down a moment, unable to handle the incredulous look on Cloud's face as he recollected himself.

Of course Cloud didn't believe him- he had no reason to believe anything. The kid's grades were only two points above where they needed to be to qualify for mentorship, and he had every right to suspect blatantly defying his instructor would impact that. The situation had already deteriorated, even with Genesis' influence- why would Cloud think this time would be different?

Zack had a list of reasons to offer- an explanation to _prove_ why this time was different, but…being genuine with his explanation and apology didn't mean much if it were given under these circumstances. Anything he said would be dismissed if the cadet felt coerced to stay and forced to listen. More than that, he didn't want Cloud to feel like he was in that kind of situation- that he was obligated to stay, or there'd be some kind of consequence.

He took a deep breath, looking up once again with resignation as he realized what he had to do. "...How 'bout this, then? I won't ask you to stay after class again, but _you _can choose to stay, whenever you want. I'll be here for whatever you need, even if you just wanna vent or tell me off. I won't even respond unless you want me to."

"I'm never going to _choose _to stay and talk to you," Cloud responded, not even hesitating a moment.

"It's up to you. I hope you do though."

"I won't."

"Okay. Unless you're choosing to stay now, you're free to go."

Words he didn't want to say, but had to nonetheless. It was more difficult than he'd imagined, and only felt worse when Cloud immediately took the cue to leave. He didn't even look back once, moving swiftly out the door as his instructor watched his every step. Zack briefly entertained the notion that maybe Cloud would come back in a minute- even Genesis had believed that the cadet needed some kind of closure, and surely that conversation hadn't provided any to either of them.

He let out a long sigh when he realized that it wasn't going to happen, hands on his hips as he debated what to do next. Cloud had probably spoken the truth- he wouldn't choose to stay. Not only that, now he couldn't justify ever _asking _the cadet to stay again. Even when he finally understood so much more about his feelings and behavior, he'd _still _managed to make things worse. Now he was stuck, again.

* * *

o.o.o.o.o

* * *

"Didn't we talk about this, Blondie?"

Cloud had just rounded the track, slowing his pace gradually before coming to a complete halt. It was beginning to feel like that was the first question off Genesis' tongue about everything, but it actually made him smile. He was always happy to see Genesis, and the question was valid in so many situations because they talked so much- that was a good thing.

There was still an hour before he was supposed to meet his mentor for another patrol, and he hadn't expected to be found during his run. It was pretty obvious by the way his mentor raised his eyebrow so skeptically that he was remembering the last time they'd met out on the track, but there were some distinct differences. Cloud didn't even need to catch his breath this time, and his heart rate had already evened out.

"It's not what you think," the blond began, shaking his head slowly.

"You're not here to clear your head?"

"I am, but not the way you think. That was only three laps," the boy explained carefully, gesturing down at himself. "I'm not even sweating."

Genesis inspected him, tapping his chin thoughtfully before nodding in agreement. "I suppose. How many would you have gone if I didn't show up?"

"Four," he answered truthfully. He'd already planned it into his schedule for the day, and it worked out perfectly after his frustrating conversation with Commander Fair. He didn't need to push himself too far to think clearly anymore. "Everything's been easier now that we're training more."

"Has it?"

"Yeah. Can't you tell?" he asked slowly.

Surely someone who knew him so well could see the differences. It felt like he'd begun a massive transformation. There was still work to do, but he was getting stronger- physically and mentally.

"I can see it, but it's more important that _you _can see the differences in yourself," Genesis explained, his words prompting a broad smile from the cadet.

They had been spending a lot of time together- between training and patrols...and the extra sessions that Genesis tacked onto days that he didn't have too much homework or an exam to worry about. In a lot of ways he felt closer to his mentor than ever, but they were still just as far apart in so many other ways.

"Gen...can I hug you?" Cloud asked hesitantly, a determined look on his face despite the nervous beat of his heart.

"You don't have to ask."

The boy chose not to question the accuracy of that statement, throwing his arms around his mentor's waist while he had the chance. Maybe he was too eager- his mentor chuckled softly before responding, a loose arm around his waist as another hand drifted up into his hair. It had been too long since he'd been able to rest his head against his mentor's chest, and the soothing beat of his heart was exactly what Cloud needed to hear to relax a bit- to forget how strange things could get between them. No matter how many days rolled by or how carefully Genesis avoided the subject, it was prominently on Cloud's mind.

"Blondie..." He didn't dare pull back, even upon hearing his name. Instead he gripped his mentor tighter, like he needed to hold onto the moment before it was ripped away. "You know why I came out here, right?"

There were a few possibilities, but he was confident he knew which was correct. He could only draw out the silence for so long before he had to respond.

"You talked to him," Cloud guessed, letting out a short sigh.

"Yes." That was one way to ruin the mood. "Did he bother you too much? I can have him-"

"I'm okay," the cadet responded, frowning as Genesis pulled back from the embrace- hands had transitioned to his shoulders, and he was staring at the boy intently, analyzing his response. "It's like you said…I need to be able to face my problems. I didn't _like _talking to him, but I can handle it now."

"He was afraid he crossed a line. Again."

"I don't even think there _are _lines when it comes to him. Everything he does is equally obnoxious."

Genesis laughed at his, dropping his hold on Cloud entirely. "He can be. It's unfortunate you've only seen the bad side of that behavior."

Maybe it was the loss of his mentor's touch, or maybe it was his mentor's insistence on talking about Zack...something left him feeling uncomfortable, and he did his best not to react to it. His mentor's expectant stare told him he wasn't going to get out of responding so easily though.

"Gen..."

He _had _seen the good sides of Zack's behavior, quite thoroughly- he'd watched the way the man treated everyone. Everyone aside from _him_, and he had accepted that. Just because he wasn't letting it bother him anymore didn't mean he wanted to discuss it further.

Genesis seemed to recognize his growing frustration, but it didn't stop him from continuing with the subject. "I'm not saying I think you should forgive him just yet; I'm just saying when he's not being completely ridiculous or groveling, he's actually much better company. I'm surprised he hasn't made the connection yet."

"Can we not talk about him?" the cadet asked, practically pleading. It was his own fault to an extent, for pushing his mentor to work it out with his friend, but...this wasn't what he was hoping to accomplish. "I'm glad you were able to get things back to normal, but the whole point was to get things back to normal for all of us. We didn't really talk about him before, and-"

"Why do you keep saying that...get things back to normal? I thought you were happy with the way things are going now."

"It's not that I'm not happy, I just think certain things didn't need to change."

"You've made more improvements these last couple weeks than-"

"None of it matters if you don't come near me anymore," he blurted out, astonished by his own boldness.

He'd planned several more tactful way to mention it, but every time he ended up too tongue tied or worried to get it out. His other strategies had all failed as well- every related subject he brought up was shifted in a different direction with practiced ease. Every time he took a crooked step closer, his mentor would take a graceful one away. It was always almost undetectable, but entirely obvious to his cadet.

There was no taking this statement back though. No avoiding it, or pretending they were talking about something else. He could feel the heat in his cheeks, already kicking himself for bringing it up like this- Genesis almost looked stern, and the expression was doing nothing to calm his nerves.

"I'm right here, and I have been all this time."

Cloud crossed his arms, staring up somewhat defiantly. Maybe he hadn't intended to start this conversation, but he wasn't going to let his mentor out of it so easily now that it had begun. Who knew if he'd work up the courage to bring it up again after this? It would be too awkward if they didn't get it out in the open now.

"That's not what I meant."

"Blondie..." The slight hesitation caught Cloud's full attention- his mentor never hesitated. It dragged out a moment longer as the redhead stared at his cadet thoughtfully. "It's not very often I try to put anyone else before myself. You're making it incredibly difficult."

"_I'm _making this difficult?"

"Things are only as strange as you believe them to be," Genesis responded, every word spoken so delicately. "This is how a student and mentor should act with one another."

"You're the one who taught me not to care about things like that- what we should or shouldn't be doing."

"What I am about to tell you, you may never repeat to anyone…" It would have been a lot more intriguing of a statement if there weren't a slight smirk readily apparent on his face. Genesis leaned forward, eyes dancing as he whispered, "I'm not always right."

Cloud shook his head, not amused by his mentor's sudden desire to joke around. "I know that. You're wrong about this."

"It's actually cute seeing you turning all that confidence against me."

"I'm not trying to be cute! I'm trying to be honest. I'm trying to get _you _to be honest."

"I'm not being dishonest."

Maybe he hadn't lied, but the entire act between them definitely felt a bit dishonest. "You've been dodging the subject."

"I have, and it's the right thing to do, so I'm going to continue doing it. It doesn't matter how huffy you get- you should know that your adorable expressions only encourage this behavior." His smile grew as Cloud gaped at him, and he laughed in the silence. "You're proving my point already."

"Why're you taking everything else so seriously lately, but not this?"

"Blondie, do you remember when we talked before I left for Wutai?" he asked slowly, waiting for Cloud to nod. "What did I tell you?"

"You said…" Cloud frowned as the memory resurfaced. It had seemed so crazy in that moment, and it still seemed a bit ludicrous even now. "I'm not saying I'm in _love _with you."

"I'm not saying you are, but I think you need a reminder. There's a reason I told you not to think this way about me."

"You're saying it like I'm the only one," Cloud said, in too deep to stop pressing the subject now. He was already embarrassed enough- he needed to hear that it wasn't just him. "You almost kissed me, and now you're acting like this is all in my head. It happened, and I don't get why _you're _afraid of it- you're not afraid of anything, and I-"

"It's not a matter of being afraid. You're confused, Blondie, whether you want to admit it or not. And I'm not talking about you and I," Genesis told him, eyes too soft for someone so sharp. "Things didn't go the way you wanted with Zack, and now-"

"This has nothing to do with him!"

"Yes, it does," Genesis responded, a weak smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as Cloud stared up with narrowing eyes. "You told me you can't _think _clearly when you're around him, and you don't get that way around anyone else- you obviously cared about him, maybe more than you should have. Somewhere in your heart you were hoping he'd turn it around, and instead he hurt you." He paused for a moment, as if he were waiting for the cadet to draw the conclusion himself. There was only confusion in Cloud's eyes though. "I would never hurt you, and you noticed that shortly after what he did to you."

"That's not what happened," the cadet insisted, more vehemently than before. "It's always been here, between us."

"And why didn't you realize it?"

He was dumbfounded for a moment, wishing he knew the answer- it was so obvious now that it seemed strange that he'd ever managed to ignore it. "Because it didn't seem possible. I didn't want you to think that I was just…another fan, or-"

"That may have been part of it, but the main reason was because your mind was elsewhere. You don't have to deny it- it's fine, Blondie. I understand. Mine was too, and maybe it was better that way," Genesis told him solemnly. "You and I have something special, and I intend to keep it in tact for a long time. Angeal told me the secret to making something like this work, and it's going to take some getting used to, but we can still do this."

"I don't want it to be like this."

"It's not going to be easy, but he's going to earn your forgiveness eventually, and when that happens-"

"I won't forgive him." And even if he did, he certainly wouldn't have any interest in that man again- even the idea of being friends with him was unappealing at this point. "Too many things happened. I'm not just going to let them go. I can't."

"Yes, you can, Blondie. You may have developed a stubborn flare, but you're still kindhearted. You already tried to forgive him once."

"Yeah, look where that got me," Cloud scoffed, growing more and more frustrated with every word. "If I'd just listened to my gut in the first place-"

"We wouldn't be having this conversation," Genesis finished, watching Cloud with interest as he thought it over.

If the one-on-one hadn't gone so badly, he never would have spiraled into such an embarrassing breakdown...and maybe Genesis wouldn't have been in a situation where he reacted so impulsively, but...it _did_ happen. And even if it hadn't, there was always something between them. One way or another they would have gotten to this same point, and he was sure of it.

"You're wrong," he concluded, confident despite the fact that Genesis was obviously not convinced yet.

"Humor me, then. Let me pretend to be a responsible mentor for a while longer."

"You admit you're pretending?"

"Well, I'm not your mentor yet, so I suppose this has _all_ been pretend," he responded, a smirk on his face as Cloud scowled. "Just give it time, Blondie. There's a lot you haven't considered."

That was as close to a confession as he was going to get, and he was too happy about it to let the moment be ruined so quickly. He'd already thought about it _a lot_, and he'd think about what else there was to 'consider' later. For now, his accidental boldness had paid off, and he needed to capitalize on what was left of it before he changed his mind.

"I still don't like how things are. Even if nothing can happen right now, I miss how things used to be. I'm sick of you standing so far away all the time, and I don't like how you stopped teasing me, and-" He cut himself off, face red again as Genesis' eyes filled with amusement. "Not now! You need to give me at _least _twenty minutes before you start teasing me again," he insisted, pointing a warning finger at his mentor.

Usually nothing deterred Genesis when he got that look in his eyes, but this time he indulged the blond. It felt like a huge victory when a warm arm was draped around him, guiding him away from the track with just a hint of haste. They had been talking longer than he realized, and he still needed to change before their patrol- luckily Genesis was aware of the time, because it was the last thing on his mind. All he could think about was the flood of relief encompassing him. If he'd known a conversation like that wouldn't end awkwardly, he would have brought it up as soon as things had changed between them.

"You know, if you miss how things were, then you may not want what you think you want."

Cloud arched an eyebrow, looking up at his mentor curiously. The statement seemed like a riddle, and he couldn't solve it- not with Genesis staring down at him, finally standing close again.

* * *

**A/N:**

Things have been so serious the last few chapters! So annoying, and I'm the one writing it…um, I suppose that means you can expect things to gradually lighten up a bit- nothing too abrupt or illogical though ;-( Obviously there are some still some serious things to work through, but...I should bite my tongue now.

For anyone wondering, those structural edits I mentioned…I'm going to push to get those ready to go up simultaneously with the next chapter. Nothing is up yet, and I'll let y'all know if that does or doesn't happen as planned. It's a great time to ask if you have any other questions though ;-) I'm going to be adding more on how the cadet program works, the mentor program, the time frame of the story- if anything else is confusing, feel free to message me or review and I'll address it.

Of course, any other comments/reviews/thoughts are welcome/encouraged as usual!


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